Talking myself out of it

HazelsMelody · August 4, 2010

It's amazing how utterly excited I can be about something and then a certain chain of events occur and I can manage to talk myself out of not only attending, but talking myself out of my excitement - that it's no longer a big deal and if I don't do it, who cares.

I was so excited to see the HMS Bounty! It's a tall ship that is visiting Thunder Bay - it's been in a few movies, "Bounty" and "Pirates of the Caribbean" being two of them. All I'd heard was that it would be in TBay August 3 and 4. My girls were with me on the 3rd so I figured it was perfect! We (fiancé and I) could take the girls on board and we'd do that together! And I know it's kind of childish, but I knew my ex-husband would want to see it, so I was kinda smug with the fact, in my own head, that I would have that opportunity to take them to see this ship, not him.

So then on Monday I found the website and then discovered that yes, it arrives in TBay on the 3rd, but they're not allowing people on board until the 4th, noon to 8pm. Well, I don't have the girls now, and my fiancé's gone out of town for work. So that craps on that idea.

So then all day, I was struggling with my schedule... I work until 4:00. I have a baby appointment at 4:30 at the hospital. Do I go to the appointment first, and then go get Diesel (my dog, who's been at home alone ALL day) and go back up to the Marina, find a place to park, walk (walking's not so easy these days, being 8 months pregnant), just to take pictures of the ship from wherever I could manage to get a picture? Because Diesel will most likely not be allowed on board, and going by myself, I can't just tie him up for 20 minutes or however long so I can go on. Or, do I run home after work, take him to the hospital and leave him in the car during my appointment, and then go to the Marina? I'd hate to leave him in the car though, it's hot and humid today.
I DO have to go home either way, because I need my camera.
And I have nobody else to come with me.

So now, I find myself convincing the rest of myself that it's not a huge deal. You're not gonna get to go on board anyway, and docked at the pier, all the sails are down, it probably isn't that fantastic, and what if you can't get close enough to get a good picture anyway because there will be SO many people there...

I hate that I do that - talk myself out of something I know I was excited about. My girls and I went for groceries last night and we actually went to the Safeway across town just so we could drive by the Marina and see it docked.

I was still struggling, when my niece caught me on Facebook just now and said she just got home from seeing it, but said it wasn't that cool, and the lines were SO long and there's so many people... I guess I'll just stay home, but I am still disappointed and annoyed at myself that I've just convinced myself to do that.