I know people aren't made of money

[snow88]

One of the people that I invited got married in Jamaica as well.  She keeps saying why am I getting married in Ocho Rios?  Why do I have a wedding planner?  That's too expensive.  Why don't I get married in Montego Bay since it's close to the airport?  I told her 1. we want to get married at the Falls and that is non-negotiable. The falls that my fiance and I chose was Coyaba. 2. The same hotel she stayed at had to have a wedding planner.  After all the cake wasn't baked by itself nor the flowers found itself in the proper place.

That answer above shut her up. 

 

One time she even suggested that we don't have a wedding and just go to the Justice of The Peace. 

 

My fiance family is all excited and so helpful.  I wish I could say the same for mine.

 

Anyway, sorry for the vent.  Hang in there.  It seems we are all going through these problems.

[miss_delerium]

 

 

Originally Posted by snow88 

 

My fiance family is all excited and so helpful.  I wish I could say the same for mine.

Ugh...I can relate to that! My family doesn't even really seem to care that I'm getting married, whereas, FI's family is SUPER excited. Every time we see them, that's all they talk about. It's a nice change from my stupid family, who are basically treating our wedding as an annoyance that they hope will just go away....

 

[soontobemrsdow]

 

Originally Posted by miss_delerium 

Ugh...I can relate to that! My family doesn't even really seem to care that I'm getting married, whereas, FI's family is SUPER excited. Every time we see them, that's all they talk about. It's a nice change from my stupid family, who are basically treating our wedding as an annoyance that they hope will just go away....
 

 

I feel your pain. Once everyone is down there though I'm sure they'll all change their ways and you'll end up having a great time!

 

[aholen]

Yes, super annoying! Yes, people are coming all that way for YOUR wedding, but it's also THEIR vacation! I'm thinking of just telling people who mention the money thing that we're eloping, if people want to crash the elopement, they're welcome!

[pinkbride2011]

I actually had a little break down the other day in regards to this.  I know it's expensive and it's a time commitment... and we're not inviting kids, but when we announced our engagement and location (at the same time) last August so many of our friends and family were excited and "DEFINITELY going".  We paid the extra money for the 50+ person wedding and signed the contract binding us to that number (we could have done 49 or less for much cheaper).  We're now 5 months from our wedding and 1/2 of our guest have told our friends (not us) that they won't be attending.  

 

3 couples are not going bc they're pregnant- I could understand if it was bc they're too far along, but it's not.  The first one to get pregnant told the other moms-to-be that water/food in Mexico is dangerous to a fetus and now they're to scared to go. 

 

2 couples got engaged after us and decided they want to do destination weddings also, and now they can't afford to go to ours. 

 

1. I wish they'd tell us and not our friends first- it's hurtful to hear it second hand.

2. I wish they would have looked into the commitment before giving the verbal commitment and causing us to make the binding contractual commitment. 

 

I'm trying to stay positive and not care.... but the money we've commited to on their behalf couldn've been spent elsewhere.  On top of all of that, one of my very good friends said she heard about 12 beheadings in Alcupulco and now she's scared to go and not excited.  Why would she tell me that?  Does she think I can change the location now?  Does she think I want to hear she doesn't really want to be there anymore?  We're getting married in Cabo, not Alcupulco!  There hasn't been a single killing in Cabo!  It's so frustrating and I'm scared she's going to spread fear like the prego lady did. 

 

I'm glad this is par for the course and I think most of you are right, the people that want to be there will get there, and they're the important people.  The day is about my fiance and me and our family is definitely there and already booked, so are our BFF.  At the end of the day.... all we've wasted is some money, but learned who are real and reliable friends are.

[CanadianLindsey]

It's funny how everyone seems to follow tradition and be thoughtful and polite when it comes to weddings, unless it's a destination wedding!!  Why does the fact that my wedding is not in my hometown change the rules? People don't complain when they have to travel to a family member's/friends wedding out of province/state.  What is the difference? I have spent many hours in the car driving to weddings in my friends small hometowns, paying for gas and hotels, using my vacation days...I never blamed the bride and groom for having their wedding there.  It was my choice to go.

People need to grow up and realize that if a DW is not for them, then don't go!   But DO NOT bring the bride and groom and other potential guests down with you just because you feel guilty you cannot attend!!!    Some people I will just never understand (mostly my MIL who was the worst leading up to our DW!!)

 

 

[wilsonj2]

I am SO with you girls.  My family does not have a lot of money, and we knew that when we decided.  BUT we gave everyone a year to save.  6 months to go and now people are saying they didn't know it would cost so much...they could have checked on that 6 months ago!  And everyone keeps reminding me of how expensive my island choice is.  Do they think I don't know that?  Thank goodness for supportive friends and family who are thinking of this as a fun vacation with a wedding bonus. My TA told me to choose the destination where I would be happy if it were just the two of us and no one else showed up....so we did.

 

When I chose a destination wedding, I thought it would be so easy to plan, but this is so much more stress than I thought it would be.  Why do people have to make it soooo complicated???  Especially the people closest to us???!

[jennifersyble]

We've had mixed reviews for choosing a dw. Surprisingly, most of our friends are totally supportive and excited but some of our immediate family members have had reservations about going. It's sad but I've tried to not think too much about it. I'd understand if they were strapped for cash but they're not and it makes me sad to think that it's not enough of a priority to make the point to go. Oh well, I guess I should have expected this type of reaction when I made the choice to have a destination wedding.  

[proti007]

Oh Ladies! I'm in the same boat! 

 

We're getting married in Cabo, and have been getting everything under the sun with regards to comments: It's going to coast how much?! Couldn't you pick somewhere closer for us? (this is from our Toronto guests, who are shocked that they will not be able to fly direct with most airlines). You're getting married in Cabo....in July?! (I'm a teacher, not much flexibility here people!).

 

The most surprising has been my sister and her new husband (she just got married in August). She has criticized my FI and I for picking an "expensive" resort that puts the cost onto guests (everyone is free to stay off the resort!). Ultimately I think it's resentment towards the fact that she had a huge, expensive wedding that she dug herself and her husband into a financial hole to do, and is upset that it all seems so "easy" for me. Sigh....

 

PikiBride, I have heard MANY similar comments (Acapulco beheadings, hotels blowing up in the Mayan, Italian hit jobs in the Mayan, etc, etc, etc.), to which I have reiterated, the crime in Cabo is less than most major American cities. My BF is also pregnant right now (due in March) and is one of my bridesmaids. She is not bringing her baby (it will be about 5 months) as she also said the food/water is not safe. Ummmm, it's a five star resort!!!! I'm sure they filter their water! We're not staying in the slums of some village! Try to stay positive my dear!

[NEMMERZ]

I have always been surprised of brides on here that say 50 people and counting...............I am like...WHAT??  Seriously??...I am lucky to have 6 people coming!!!

 

I knew that goin in tho...........i am not having a bridal party or alot of the bells and whistles tho.....totally simple, but i still wanted my friends to be there.

 

All the friends I have been in their weddings...........Of course out of my state...........I too.....have paid for gas and two days at a hotel and days off work and shitty bridesmaid dresses that cost 300

 

BEST COMMENT OF ALL................AND I QUOTE."I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO SPEND MY MONEY ON"................this coming from friends whom we were JUST in their wedding last April............YES the BOTH of us............costs us close to $2000.00 for both us to be in your wedding and you tell me THIS!!!  I was the Maid of Honor and at the time was told "we are totally there for you when you get married"............Oh sounded like the thing to say at the time for them!!!

 

 

And then.....get this one.........................my BFF didnt like my choice of Sandos Playacar Hotel the first time, told me reviews were shitty and rooms we old and dingy so.................we looked and i picked Secrets Maroma a much more expensive hotel........she said my guests would rather pay better money and stay at a nice hotel than pay money to stay at the "comfort inn of mexico"............ so i changed it..............made the Permanent change..........and low and behold NOT many ppl are coming at all.............NOW she CANT came cuz her husband has a job to go to and she just CANT DO IT.............really???  really????

 

Anyway, I am still super excited to go get married on the beach, I honestly dont care if its just me and my FI.....we are super excited and ppl will get over it!!!  We are actually kinda happy only immediate families are going, less people to cater to and make happy and less people to make sure to spend time with............it will truly be a vacation for all......

 

So all brides look at it that way.........the less people.......the less BS.......less to cater too..............and more time to just ENJOY!!