Advice Needed....Get Married Now or Later.....????

[MrsJones2Be]

Ok, so here is my problem. My FI and I are planning to get married next October in Nassau, Bahamas. BUT he has brought up the idea of us getting married this year instead at the justice of the peace and still have the wedding next year. I am 90% with him on this, because we have been together so long that it make sense for us to just do it and not wait a whole year.  BUT my issue is how do we present this to our guests, should we tell them that we are already married or should we just let it be? I don't want to lie or keep it a secret, but I want next year to still be looked at as my wedding day with all the plans we have already made. Has anyone had to deal with something similar or just have some great advice? Thanks for responding in advance!

[KaytlinJean]

I would do it! I am planning on doing it for convenience sake. Do a search on it though and you will get a bunch of thoughts and discussions on this topic! Best of luck with whatever you decide!

[carolina24]

why does he want to get "officially", ie legally married now?  if you've been together for so long as you say, then another year wouldn't be such a big deal.

 

FI and I are getting legally married 1 week before the wedding because we don't want to deal with the hassle of getting documents translated, blood tests, etc.

 

only our parents know that we are going to the courthouse that week....ALL of the other guest think that the "official" wedding is in mexico.  to us, THAT is our actual wedding day and the courthouse is just a formality.

 

i'm just thinking that if you go to the courthouse a whole year before the actual wedding, someone will end up finding out and your wedding in the bahamas will lose steam...people might still come, but it could end up being just a celebration of your marriage, not your WEDDING, kwim??

 

if i were you, i would wait to sign all the paperwork until it was much closer to the Oct 2011 date..after all, if you were getting married at home, you wouldn't go to the courthouse a year before you had the actual wedding, would you?

[Lolita29]

My fiance and i have been together now 6 years. We're getting married on May 14, 2011 in Cabo San Lucas but are going to be legally getting married here in the states before the year is up and we are doing it so that we can get a bigger tax return to help go towards our wedding in Cabo. Now our actual anniversary date is going to be May 14. We also don't want to have to deal with the blood work in Mexico which is another reason we are getting married here. So we see it as just another step to making our big day in Cabo happen. Now, we're not telling anyone but our parents about our legal day here because we don't want any negative feedback, so we're keeping it to ourselves since like i said to us our wedding day to us will be in Mexico not here, what is being done here is just paperwork to make sure that our wedding in Cabo happens. Good Luck!!

[MrsJones2Be]

Thanks guys for the feedback! We also want to get a bigger tax return and we are trying to buy a house as well. So there are several reasons why he wants it to happen now. I believe that my guests will still come regardless, because everyone I have spoken to is just excited to have a little get away. I will let you know what I decide! And Kaytlin I will search for this topic too!

[ACDCDCAC]

fyi when we got married and filed jointly, our tax return the next year was not bigger, but combined. so say instead of each of us getting $1000, instead we got $2000 total. being married didnt give us "more" money total just more money compared to filing individually if that makes sense.

 

that was just us, BUT i would def look into it before you make a decision to get married at a certain time based off of your tax return. maybe try filling out forms both ways, 2 singles and a joint, and compare the $ amount you will get back (maybe use last years as an example.) that way you have an idea what to expect...

[Lolita29]

Yea my mom does taxes and confirmed this. She's the one that suggested we get married before the end of this year for a bigger tax return to help us with the wedding. She showed me the difference when she did our taxes this year. So I'm not just saying that to say it, I'm saying it because I KNOW we will get more money.

 

[MrsJones2Be]

Thanks Lauren, my FI's name is Alphonso as well!

[Lolita29]

OMG, that is too funny!!! And they spell it the same way!!! Good thing your in VA or i would have to start asking questions lol

[classadiva]

First of all..Congrats!!!   We just got married in the Bahamas a few weeks ago.  What we did was go to the Justice of the Peace here at home a week before and keep it a secret. Our witnesses were friends whom were not coming with us to the wedding and whom did not know any of our other friends to spill the beans. I think you might want to keep it a secret if you can...but you are talking about waiting nearly a year...that is a long time.  Our rationale was that we wanted our guests to be fully in the moment.  We only told a handful of people when we got back home...I'm glad that we kept it a secret.