Anyone having a large destination wedding?

[maura777]

MissSimone - I understand what you mean about some people not being able to afford the trip. I have lots of people complaining to me about the cost of the trip. It's so frustrating and I wish they would understand that the decision has already been made, and complaining to me just adds to my already high stress level. I don't want to sound insensitive to their financial situations, but the fact is that I am not going to change it, and in having a destination wedding we all knew from the get go that some people just won't be able to make it. Complain to someone else, please!

 

As for my wedding party, I am not paying for them, though I am trying to help minimize costs by buying their dresses and jewelry and letting them wear whatever shoes they want.

[MissSimone]

Maura- You're better than me. I don't plan on paying for my BM's dresses. I feel like since I'm giving people 3 yrs notice that's enough time to save up for my wedding. If you can't save 1600 in 3 yrs then there's obviously some serious issues in your life you need to address. LOL

[maura777]

MissSimone, I understand what you mean. I only gave my bridesmaids about 7 months notice, and I know that some are having financial difficulties, so I felt I had to do something. Plus, some are on the west coast and even London, so they are also paying a lot for flights. However, I'm already kind of regretting it since I have 8(!) bridesmaids and that really added up!

[Mkandola]

It can be as stressfree as you make it! You have to keep in mind that not all of your guests are going to come and be okay with that before you decide to have a large destination wedding. I have 50 people booked and counting - and there is really nothing to stress about ... it will be amazing anyway!

[debbmach]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mkandola It can be as stressfree as you make it! You have to keep in mind that not all of your guests are going to come and be okay with that before you decide to have a large destination wedding. I have 50 people booked and counting - and there is really nothing to stress about ... it will be amazing anyway!

agreed...well said!

[MissSimone]

so right. as long as the most important people are there there will be nothing to stress about!

[JesseLyn10]

In my previous post, I shared the problems with getting everyone booked and how I stressed about it. Now that I am home from Jamaica (flew in last night) I think the biggest issue with a large group is that there will be people who will never be happy.

 

It rained at least once a day (except my wedding day which was complete luck!) and there were guests who just complained that they were going to go home paler than they came etc. then they complained about the staff (they wanted their room cleaned at a specific time which is totally unreasonable at an 800 room resort) and the list of complaints goes on. These are people who no matter what were set on being miserable. My MOH told me this as I was stressing out over their unhappiness and then it hit me that she was right and the complainers were hell bent on having a bad time.

 

You make your own fun and if people can't have a good time at an all inclusive resort in a stunning location, don't let that get you down. Focus on the positive people and have a great time!

[JesseLyn10]

Just another point that I thought I'd mention now that my wedding has come and gone.  With a large group my FI and I were really stretched trying to spend time with everyone (eating dinner with parents, hanging out with family and friends at the beach/pool, making sure we see everyone at either the pool or beach during the day etc.) What worked for us was to spread the word that whatever activities everyone did during the day, we would always be at a specific bar after dinner (at ROR we were at the Dunn's Bar which is pretty central).  This way everyone can stop by for a drink or just to say a quick hello on their way by.  It made it way easier to touch base with our guests and made sure that we were easily found on the resort.

 

Good luck to everyone!

[debbmach]

Thanks for this advice. One thing that has been in the back of my mind is how I"m going to get around and spend time with everyone. Did you find you would just run into people at the beach/pool or at the dinner buffett? I don't want to plan too much for our guests so I'm leaving everything open (aside from a welcome dinner). I was just telling FI that I think it's going to be a very busy week for us, just because we want to spend time with everyone there and we're expecting 80 people...we'll just have to make sure we stretch ourselves i guess! I do like the idea of always being at the same place in the evening, I'll have to do that, find a central bar and tell everyone that's where we'll be after dinner.
 

Originally Posted by JesseLyn10 

Just another point that I thought I'd mention now that my wedding has come and gone.  With a large group my FI and I were really stretched trying to spend time with everyone (eating dinner with parents, hanging out with family and friends at the beach/pool, making sure we see everyone at either the pool or beach during the day etc.) What worked for us was to spread the word that whatever activities everyone did during the day, we would always be at a specific bar after dinner (at ROR we were at the Dunn's Bar which is pretty central).  This way everyone can stop by for a drink or just to say a quick hello on their way by.  It made it way easier to touch base with our guests and made sure that we were easily found on the resort.

 

Good luck to everyone!

[JesseLyn10]

 

 

Originally Posted by debbmach 

 

Thanks for this advice. One thing that has been in the back of my mind is how I"m going to get around and spend time with everyone. Did you find you would just run into people at the beach/pool or at the dinner buffett? I don't want to plan too much for our guests so I'm leaving everything open (aside from a welcome dinner). I was just telling FI that I think it's going to be a very busy week for us, just because we want to spend time with everyone there and we're expecting 80 people...we'll just have to make sure we stretch ourselves i guess! I do like the idea of always being at the same place in the evening, I'll have to do that, find a central bar and tell everyone that's where we'll be after dinner.

 

 

 

It was funny because the ROR is a huge resort and wherever we went, we saw people we knew.  It was great! 

 

I really began to feel guilty because we almost always would end up at a pool and our friends would eventually make their way over but our parents were on the beach all the time so we would kind of shuttle between the two.  The only problem with this method is that on the way to the other location we would see so many other people and have conversations so that when we got to the beach/pool, we would only stay there for 1/2 hour and then make our way back to the other spot.  It is going to be an exhausting (but great!) week - it was for us for sure!  We are packing for a mini-honeymoon in Newfoundland right now just to have time to relax!

 

The central bar saved us!  Our guests arrived over 3 days and whenever we greeted them we would just tell them that each evening we will be at a specific bar so they were free to do what they wanted and if they wanted to pass by and see us after dinner, great!  We also only ate at the buffet and not at the other restaurants because it was easier to be flexible with the buffet (and it had amazing food!).  I also didn't want to plan all kinds of activities and wanted everyone to feel like it was their vacation so having a meeting place made everyone able to move at their own pace.