Jack and Jill???.....

[StephAli]

Hey all,

 

I was just wondering if anyone is having a Jack and Jill? We are having some issues regarding this issue. My future brother-in-law wants to have one for us, but after I told my sister about some of the ideas I was told that we were rude and shouldnt be asking people for money when they are coming to a destination wedding....totally understandable, but not that many people (particularly my family) are coming to the wedding...and along with that all my friends that are coming, go out partying every weekend, so why not have a "cheaper" night out and help support us?!?! Any thoughts, suggestions, opinions?? Totally wont be offended! Just trying to get some feedback....

Thanks!!

[carolina24]

why is that rude?? not at all, maybe that it's coming from you personally (as the bride). My MOH is throwing my bachelorette party and FI's BM is throwing his party. they will be on the same night and we will all meet up at the end.

I have no idea what the plans are that night, but I know that my MOH is getting money from everyone for whatever goes on that night. No one has reacted negatively, they are all super excited. Good luck

[edenl]

We had a stag and doe... I mean alot of the people that come out werent invited to the wedding or even people that we've ever met before. Its just an excuse to get some money, have some fun so I say go for it...especially if someone wants to plan it for you!

[soontobemrsdow]

i know this is a bit late but heres my two cents anyways lol...i don't think it's rude at all! I was originally worried too that people would think we were just trying to money grab but once we started telling people about everyones really happy, espically those who can't come to the wedding. They all say that now this way they can still come out and see us and support us and have a fun night and give us their well wishes before we leave to get married.

[lyndsay_h]

We're having a stag & doe 2 months before the wedding and noone questioned it at all, but they're pretty common around here.  The point of it is to raise money sure, but for us the best part is that it will be a huge party with all the people that aren't coming to the wedding.  We're trying to make sure that it will be a lot of fun for people so that they feel it was worth the money they spent - a DJ, lots of prizes, a game where people can pay to shoot paintballs at FI, beer pong etc

[Jen1407]

I don't think it is rude at all.  We decided not to have a stag and doe but I will still be having a bridal shower along with a bachelorette party and FI will be having his stag.

[lesley_mexico_bride]

okay, I guess I am out of the loop, but what is a Jack and Jill or a stag and doe??

[StephAli]

Thanks ladies!

Lesley, a J&J or Stag & Doe are like fundraisers for the couple. You may charge people entry ($10person/$15couple, sometimes upwards of $40 depending on the venue and type of event you are looking for). Usually there are games, raffles, and sometimes gambling. There is food....either appetizers or dinner (depending on the time of day you start). Cheap drinks are always a hit and a DJ. If we do end up with a J&J it would be at a legion hall, $10/pp, games, gambling, finger foods (made by us and close family/friends), cheap drinks ($2-$3), and dancing! My one bridesmaid has suggested having it as a Halloween party!!! Could be fun/different!

[lyndsay_h]

Ooh a halloween party would be awesome!  It'd be a lot more fun with a theme, you could tell people to come in costume and give a prize for the best one.  I wanted ours to be on halloween since we always have a big party then anyway but it would have been too close to the wedding.

[becassidy]

I dont think it's rude. And if they feel it is they do not have to participate I suppose. We are doing a jack and jill "shower" but its more a get together and have fun, nothing with gifts, prizes, games or anything. Were doing a winery tour around the lake and having fun.