how long should a couple be engaged for?

[pat291]

I am just wondering what everyone's opinion is on this, when is it too long to be engaged? I guess everyone has their personal cut off time, whats yours? I have been engaged 3 years and I am starting to feel a ways esp. when people ask me when is my wedding and I don't know what to say because it should have been this year but got pushed back due to finances, work etc.

[NaM]

I don't think there is a right answer. You do what works for you. I was only engaged for 3 months before I got married and some people never get engaged...or married, they are just together.

If you want to get married, get married...you can always go back and do the wedding when the timing is better.

[Norma83]

Hi Pat291 -

 

I think it just depends on everyone's situation. My fiance and I will be engaged for 3 years come July 4th and by the time we get married in 2012, we will have been engaged for almost 5 -- AND we've been together for 9 years! So, I know what you mean when people always ask, "when are you getting married?" or "When is the wedding date?" I would just tell them, oh it'll happen when it's supposed to happen or I'd also respond with, what's the rush?

 

Don't get discouraged, it'll happen when it's supposed to happen and know that you aren't alone

[starchild]

I agree that there is no right answer. When you're ready, you're ready whether that is a few months or a few years.

[AshleyW]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Norma83 Hi Pat291 - I think it just depends on everyone's situation. My fiance and I will be engaged for 3 years come July 4th and by the time we get married in 2012, we will have been engaged for almost 5 -- AND we've been together for 9 years! So, I know what you mean when people always ask, "when are you getting married?" or "When is the wedding date?" I would just tell them, oh it'll happen when it's supposed to happen or I'd also respond with, what's the rush? Don't get discouraged, it'll happen when it's supposed to happen and know that you aren't alone

I agree! My fiance & I have been together for 8 1/2 years (high school sweethearts) and engaged for almost 2 1/2 years. By the time we get married in 2012, we'll have been together for just shy of 11 years and engaged for a little over 4 1/2 years.

I always just tell people that we're trying to get all of our ducks in a row beforehand. I'd like to finish school before the wedding, and we're hoping to save up for a house to buy around wedding time. I don't think there's anything wrong with a long engagement.

[Ellabaja1983]

I agree, it all depends on the individual situation. For some only a few months work, for others it takes longer to decide what they want or to get the money together to afford the wedding.

 

By the time my fiance and I get married we will have been engaged almost two years. It has taken almost a year for us to really figure out what is right for us and how to get things inline just right.

[Cindy*]

I agree that it is different for everyone. I personally believe that if I was ready to get engaged, I'm ready to get married. We will be engaged 10 months by the time we get married and really its only that long so that I could give people sufficient notice that the wedding was destination. But everyone is diffierent, if you are happy in your relationship and happy to wait there is nothing wrong with that. If you aren't happy waiting, maybe you should talk to your FI about setting a date and moving forward with the wedding.

 

In terms of what to tell other people, I wouldn't worry about that. It is what you and your FI think that is important.

[hockeymom97]

I agree with what others have posted...there is no right answer to this. What matters is what works best for you and your FI, because ultimately, that's what it's all about. My FI and I will have been engaged about 3 and a half years by the time we get married. I won't bore you with all the details, but things just didn't work out until now, and I'm fine with that. So do what's best for the two of you and all the rest will work itself out

[Tennyt1]

As long as it takes you to plan the wedding - even if you are not initially even planning. It took me over 1 year to even start planning because of whatever reasons. I think it's what works for you.

[pat291]

thank u ladies for the reply-you have me feeling much better about my situation, it's sad that other people give me the side eye when I tell them how long we have been engaged for and sometimes tell me if it took that long to happen it will never be and that I made a mistake living with a man b4 being his wife and some older folks even made the comment "why buy the cow when u can get the milk for free" I don't know how much truth there is to that, I guess they are trying to say I am already giving my fiance' the married life.