Who paid for your dress

[midnight24]

i paid for my own dress and i was a little surprised that my mom didn't actually. she made a big deal about going dress shopping with me everytime i went and didn't want anyone else to go. so when it came time to pay the deposit, pay the remainder and pay the alterations i paid. she didn't even offer.

 

the day of my AHR she offered to pay for my hair/makeup because she said then she wanted to pay for my dress and never got a chance. it's no big deal but she had every chance to pay.

 

she was more than generous with paying for parts of the AHR so i'm not complaining.

 

bottom line...never assume anything. plus i got want i wanted and i'm happy with it, and how much i spent. i went in with a reasonable budget and came way under.

[giraffexx]

my dad bought mine

[Cindy*]

FI and I are paying for our wedding ourselves. I fully expected that I would be paying for my wedding dress but actually got an unexpected surprise. My grandmother passed away about 2 years ago. Turns out, she had left money for me specifically for my wedding dress. So after we got engaged, my dad let me know about that. It was such an amazing surpirse. The nice thing is I found a dress that was less than what she left me so I splurged and bought fabulous shoes as well.

 

In terms of the issue of expecting your mom to pay or at least offer to pay, I unfortunately can't really comment. My mom is passed away. Though I have a good relationship with my stepmother and though she has been my stepmother since I was 10, I have never felt like she considered me "her daughter" and would never have expected her to pay for my dress.

[MDLady]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Princess402 Lindslou, I think I totally get what you are saying and feel bad that you are having this experience. I know that it's not about the $$$. I think that I have a fairly similar situation in that my dad passed away 5 years ago, and so getting married without him is just plain hard. I guess I had always hoped that my mom would get that, and would really step up to the plate to make this time special for me, especially since my dad is not here to share in it. Getting the dress was definitely something important that I looked forward to sharing with her. She has gone dress shopping with me, but I have basically had to force her into it. She's just not enthusiastic about it, and while she tries to be supportive, she has not had any sort of emotional reaction to seeing me in a wedding dress. For me, it was really disappointing. That being said, I think she is just not a wedding person. Anyways, she did really like the dress I ended up choosing and I too was kind of hoping that she would buy it for me, but nope. It's not because I wanted her to give me money, but just that it would be a really special gift from her to me. It really and truly is not about the money, and this might sound dumb, but I just want her to WANT to do something special for me. I want her to care that I'm getting married! I'm hoping that maybe she will surprise me and buy my veil or something, but I feel kind of doubtful. Anyways, again, sorry you are going through this. My mom didn't buy my dress either. And I totally get that it's not about the cost of the dress being covered, it's about what your mom buying your dress would have meant to you. It's so hard planning a wedding without your dad, and even harder when your mom doesn't quite live up to your expectations. I really hope she surprises you by doing something else before your big day!

That's a totally different issue as you stated. I was more hurt that my Mom wasn't excited about the whole wedding process, even though she gave me $$.. I was hurt and it would have meant a lot more for her to actually be happy for me than any money that she could give me. I also just didn't understand it because she always asked my FI and I what we were waiting for but as soon as the engagement happened, she just shut me out completely. She went dress shopping with my aunt, my best friend, and I but she barely participated and you could tell that she was uncomfortable. I still don't understand it since we have always been very close and it is not as if she doesn't like my fiance. I think she is just having a really hard time adjusting to a different role but it still hurts when you want to have your Mom there and be more happy for you than anyone else. But we don't know what's going on with them emotionally so perhaps there are reasons for this strange behavior when to us, brides, it seems so simple.

[Lindslou]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Princess402 Lindslou, I think I totally get what you are saying and feel bad that you are having this experience. I know that it's not about the $$$. I think that I have a fairly similar situation in that my dad passed away 5 years ago, and so getting married without him is just plain hard. I guess I had always hoped that my mom would get that, and would really step up to the plate to make this time special for me, especially since my dad is not here to share in it. Getting the dress was definitely something important that I looked forward to sharing with her. She has gone dress shopping with me, but I have basically had to force her into it. She's just not enthusiastic about it, and while she tries to be supportive, she has not had any sort of emotional reaction to seeing me in a wedding dress. For me, it was really disappointing. That being said, I think she is just not a wedding person. Anyways, she did really like the dress I ended up choosing and I too was kind of hoping that she would buy it for me, but nope. It's not because I wanted her to give me money, but just that it would be a really special gift from her to me. It really and truly is not about the money, and this might sound dumb, but I just want her to WANT to do something special for me. I want her to care that I'm getting married! I'm hoping that maybe she will surprise me and buy my veil or something, but I feel kind of doubtful. Anyways, again, sorry you are going through this. My mom didn't buy my dress either. And I totally get that it's not about the cost of the dress being covered, it's about what your mom buying your dress would have meant to you. It's so hard planning a wedding without your dad, and even harder when your mom doesn't quite live up to your expectations. I really hope she surprises you by doing something else before your big day!

Thank you so much for understanding!!!!!

[Sheree10]

My parents paid for the dress. I took my mother dress shopping the first time around but then looked on my own until I found the one. I took her to the shop to show her my choice before purchasing and she came to the first fitting.

 

From the time of our engagement, we set a budget and decided that we wouldn't make assumptions that anyone would help us financially. This is one of the major reasons why we chose a DW. We have huge families and knew our guest list would be crazy if we had a wedding at home. Our families haven't offered any $ and we're okay with that. I actually like the feeling of being able to pay for it ourselves and not have to depend on others. Plus we have final say so in everything.

[josietoms]

My mum did pay for my dress or gave me a limit that her and my dad were prepared to go up to and I would pay the rest. They have also paid for the wedding package at the hotel but all the extras and bridal party outfits and AHR we are paying for. I am lucky in this sense, but if i was to get married at home my parents would have only made a donation due to the cost. I think with a DW we have to remember also that guests are paying to come to your wedding which is unusual if you are invited to a wedding - but please talk with your mum, she may be planning to pay for something else like; flowers; cake etc - it will only be worse if you dont say anything and it sounds like you have a good relationship with your mum x

[Sita&Nate]

Although my parents were very supportive of whatever we wanted to do, they were super uninvolved with the wedding planning process. However, they were generous with our wedding present, which was money. I don't think it helped that they live in another country most of the year, but I did feel a bit sad that I didn't get to go dress shopping with my mom. Yeah, there is just something about emotionally connecting with your mom when it comes to buying "the dress" for sure.

[LChavez]

I'm paying for my dress but it's being handmade by this awesome seamstress who is only charging me $500 for the dress and veil!

[Jen1407]

I will be paying for my own dress, my parents aren't in the financial position to help with the wedding. I am just thankful that my mom is coming to the wedding (dad won't travel).