What should I do?

[Willow188]

I really thought having a destination wedding would be a fun and casual celebration that would give everyone an excuse for a vacation. But nobody is excited! My FI's family kept bugging us to find an all-inclusive on St. Thomas, and we did, but now they're saying it's too expensive. Everyone is just fixating on the cost! I'm seriously ready to scrap the whole idea and go to the courthouse.

 

I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but I do, and I really thought my wedding would be different, but it's actually just making things a million times more difficult.

[KelZavs20]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willow188 I really thought having a destination wedding would be a fun and casual celebration that would give everyone an excuse for a vacation. But nobody is excited! My FI's family kept bugging us to find an all-inclusive on St. Thomas, and we did, but now they're saying it's too expensive. Everyone is just fixating on the cost! I'm seriously ready to scrap the whole idea and go to the courthouse. I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but I do, and I really thought my wedding would be different, but it's actually just making things a million times more difficult.

When is your wedding? I felt the same way in the beginning, but found that as the day got closer, excitement built up, and people that i never expected to jump on board and actually come to the wedding are! Keep your chin up and focus on planning the wedding that you and your future hubby want....in the end it will work out to be the wedding of your dreams!

[mareW9]

We decided that for the most important people - parents and siblings, we would pay travel costs... of course, that started getting out of hand as the whole list grew so we're considering moving closer to home and making this even smaller. I've constantly been thinking about the justice of the peace though!!! But, a destination wedding wasn't my dream - I liked the idea, but I mostly just wanted it to be a small wedding. So I would say you should do what you want most. If you really want a DW, try to keep it small enough to pay for the people you have to have there - or just go with some friends and do something later at home for the rest of the family?

[Princess402]

It sounds to me like you need to stop trying to make everyone else happy and take a moment to figure out what you, and your FI, really want for your wedding. If it's a DW you want, then do it regardless! I know you want your family and friends to be excited and jump on board, but ultimately you can't control what they do or think, and it's equally possible they would be just as unenthusiastic about anything you choose! So please yourself first, and the important people in your life will hopefully follow and join you in whatever you decide. Good luck

[carolina24]

i know it's hard, but my advise is to definately go with what YOU AND YOUR FI want. trust me, someone will ALWAYS have an issue with some part of the plan. if you go with your plans and stick to your guns, you'll be less stressed and you'll end up with a fantastic wedding, and you'll be surprised when all those people that b*tched about the details, end up having more fun than anyone!! good luck and be strong!

[hockeymom97]

Ditto to what Carolina said!! I think just about every bride on this forum has had the same issue. You will NEVER be able to please everyone so you need to try and remember that this is your day. I also have to add that I do think there is a balance where you can be considerate of other people's budgets/restrictions, but still have your dream DW. For example....I would love to jet off to somewhere exotic like Figi or Bora Bora....but I understand that a 15 hour flight that costs close to $2,000 may not be user friendly to our guests, lol. We made it very clear that we were having a DW right from the start of our engagement so people could start planning/saving. And then we did our best to pick a location that was easily accessible from most airports, a resort that wasn't outrageously expensive, and that's pretty much the best we could do.

 

So do what you can to be accomodating but just remember that this is your wedding and you need to follow your bliss or you'll end up regretting it and being resentful. And your wedding memories should be happy...not bitter

[MSBRANDI]

I felt the same way you did. After my original announcement of the fact that we may be having a DW wedding all I got was negativity. This caused me to consider other options such as having my wedding in our hometown. I just wanted everybody to be there which is not going to happen. My FH had to make me realize that this is about what we want. So, please do not settle for something to make everyone else happy. In the end, you will be happy with your decision to do what you and your FH want. I know I am. Also, have you considered a possibly cheaper option such as a cruise? Or just a different location in general?

[sebitasalejo]

I am having kind of the same issue. It is actually all my friends who live overseas and still live with their parents (buncha losers, but I love them lol) or simply think they can't afford it. It is a little bit costly, but not impossible to pull off.

So I would suggest to put together a presentation with a bunch of enticing pictures of the beach, the hotel, all the stuff you can do there; find out the rates, and really try to convince them they want to take a vacation there, relax, and while they're at it, attend you wedding. It is my strategy and I hope it works.

Trust me, after they come back home, they'll be raving about it for days on end. I'm still raving about a DW in Mexico I attended in February. I did not even know the couple lol.

I think the money I spent on that wedding is so much more worth it than what I will spend to attend a local wedding next July (dress, shoes, present, etc). That being said, of course you wanna make sure a DW is really what you want.

[Lindobride14]

I feel for ya. Some close family members (like my sister) were gung-ho in the beginning, said the price was a great deal, but now that it's time to start booking, it's a different story. She's complaining to everyone but me about the price, saying that she doesn't have thousands of dollars to spend on my wedding, etc.

 

It's been said a bunch of times on here, but 've learned that you really cannot please everyone. Even if you dot every I and cross every T, you will NEVER make everyone happy. There will always be someone who has something to say no matter what decision you make.

 

So the moral is: since they're going to talk crap anyway and you cannot avoid this . . . DO WHAT MAKES YOU AND YOUR FIANCE HAPPY.

 

End of story.

[sebitasalejo]

At the end those who gave the most crap about going will be sorry when they hear how amazing and fun it was to attend your wedding. They'll wish they hadn't missed it.