Make Up Your Mind!!!

[mnh1983]

We asked FI's young cousins back in February if they would be our flower girl and ring bearer. Their parents confirmed it, and so in March I asked them to give us estimates of their sizes for September so I could go ahead and look for clothes. Since there were lots of cute dresses in the stores for spring/Easter, I wanted to go ahead and get one. I even found one that I really liked.

 

They tell us at that point that they aren't sure if the kids will do it. We asked them to think about it for a week or two and let us know.

 

We heard from them TODAY. Two months later. They've decided to do it. This is after trying to get in touch with them, not hearing, and then deciding ourselves that it wasn't worth the trouble if they weren't going to respond. Oh, and they still didn't give me the sizes.

 

I'm so tempted to just email them back and tell them thanks for considering but since we couldn't get in touch with them, we are considering other options. I know FI's mother would kill me if I did it, but I can't have them going back and forth and not calling me back for two months. Would that be too bitchy of me?

[sungoddess_08]

No it wouldn't be bitchy -- but I would be firm with them and call them to make sure they are 100% in - have they booked yet? Luckily dresses are still out, cute spring ones so you should be fine. But I would just confront them (politely but firm) and say that you need to know for sure so you can go out and buy their outfits -- and you need the sizes.

Unfortuantely, sometimes people don't understand the pressure of organizing a destination wedding, and making sure everything is ready to go.

 

I would confirm they have booked before I do anything though.

[svetayasofiya]

Uhm... sorry but that would be bitchy of you...... *you asked!

 

Listen... I guess it all depends on what look you are going for, but what the kids are wearing should not matter that much. I dunno... for me, it was just really important to have my two nephews be joint ring bearers. They are 5 and 9. I never even asked them until a few days before... because I didn't want them to get all nervous and I wanted them to be comfortable doing it. It turns out my sister-in-law had chosen the most perfect outfits for them!

[krizstyling]

I'm sure others will disagree with me but once again, I KNOW it may be rude...but again. THIS IS YOUR DAY. I think if more brides thought about the wedding being about them and their FI and their husband a lot of the bad feelings etc wouldn't come up during the wedding.

 

I would definitely call them and let them know you are considering other options. You don't have to be rude about it but just be honest. You couldn't sit around and wait and you guys came up with alternatives, that's the truth. What happens if you say yes and then two months down the line they still aren't sure whether they want to do it or not?

 

I would go with your gut on this hun. Good luck!

[frannkie]

I don't think that's bitchy at all. This is your wedding and if they don't have the courtesy to contact until 2 months later I would just say sorry I have made other arrangements since I didn't hear back from you.

[Sapphire723]

If it were a bridesmaid or someone who you were actually counting on, I would say go ahead and tell them off. But with kids, you never really know if they're going down the aisle until after they've gone down the aisle, so keep the invite open and don't lose sleep if they bail on you.

 

I think you could get away with saying "Well, since I hadn't heard from you for months, and I still don't know what size to get, I probably won't have time to go get the outfits myself. Here's what I'm envisioning; please go pick it up."

[mnh1983]

I know that I asked them and that they are kids, but I honestly think a lot of the indecision lies with the parents and not with the kids. If they don't want the kids to do it, it really isn't that big of a deal to me. What frustrates me is the lack of communication from them. I leave messages, and I don't hear back for weeks at a time!!! I left them another message a few days ago saying that I'd like the kids' sizes, but if I don't hear soon, I am going to take your advice LeAnne and see if they can get it themselves.