I know people aren't made of money

[traceysteve]

too bad we can't say what we really want to. we know a lot of our friends won't be coming for our wedding, actually it's more of my FI bestest friends, we'll see what happens. I don't want to hear anyone's BS. If you don't like it, don't come!

[lesley_mexico_bride]

 

Originally Posted by pinkbride2011 

I actually had a little break down the other day in regards to this.  I know it's expensive and it's a time commitment... and we're not inviting kids, but when we announced our engagement and location (at the same time) last August so many of our friends and family were excited and "DEFINITELY going".  We paid the extra money for the 50+ person wedding and signed the contract binding us to that number (we could have done 49 or less for much cheaper).  We're now 5 months from our wedding and 1/2 of our guest have told our friends (not us) that they won't be attending.  

 

3 couples are not going bc they're pregnant- I could understand if it was bc they're too far along, but it's not.  The first one to get pregnant told the other moms-to-be that water/food in Mexico is dangerous to a fetus and now they're to scared to go. 

 

2 couples got engaged after us and decided they want to do destination weddings also, and now they can't afford to go to ours. 

 

1. I wish they'd tell us and not our friends first- it's hurtful to hear it second hand.

2. I wish they would have looked into the commitment before giving the verbal commitment and causing us to make the binding contractual commitment. 

 

I'm trying to stay positive and not care.... but the money we've commited to on their behalf couldn've been spent elsewhere.  On top of all of that, one of my very good friends said she heard about 12 beheadings in Alcupulco and now she's scared to go and not excited.  Why would she tell me that?  Does she think I can change the location now?  Does she think I want to hear she doesn't really want to be there anymore?  We're getting married in Cabo, not Alcupulco!  There hasn't been a single killing in Cabo!  It's so frustrating and I'm scared she's going to spread fear like the prego lady did. 

 

I'm glad this is par for the course and I think most of you are right, the people that want to be there will get there, and they're the important people.  The day is about my fiance and me and our family is definitely there and already booked, so are our BFF.  At the end of the day.... all we've wasted is some money, but learned who are real and reliable friends are.

Wow, I feel the same as you. Tomorrow is 2 months from the wedding, and I have had so much drama in the past 2 weeks. My matron of honor (ex) and a groomsman are having a disgusting affair after once confiding in me and telling me she would call it off with him and get counseling with her husband she showed up to his house (where the party was at) in front of friends after she promised she wouldn't and has been sneaking in gross. This is also after she made comments about my hips while trying on my wedding dress. I yelled at them at a party (right after my bridal shower that day) and outted their dirty secret and we are not speaking. 2 days later my fiance told me that the matron of honor told him (before the fight happened) that my most loyal friend and bridesmaid (I thought) was not coming to the wedding because she is 2 months pregnant because of the water. She was also complaining before that to other people that we are all going to die there. I really did not want to hear it from the ex-matron either ugh. 3 people in the wedding party already out in 2 days. Luckily we have enough in our wedding party who are AWESOME but it still sucks. I am very close to ex-MOH's family and I am waiting to hear from her mom to ask why ex-MOH was kicked out of the wedding.....if she tells her soon I hope (I am not going to tell her mom that she is carrying on with this affair), and also how that affects her family going or not. On top of that, there is complaining about the price and how we are all going to die and how we shouldn't leave the resort or have a bacherlorette down there. One of my friends told me that you will find out who your real friends are with your wedding. Funny how it's my lifelong or HS friends that cant have any event that is not about themselves and the friends that I have chosen in my adult life are the ones that are genuinely excited and supportive. These next two months are supposed to be the happiest of our lives and I don't want to be drawn into this immature drama. UGH sorry but I needed to vent!!!

[pinkbride2011]

All I can say is hang in there and stay positive!!!  I posted this message to vent (a long time ago) bc I didn't want to voice it to anyone that I knew or that would be attending the wedding.... and I'm so glad I didn't.  There has been a huge turn of events.  Most of the people we originally were told are not attending, are actually coming after all!!  Unfortunately, one of the women miscarried, which I truly am sorry for and my heart goes out to her.  Another one of the women thought she was pregnant, but turned out not to be... so they're coming too.  In the end... our wedding is about 38 ppl, which is a perfect (for us) size wedding and by keeping quiet and positive to everyone else, I didn't hurt anyone's feelings or ruin their desire to come.  Staying positive goes a long way.... I have to thank this forum for letting me vent without making the situation worse and for all the encouraging responses. 

 

I'm sorry for your experience.... I think you are smart to realize who wants to be happy for you and who isn't able or willing.  Concentrate on the good friends and forget the rest.  Good luck, I hope it all starts to look "up" soon!

 

Originally Posted by lesley_mexico_bride 

 

Wow, I feel the same as you. Tomorrow is 2 months from the wedding, and I have had so much drama in the past 2 weeks. My matron of honor (ex) and a groomsman are having a disgusting affair after once confiding in me and telling me she would call it off with him and get counseling with her husband she showed up to his house (where the party was at) in front of friends after she promised she wouldn't and has been sneaking in gross. This is also after she made comments about my hips while trying on my wedding dress. I yelled at them at a party (right after my bridal shower that day) and outted their dirty secret and we are not speaking. 2 days later my fiance told me that the matron of honor told him (before the fight happened) that my most loyal friend and bridesmaid (I thought) was not coming to the wedding because she is 2 months pregnant because of the water. She was also complaining before that to other people that we are all going to die there. I really did not want to hear it from the ex-matron either ugh. 3 people in the wedding party already out in 2 days. Luckily we have enough in our wedding party who are AWESOME but it still sucks. I am very close to ex-MOH's family and I am waiting to hear from her mom to ask why ex-MOH was kicked out of the wedding.....if she tells her soon I hope (I am not going to tell her mom that she is carrying on with this affair), and also how that affects her family going or not. On top of that, there is complaining about the price and how we are all going to die and how we shouldn't leave the resort or have a bacherlorette down there. One of my friends told me that you will find out who your real friends are with your wedding. Funny how it's my lifelong or HS friends that cant have any event that is not about themselves and the friends that I have chosen in my adult life are the ones that are genuinely excited and supportive. These next two months are supposed to be the happiest of our lives and I don't want to be drawn into this immature drama. UGH sorry but I needed to vent!!!

 

[Jessica4LUXE]

Hi Ladies,

 

I have to say that 99% of all destination wedding stressors come from friends and family. Do they not realize how stressful it is for you to hear these comments?? Ultimately it is your wedding. It is what you want to do and obviously this is the choice that is making you the happiest!

 

I truly believe that friends and family sometimes have no idea how negatively comments/negative feedback and advice can affect you. We at LUXE often find ourselves consoling brides and our hearts go out each and every one of you who are going through the same thing. We often decide to send out an email letting everyone know that if they have any questions/comments about travel, to take it up with us and leave the bride and groom out of it

 

At the end of the day, you will have the most amazing trip and amazing wedding with no regrets. Stay strong ladies!!!!

[vav11238]

It's all about what is a priority to each individual. I've been incredibly understanding to everyone when I planned to have the wedding in DR. It is the cheapest, most affordable place to have a vacation. I wanted to book a high-end, pricey hotel but changed, largely for, my brother who has a family of five. I toiled for weeks comparing prices making sure kids would be staying for free. I sent him a massively early email letting him know to begin saving for the flights (my sister works for an airline and we get massive discounts), and the hotel. Our parents had already offered to cover the cost of passports. Plans were being made to cater to him and his family because the only people I cared be there beyond me and the fiance is my immediate family. 

 

Without a cost being sent to him, he called me and said no matter what my nephews and his wife weren't coming because they couldn't afford it. With eleven months to save?!? With massive flight discounts??? With our mom covering three passports??? With kids stay free??? 

 

And then I heard he brought a flat screen TV with his tax return. 

 

Because that was his priority. In the end, I had a hissy fit, shed tears in public, wrote a scathing blog post and called my parents who sorted it all out. After that, I decided I really could give a crap who will or won't be there. Most of my close friends won't. Non of my FI's friends will be either (though in all fairness traveling from the UK is a massive commitment). I've 60 people the majority of which are my parents friends and second, third cousins. You just have to think about you and the FI in these cases because in the end, he's the only one you'll looking at. 

[Dominican Ally]

Oh ladies I feel you all. I'm just getting into the planning, but can already anticipate things getting ugly, and me having a break down!

 

Hang in there, everyone! And remember, you chose a DW for your own reasons - no need to justify it to anyone. I don't understand where people get off acting as if they are obligated to come, and reminding you all of the expense, etc.........they were "invited"...they can say no!

 

I'm sending out 150 invites, and I'm fully expecting to potentially only have 20 people. The only reason I feel confident with at least this number is that I have almost this number saying they will be there no matter what. Lets hope this doesn't change

[Cateyedcutie]

As long as February 21, 2013 ends with FI and I as man and wife nothing else matters. I'm not getting the "why a dw, it's so expensive", I on the other hand keep getting "Jamaica huh? Cool, im so there!!! Wait 2013? Why so far away?"....knowing that the second the deposit is due, it'll immediately change to "I can't afford to go, wish you'd have told me sooner so I could have started saving. Keep in mind we've been engaged and picked the wedding day since July of 2012. I've said all that to say this: people are impossible! They will drive you up the wall if you let them. As long as you and FI are there, nothing else matters.

[Dominican Ally]

I totally agree - and I'm trying to mentally prepare for those who are going to drive me up the wall. I don't want anything to ruin that day, because you're right - all that matters is that at the end of the day, we will be married in paradise!
 

Originally Posted by Cateyedcutie 

As long as February 21, 2013 ends with FI and I as man and wife nothing else matters. I'm not getting the "why a dw, it's so expensive", I on the other hand keep getting "Jamaica huh? Cool, im so there!!! Wait 2013? Why so far away?"....knowing that the second the deposit is due, it'll immediately change to "I can't afford to go, wish you'd have told me sooner so I could have started saving. Keep in mind we've been engaged and picked the wedding day since July of 2012. I've said all that to say this: people are impossible! They will drive you up the wall if you let them. As long as you and FI are there, nothing else matters.

 

[vav11238]

I, too, thought I'd be lucky to get 30, out of the 110 we invited. And that was all I really wanted. But now I've 57 RSVP'd and 10 more told me at the shower that they're still pricing out tickets. The wedding is in 30 days. Which has me frantic because I cannot keep getting things for OTT bags. And the cost of our excursion (that we're paying for all the guests) is going up. Plus the cost of the wedding. Mind you, these people complained before hand and are still forcing themselves to come. 

 

 

Originally Posted by Dominican Ally 

Oh ladies I feel you all. I'm just getting into the planning, but can already anticipate things getting ugly, and me having a break down!

 

Hang in there, everyone! And remember, you chose a DW for your own reasons - no need to justify it to anyone. I don't understand where people get off acting as if they are obligated to come, and reminding you all of the expense, etc.........they were "invited"...they can say no!

 

I'm sending out 150 invites, and I'm fully expecting to potentially only have 20 people. The only reason I feel confident with at least this number is that I have almost this number saying they will be there no matter what. Lets hope this doesn't change

 

[Dominican Ally]

Now you're scaring me! lol. Maybe I shouldn't send out so many invites? We were basically going to send out STD's to everyone that we would invite to an AHR after, thinking most people won't come. Maybe I should just limit the STDs to immediate family and close friends....

 

It's great to have such a large turnout, but at the same time - if I had that many people, there is no way I can afford OOT bags for everyone, excursions, etc.

 

Maybe if I set an absolute deadline to book by, etc....then extra people can't just book last minute.

Originally Posted by vav11238 

I, too, thought I'd be lucky to get 30, out of the 110 we invited. And that was all I really wanted. But now I've 57 RSVP'd and 10 more told me at the shower that they're still pricing out tickets. The wedding is in 30 days. Which has me frantic because I cannot keep getting things for OTT bags. And the cost of our excursion (that we're paying for all the guests) is going up. Plus the cost of the wedding. Mind you, these people complained before hand and are still forcing themselves to come.