Should bridesmaids expect the bride/ groom to pay for thier dress?

[ChicagoPT]

I paid for my bm's dresses. I only have 3 though. I figured since they were all spending a lot of money for traveling I should help them out. I really dont think its written in stone though. They were all very surprised.

[mnh1983]

I've always paid for my dresses when I've been a bridesmaid. I think that is pretty normal, but if you want to pay, I'm sure your wedding party wouldn't argue.

[mjm]

Thank you for the replies Ladies!- I typed out a long vent and then got timed out and lost it all- so I will take that as a sign. My BM expected me to pay for the dress and is not able/ willing to contribute. I will pay for the dress as I have no option but it has caused upset where there did not need to be any.

 

I understand why brides turn into bridezillas and I intend to let her out a bit more often as people seem to feel that a wedding is a great opportunity to ofload thier issues/ comments/ on to the bride. My name is bridezilla- hear me roar!

 

Thanks again ladies

[CdnBeatPrincess]

I paid for my dress. I thought that you are supposed too. In return from the bride I got a lovely pearl necklace & bracelet. So it was a nice gift in return for making the purchase.

 

Sorry you are having a difficult time with this. Hope everything works out for you and your friend. Wishing more happy times for you.

[josietoms]

I paid for our 2 BM dresses as a way of thanks for travelling to Mexico as its quite an expense from London. But there is nothing set in stone its just a nice gesture if you do or if there is something specific you want them to wear. Here in the UK it seems more to be the norm that you do pay for the BM dresses.

[cjb0arder13]

I'm asking my BMs to wear a dress/sundress, whatever they want. I'm not coordinating colors, I'm not making any requirements about fabric/length/anything. My wedding is gonna be super laid back and I just want everyone to have a good time!

 

That being said, if I did decide on a color or exact dress, I would expect my BMs to pay for themselves unless one of them wasn't able to.

[mjm]

Thanks Ladies for your advice- so very helpful.

[svetayasofiya]

Nothing new coming from me, but I did not pay for their dresses. They didn't seem to expect it either and I apologized. My main reason for doing a DW was to keep things simple and inexpensive. I wish I could have paid for their dresses, but I didn't. I got them a cute necklace as a gift and I plan on making a nice digital album for them of all our pictures together from that day.

I am not made of money, but it's easier for me now to make gestures like the album, but at the time of planning the thought of spending another $300-$500 to cover dresses was just really stressful.

I gave them free reign over colour and style and price, but I had the final veto. I think they chose well and looked really cute. It wasn't a colour I would have originally picked but it worked so well in the end (especially after getting married on a grey cloudy day!).

 

Don't lose any sleep over it.

[svetayasofiya]

oh! and I have only been asked to be a BM once and in the end was un able to attend (I moved out of Province)... but I was fully expected to pay for the dress... and it wasn't my choice what dress I'd wear in the end either. On top of it, the dress cost $350!!! + alterations and this was like 7 years ago.................. that being said, had I stayed in Province I would have gladly remained her BM and paid the astronomical price of a dress I would never had worn again...

She is still one of my bestest friends and I love her dearly. True friendship won't put a price tag on their love.

[bsf&jpg]

I paid only because its family, (niece and sister) and its a DW so I feel its the least I can do.