RSVP's .... non-responders

[Gazziegirl]

I am going through the same thing. My best friend whos suppose to be my mator of honor said she was going and no she said she not sure cause of the cost since she has to go with her husband and 3 kids. Well the cost on flight tickets went from 400.00 to 700.00.. If she booked 6 months ago she would have gotten a great deal.. I wish she told me in the beginning.

[TheFutureMrs.Sears]

As I read your vent, I keep saying to myself this is ME!!!!! All of your concerns are mine as well. I gave an RSVP date of April 1st for our July wedding because I wanted the month of April to be a grace period. My husband said the same thing your FI said about not calling people and just assuming that they are not coming. But I forced him to call his friends and good thing because he friend RSVP'd yesterday for 2 people and stated that since he was booked and knew he was coming he forgot to RSVP!!! And we are still waiting for some who are still on the "MAYBE" list.

 

UGH I am so frustrated even though I know that this happens with everyone who is planning a wedding but because I want to plan for my OOT bags and my favors I wanted to start things now so that it doesn't hit our pockets all at once!!

 

I can't wait for this part to be over and we are in Punta Cana celebrating!!

 

Good Luck and I feel your pain!

[KarenM]

Yep, we had that happen too. I'm sure everyone does to some extent. I'm with you - why the hell can't people just send it back? I think sometimes people just don't want to have to face up to the fact that they can't go and others are just lazy.

 

Anyway, I sent one mass email to all of the people who hadn't rsvp'd the day after the deadline just asking them to let us know either way what their intentions were. If they sent it in & we just hadn't received it yet I asked them to disregard the email. We did get several no's that way and it nudged the others to go ahead & book. Ours was right after the holidays though so I know it was bad timing and people could easily forget, which was why I didn't mind sending out that one email. But calling everyone was out of the question!

 

Good luck!

[Lady_Di]

My RSVP cut off date was April 1st. I think we only got maybe 10-15 back. We sent out 70 invites. We put stamps on them and everything. People are facking lazy!

 

We didn't follow up with people because if they really wanted to go, they would have let us know. I had put a note that said something like "please RSVP to ensure a dinner plate for your and your guests".

 

So we're not bothering to call people or whatever. It's their losses if they DO show up at the wedding with no seat or dinner! =)

[~Stephanie~]

Same boat here! I hardly got any back and honestly I am over it. Those few that are booked are all that I am counting and I am not reaching out to anyone. They have known for a year and a half that I was doing a DW, there was an STD and an invitation. They don't deserve my time and energy. Just embrace those friends and family that are going and get focused on finishing your details!

[LadyTrunck]

Chalk another one up for us- I'm going through the same thing- but with only three couples. One RSVP'd, has not booked, and I have a feeling she will not. The other two, we really thought would come- oh well! One that really irks me though, is a DW we went to for FI's friends last May- and they have not said replied to our April 1st cutoff.

 

In one hand, I want to go with a majority on this one, and just not reach out- but on the other hand, I don't want people to be without favors... I'll let FI decide what he wants to do since HE will be reaching out to his own friends.

 

I know it's been said time and time again, but REALLY people? Especially you that we paid an arm and a leg for to hit up the FL keys last year and booked way far in advance AND still sent the RSVP!

[*Krista*]

I have a similar problem, except with mine, I have about 10 "maybes" who are saying that they are just waiting to find out about jobs, time off work, etc. I think this is a crock of sh*t, and they are just avoiding saying "no", or they aren't being honest with themselves that they don't have the time or money to come. I'm not sure what exactly the problem is, but I've decided that because FI and I can't plan what wedding package, oots bags, dinner, etc (basically we can't plan 50% of our wedding) without final numbers, I'm just going to send an email to people and let them know that if they haven't booked by May 21st - that's about 6 weeks before the wedding date and before we leave for Mexico - then I counting them out. I have to start planning, and by that time, the resort needs to know who my guests are and I need to know how many people are coming so I can plan details. I think by sending that cutoff date, that people will either buckle down and make a decision and stick to it, or they will back out for sure and finally say the "no" that they have been avoiding.

[hat0112]

I have a feeling I will have this issue too. We just sent our invitations out 4/2 and have a RSVP date of 6/30/10. I know that everyone will not RSVP and it will drive me nuts for the same reasons everyone said. It is an addressed stamped envelope and all you have to do is check yes or no.

 

We will not be calling anyone if they don’t RSVP. If they are too lazy to send it back then that is their problem and we are going to count them as a no.

[carolina24]

i think its best if your mom or MOH call everyone on the list that hasn't RSVP'd buy the deadline and explain to them that the resort needs a final headcount. that way they are forced to tell you one way or the other. that's what we'll be doing.

[tracy0716]

Ahhh the stamps! I hadn't even considered my beautiful RSVP stamps! My mom is going to be so pissed...she paid for them and paid almost double to get beautiful beach stamps from zazzle. Nice to know we're not alone...I wish people were more considerate.