When Grandma Trades ya in for a 'Roo

[jajajaja]

I am so upset right now. I promised myself that when I chose a DW I wouldn't take people not attending the wedding personal but sometimes it goes so far, how can you not take it personal?

 

My aunt's husband (I don't call him "uncle" only because they married a few years ago and he is 4 years older than me...kind of weird situation, you know.) They were planning on coming to the wedding, but he recently got relocated to Australia for his job for 4-6 months. My aunt decided that she and her family may go to Australia to visit him instead. Understandable.

 

Unfortunately, my grandma and grandpa were relying on my aunt to go to Mexico. With this new trip to Australia it puts their trip in jeopardy. My mom was not happy about this situation and called up her sister and in a very sisterly way reminded her that she had enough money to do both trips. My aunt said she would do her best to work it out. Either way, I still understood. I was disappointed, but I understood if she wanted to take her kids to see her husband instead.

 

But my sister broke the final straw with me tonight. She just spent the day with our grandparents and she told me that my grandma said they are considering going to Australia now too. I asked my sister if that meant if they would go to Mexico as well. She said she didn't ask, but I assume it wouldn't because the whole reason my grandparents were relying on my aunt to go to Mexico was to share her timeshare with her. From the beginning they expressed they didn't know if they would have enough money.

 

This was just too much for me. My own grandparents have traded my wedding in for a trip to Australia?!! I know this is not certain, but to even talk about it hurts. They kept talking about my wedding as an indefinite thing, so now Australia is possibly in the works? How is this possible?

 

It seems you invite all your friends and family to celebrate the most joyous occasion in your life and that's when you find out how undervalued you are. All I wanted was the thought...not necessarily the action. This is truly a slap in the face.

[Jenn]

That's awful! I'm so sorry to hear that... Try not to get too upset until you find out all the details. I hope everything works out for you and try to stay positive!

[MikkiStreak]

Sometimes I think "family" is just an excuse for people to behave poorly.

 

I completely understand. Everyone has had family pull stuff like this. My brother pulls his kids out of school to go to a Halloween party halfway across the country, but has never attended his nephew's graduations and won't even think about attending my wedding either.

 

It sucks and it's hurtful, and family never seems to "get it".... but I bet if you were to miss a milestone anniversary party, you'd probably never hear the end of it...

 

Sorry, this type of thing pisses me off from people, so I'm probably not the best source of encouragement on this one...

[JaimeLynne]

Oh no! Can you express to your Grandma personally how much her being there truly means to you?? That's what I would do - pull out the tears and everything, don't hold back! I think it's very important for her to see your true feelings on this. I would be so incredibly hurt and sad if my Grandma didn't show up for my wedding!!!!! I bet once she sees how much her being there matters to you she'll come through for you!

 

Sorry you're going through this. I know that's gotta hurt.

[jajajaja]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikkiStreak Sometimes I think "family" is just an excuse for people to behave poorly. I completely understand. Everyone has had family pull stuff like this. My brother pulls his kids out of school to go to a Halloween party halfway across the country, but has never attended his nephew's graduations and won't even think about attending my wedding either. It sucks and it's hurtful, and family never seems to "get it".... but I bet if you were to miss a milestone anniversary party, you'd probably never hear the end of it... Sorry, this type of thing pisses me off from people, so I'm probably not the best source of encouragement on this one...

And the funny thing is we are in the process of planning my grandparents 50th anniversary and I keep chatisizing my family for not making it a big enough celebration. I want it to be so big for them...I still do even if they do go chase kangroos instead of watch me exchange vows. My integrity and values are important...and so are they.

It still hurts.

And trust me...I am like you. I get very pissed when it comes to family treating family bad. Aren't we all brought up to love and respect our family? I know I was, so why isn't the favor being returned? And why am I not even getting an explanation phone call that their plans may change..I had to hear it 3rd party.

[bride_2_b08]

awww. i'm sorry to hear about what you are going through. You might want to mention that the flight is TERRIBLE!!! i'm currently living in Australia and went to Canada for a visit last month and I can honestly say that unless they have at least 3 weeks to visit it is not worth the flight. I lost the first whole week b/c of jetlag and if your grandparents are older I would definately mention that they might want to reconsider. I personally would choose a DW over a trip here anyday!!! hope things work out for you!!!

Michelle

[TracyK]

Maybe it's nothing. Maybe because you are hearing this through the grapevine that words got mixed along the way. I would like to think your Grandparents would only be considering the trip as a another vacation, not one to replace your wedding! My heart goes out to you, I am hoping that this is the case.

 

Tracy

[starchild]

I hope it's not true. If it is you can talk to grandma and explain how much you want her there but it sucks because you shouldn't have to. You want people to come on their own will, not twist their arm into seeing you get married. I also had family issues too.

 

One of my favorite uncles declined the trip from the start because it was going to cost $4000 for his family to go - this is an uncle whose kids' college funds have been paid and sitting in the bank since before they entered pre-school. Since I announced my wedding they have been to Atlanta to watch a baseball game, Phoenix to watch a baseball game, and they're going to China next month for (surprise) a baseball game. Don't say Mexico is too much money!!

 

Sorry I went off like Maria, lol, but it hurts when people you envision at your wedding choose frivalous things over a major family event.

[erik.wade]

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and bet you haven't spoken to your grandparents at all regarding this?

 

When things like this happen in my family, I demand that the distraught parties talk amongst themselves. Often times they realize too quickly that it was all a big misunderstanding and that the rumors were wrong.

 

Might I suggest you do the same before you worry too much without confirming if it is even true or not. With that said, I would also suggest cornering your sister and asking if she going to be present at your wedding, if she might be willing to offer her timeshare to those that would like to be there like your grandparents. Or ask if she might be willing to chip in as a sort of anniversary present.

 

However you look at it, I am sorry that you have all this going on, but before you go crazy, get some answers. Then, once you have answers, if the information is as bad as you think, I know a couple guys with baseball bats that might be able to "Convince that sister and brother in law of yours"

 

Only kidding...LOL

Erik

[TammyB]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikkiStreak Sometimes I think "family" is just an excuse for people to behave poorly. ...

I couldn't agree more. I won't get started on my family because I would be here all day typing, but with that said, try to not think about it until you know for a fact that their not going to your wedding. Maybe they are trying to figure out a way to do both. Maybe talk to them and say "I'm so excited your going to Mexico for our wedding, it means so much, I hope I have a happy long marriage like you two do" and see if they say anything to you about it.