El Dorado Royale (EDR) Brides - POST HERE!

[bluelenscaribe]

Hi Brides!!!

 

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[Jess878]

i love this idea!

[jnitschke]

I hear you girl.  One of my very best friends just told me that she didn't want to go.  Not that she couldn't... just that she didn't want to.  This was after a couple of months ago she went on about how hurt she was that she wasn't a bridesmaid.... because I'm not having bridesmaids... that she wanted to have special part in my day... so I wrote her into the ceremony doing a special reading for us, more than any bridesmaid does. ... and Friday she tells me that if she was going to take a trip she'd rather go to Ireland or India this summer, that she just doesn't care about traveling to Mexico at all.  I know I shouldn't be irritated by that, but I really am, I am asking friends to spend a decent amount of money.  But, how cruel, she just doesn't care about me enough to travel with friends to a beautiful all inclusive resort... I mean, I'm glad she didn't lie to me and say she couldn't afford it, and then plan a trip to somewhere else.  That would really make me angry, but still. All these people who supported the idea from the beginning just aren't going...and now instead of having 30ish people, I have 12.. not even half... and I'm losing money on the rooms we put deposits on too. It's a bummer... it makes me feel like I don't even care about the details like I used to, because what's the point of making it all formal and fancy if there's hardly anyone there to appreciate it.  And the crazy thing is that except for my MOH, not even my really close friends are the ones going... so it would feel weird to have them do a reading or say escort my Step-Mom down the aisle... and I just don't know what I want to do now.

 

.... and I know what all of you are going to say, the same thing I say to others... It's not about them... and It's about us, so just do what you want ... do what makes you happy... do what you think you'll like and don't do it for them... but, my heart just isn't excited about it like I was before.   All this has done is reinforce what I already knew,  The friends who really care about me can't afford to go, and the ones who can afford it just don't care.   And the even crazier thing was that in the beginning, two years ago when we picked this, all I wanted was dinner on the beach with our parents and two or three friends... then I got all wound up in the planning and the excitement of everyone... I got really excited about the idea of planning a huge party down there... and now I'm disappointed that I have to settle for the original idea, one that made me cry when I saw a video of it.... I wish I could go back to that original excitement. Maybe as it gets closer, and I stop getting "NOs" in rsvps everyday, I'll get back to being excited about it all.

Originally Posted by mstigger 

Girl you are not alone!!! I think at some point most if not all of us have had some sort of guest drama. I finally said the same thing you did, if they haven't told us they are coming by the time we make our final payment then no eats for them because I am going to spend my time  prepping for the best day of my life, not beating myself over the head to figure out who's going to show up!! 

[Maybeachbride]

Originally Posted by jnitschke 

 

I hear you girl.  One of my very best friends just told me that she didn't want to go.  Not that she couldn't... just that she didn't want to.  This was after a couple of months ago she went on about how hurt she was that she wasn't a bridesmaid.... because I'm not having bridesmaids... that she wanted to have special part in my day... so I wrote her into the ceremony doing a special reading for us, more than any bridesmaid does. ... and Friday she tells me that if she was going to take a trip she'd rather go to Ireland or India this summer, that she just doesn't care about traveling to Mexico at all.  I know I shouldn't be irritated by that, but I really am, I am asking friends to spend a decent amount of money.  But, how cruel, she just doesn't care about me enough to travel with friends to a beautiful all inclusive resort... I mean, I'm glad she didn't lie to me and say she couldn't afford it, and then plan a trip to somewhere else.  That would really make me angry, but still. All these people who supported the idea from the beginning just aren't going...and now instead of having 30ish people, I have 12.. not even half... and I'm losing money on the rooms we put deposits on too. It's a bummer... it makes me feel like I don't even care about the details like I used to, because what's the point of making it all formal and fancy if there's hardly anyone there to appreciate it.  And the crazy thing is that except for my MOH, not even my really close friends are the ones going... so it would feel weird to have them do a reading or say escort my Step-Mom down the aisle... and I just don't know what I want to do now.

 

.... and I know what all of you are going to say, the same thing I say to others... It's not about them... and It's about us, so just do what you want ... do what makes you happy... do what you think you'll like and don't do it for them... but, my heart just isn't excited about it like I was before.   All this has done is reinforce what I already knew,  The friends who really care about me can't afford to go, and the ones who can afford it just don't care.   And the even crazier thing was that in the beginning, two years ago when we picked this, all I wanted was dinner on the beach with our parents and two or three friends... then I got all wound up in the planning and the excitement of everyone... I got really excited about the idea of planning a huge party down there... and now I'm disappointed that I have to settle for the original idea, one that made me cry when I saw a video of it.... I wish I could go back to that original excitement. Maybe as it gets closer, and I stop getting "NOs" in rsvps everyday, I'll get back to being excited about it all.

I can relate to you girls so much.  My good friend who has more than enough to go said that they are just not fancy people.  But yet they live in a HUGE house in a nice part of town?? Another issue I am having is 3 of my good friends who wanted to go are pregnant and can't fly.  Then another actually booked the rooms and her work would not let her off???  I keep feeling it is one thing after another.  EVEN my FI's mother is not coming AFTER I offered to pay for her room????  I just don't really understand bc everyone sounded so excited until I booked it.....  I did not do RSVPs bc I didnt want to have to see the No's all the time.  That being said I am trying to concentrate on those who are coming and making their time special.  That is all I can do!  Sometimes it is hard to be around some of the other girls though bc they act so excited about it but could not make the effort to go.....

[jnitschke]

Originally Posted by Maybeachbride 

 

I can relate to you girls so much.  My good friend who has more than enough to go said that they are just not fancy people.  But yet they live in a HUGE house in a nice part of town?? Another issue I am having is 3 of my good friends who wanted to go are pregnant and can't fly.  Then another actually booked the rooms and her work would not let her off???  I keep feeling it is one thing after another.  EVEN my FI's mother is not coming AFTER I offered to pay for her room????  I just don't really understand bc everyone sounded so excited until I booked it.....  I did not do RSVPs bc I didnt want to have to see the No's all the time.  That being said I am trying to concentrate on those who are coming and making their time special.  That is all I can do!  Sometimes it is hard to be around some of the other girls though bc they act so excited about it but could not make the effort to go.....

 

I just came up with a get excited solution... Since I'm home by myself today, I sat in my wedding dress all morning... then I decided... to hell with those that can't come... I'll spend the extra money on spoiling the shit out the people who are coming.  I went to Target and they've got sun hats and beach bags for $3 each.  I'm buying those and getting Audrey Hepburn style glasses and I found online beach sarongs.  The 6 ladies who come and I will be styling!  Todd also suggested that we pay for a trip for everyone with the money we're saving on meals, since we'll be spending so much less.  So I think we're gonna offer to take everyone out on a catamaran on the day after the wedding...and we'll still be in budget.  So HA!  take that people who don't care about us...

[murmel]

Originally Posted by jnitschke 

 

 

I just came up with a get excited solution... Since I'm home by myself today, I sat in my wedding dress all morning... then I decided... to hell with those that can't come... I'll spend the extra money on spoiling the shit out the people who are coming.  I went to Target and they've got sun hats and beach bags for $3 each.  I'm buying those and getting Audrey Hepburn style glasses and I found online beach sarongs.  The 6 ladies who come and I will be styling!  Todd also suggested that we pay for a trip for everyone with the money we're saving on meals, since we'll be spending so much less.  So I think we're gonna offer to take everyone out on a catamaran on the day after the wedding...and we'll still be in budget.  So HA!  take that people who don't care about us...

Good for you for looking at the positive! And a special trip with your guests in your styling sunglasses and sarongs, will be a highlight for everyone

[LKocelko]

Oh ladies. Is is possible for me to pick different future in-laws? Haha. You know, we went the DW route because we figured it would be easy and stress free. WRONG! Sometimes I think if I had known back in October what I know now, we wouldn't have gone this route. My FI and I would have eloped and had an amazing vacation/ceremony in Tahiti or something. It makes me wonder why I am bothering to spend the time, energy, and money on this for our family, when our family (aka HIS family) isn't seeming to make this a priority or be interested. I'm so tired of the lame excuses from everyone and wishy washy attitude. We decided to do it this way because our family made it seem so important they were included, but now it's like, what was the point?! I \

 

Sorry, it's been a rough couple of days. Hopefully my shower Saturday will run smoothly (yeah right) and get me excited again. I can only hope that when May 11th comes, none of this will matter and will all be a distant memory.

 

Thank god my family lives closer than his! I know what you will all say, and that everyone's been there, but sometimes I just need a good vent session. And I don't like to lay it on my FI too much, since it's his family.

[AllieH]

ok Lindsey, I have a deal for you - my parents can be your in-laws (they are pretty cool, for the most part), if you're parents will be MY in-laws hang in there girl. focus on you & your FI, and those adorable dogs!!

Originally Posted by LKocelko 

Oh ladies. Is is possible for me to pick different future in-laws? Haha. You know, we went the DW route because we figured it would be easy and stress free. WRONG! Sometimes I think if I had known back in October what I know now, we wouldn't have gone this route. My FI and I would have eloped and had an amazing vacation/ceremony in Tahiti or something. It makes me wonder why I am bothering to spend the time, energy, and money on this for our family, when our family (aka HIS family) isn't seeming to make this a priority or be interested. I'm so tired of the lame excuses from everyone and wishy washy attitude. We decided to do it this way because our family made it seem so important they were included, but now it's like, what was the point?! I \

 

Sorry, it's been a rough couple of days. Hopefully my shower Saturday will run smoothly (yeah right) and get me excited again. I can only hope that when May 11th comes, none of this will matter and will all be a distant memory.

 

Thank god my family lives closer than his! I know what you will all say, and that everyone's been there, but sometimes I just need a good vent session. And I don't like to lay it on my FI too much, since it's his family.

 

aw girls, I'm sorry! people just plain suck sometimes. I don't know what it is about weddings - destination or otherwise - that just truly brings out the worst in people. We've all been in your shoes and dealt with various degrees of what you guys are going through. It doesn't get more fun to deal with. You really just have to put your own mindset first - you're celebrating, whom ever chooses to go will be there, and those that don't, it's their loss!

Originally Posted by jnitschke 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maybeachbride 

I can relate to you girls so much.  My good friend who has more than enough to go said that they are just not fancy people.  But yet they live in a HUGE house in a nice part of town?? Another issue I am having is 3 of my good friends who wanted to go are pregnant and can't fly.  Then another actually booked the rooms and her work would not let her off???  I keep feeling it is one thing after another.  EVEN my FI's mother is not coming AFTER I offered to pay for her room????  I just don't really understand bc everyone sounded so excited until I booked it.....  I did not do RSVPs bc I didnt want to have to see the No's all the time.  That being said I am trying to concentrate on those who are coming and making their time special.  That is all I can do!  Sometimes it is hard to be around some of the other girls though bc they act so excited about it but could not make the effort to go.....

I just came up with a get excited solution... Since I'm home by myself today, I sat in my wedding dress all morning... then I decided... to hell with those that can't come... I'll spend the extra money on spoiling the shit out the people who are coming.  I went to Target and they've got sun hats and beach bags for $3 each.  I'm buying those and getting Audrey Hepburn style glasses and I found online beach sarongs.  The 6 ladies who come and I will be styling!  Todd also suggested that we pay for a trip for everyone with the money we're saving on meals, since we'll be spending so much less.  So I think we're gonna offer to take everyone out on a catamaran on the day after the wedding...and we'll still be in budget.  So HA!  take that people who don't care about us...

[LKocelko]

Originally Posted by AllieH 

 

ok Lindsey, I have a deal for you - my parents can be your in-laws (they are pretty cool, for the most part), if you're parents will be MY in-laws hang in there girl. focus on you & your FI, and those adorable dogs!!

 

aw girls, I'm sorry! people just plain suck sometimes. I don't know what it is about weddings - destination or otherwise - that just truly brings out the worst in people. We've all been in your shoes and dealt with various degrees of what you guys are going through. It doesn't get more fun to deal with. You really just have to put your own mindset first - you're celebrating, whom ever chooses to go will be there, and those that don't, it's their loss!

 

Very true. As my Mom just told me, "If they don't want to be there, they're not wanted."

 

Just hard to remind yourself at times. I just need to get better at learning to accept it, seeing as his family has always been dysfunctional, and now they'll be in my life forever!

[Jess878]

Just try to keep in mind it's your day and no one can take that away from you. Plan for you and the guest that are coming and have a blast with them and try not to think about the ppl that can't or won't be going. Originally I had planned for a few guest, just my immediate family but then when we sent the save the dates I got a lot of positive feedback n many ppl that I thought wouldn't be going said they really were excited to be there. Well to date only the immediate family has booked, it bummed me out a little b/c I had gotten excited about seeing the others I hadn't expected but looks like many are probably not going. So back to square one but its fine we will all have a blast regardless.