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I got engaged in Cabo!

MorganShae
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MorganShae

MorganShae

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thank you sooooooooo much for all your kind words... here is a journal entry i wrote when i got home from mexico that kinda describes it...

 

i'm engaged

 

i've always been a person that over-analyzes and tries to plan things too much. when thinking about the future i have an innate sense about me that wants to be in control of what happens and when. i like to have a plan a, and plan b just in case. i had always thought that marriage would be a terrifying thing to embark on, with so many unknowns, and so many people who have failed at maintaining a healthy, stable and happy lifelong partnership. i used to be scared that one day when i planned for my future - my wedding, my marriage that i might always have reservations deep within it all or a little voice in the back of my head reminding me of what a huge decision that was and how could you ever really know who, what, where, when is right for you? but all of these fears, all of these voices were completely washed away the minute he asked me to marry him.

 

late in the evening of our first day in cabo san lucas he asked me if i wanted to take a walk on the beach. we were both tired from a full day of traveling and venturing about the resort so i thought it was a great idea to go and relax before we retired for the night. we walked hand in hand in the sand and sat in a secluded spot on the beach and watched the waves crash in. we started talking about our relationship, our futures, our goals. he told me that it didn't matter where we are or what we are doing he just wants to be with me. he said "i want you to be my wife, the mother of my kids, the person i wake up to each morning and kiss goodnight, the person who trains me that she is always right.. that is what i want and i will do whatever it takes to make you happy forever." the crazy part was, even after he said all that, i didn't see the proposal coming. i always thought it was a possibility he'd do it in cabo but i really thought if he did he would wait til the last night, to try to throw me off or make me think he wasn't going to do it. we sat in silence for a while just enjoying the beauty of the setting and he said "okay, i'm going to stop being scared and do what i came here to do [he drops to one knee and holds my hands]... morgan, i love you, you are my everything. i want to be with you forever, will you marry me?"

 

i was shocked, and taken aback, and happy and so many different emotions. i remember feeling tears building in my eyes but being too happy to even acknowledge them. stunned - i repeated "oh my god" so many times that he finally had to say "well you can at least say yes" and i yelled "yes" and we hugged and kissed and danced around on the beach. we both kept talking about how surreal it felt and how even though we've both imagined it in our heads so many times before, the real thing still doesn't feel real, but so much better than we ever could have imagined. it was a rush of adrenaline, a whirlwind of emotions, a kind of happiness that is unique to anything i've ever felt. all of this sounds cliche but it is so much more special to me because i've always been a person who uses her head over her heart and thinks love is a choice (and not some uncontrollable emotion) so to naturally feel such pure love and joy with no fears, no reservations, no worries, was something i've waited for my whole life. to feel that somehow, someway the stars have aligned - even for someone who believes that we create our own experience - was beautiful. the proposal itself was perfect, it was so fitting to our relationship. the ocean has always been a place of sanctuary for me and we have discussed how the beach is a spiritual place. when you look out into the infinity of the ocean you can't help but feel that "life is so much bigger than me" and with each waves that rolls in all your worries wash away.

 

the rest of the trip was pure bliss. we only slept a few hours after the proposal and the great thing about getting engaged after midnight is that once you go to bed, when you wake up it is still your engagement day! we were back up at the crack of dawn, he got me a manicure so my hands looked great for my ring and we spent the whole trip celebrating. in short, it was the best time of my life!

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