BM/MOH Advice Please!

L&C In Love · March 3, 2010

Last night I was finalizing my Bridesmaid cards and I still can't quite make a decision on what to do.

My sister and I are close but not nearly as close as my friends. I am going to ask her to be a bridesmaid and maybe ask my good friend to be the MOH.

I don't want to hurt anyones's feelings and I don't think that my friend could handle the task a MOH is "suuposed" to do, as I am an organizer and she isn't at all, so I was also thinking of just asking them all of be BM and not have a MOH at all.

BUT then my FI kind of wants to ask one of his friends to be a best man, will that be weird if he has that and I don't have a MOH??

He said he woulld just go without a bestman and have them all be GM but I can tell he would prefer the best man situation.

I could really use some advice on what to do, I need to send out the "Will you be my bridesmaid" card soon so I am giving them a lot of notice. Any suggestions would be so awesome, my brain hurts!

Shakara · March 3, 2010

Dont worry... just relax. Since you don't think your fried would do a good job as an MOH do you think your sister would? If so I think you should go with her because I don't think anyone including your close friend would be offended if you chose your sister instead. If you don't think she'll do a good job either than I think thats fine for you too go with all BM. Is it a small or big wedding?

litl_april · March 3, 2010

Even if your H2B selects a best man, I see nothing wrong with you having all your ladies be bridesmaids. I had a similar situation, where my best friend is very much so my best friend and I'm much closer to her than my sister. However, I knew my mom and sister would be very upset (and make it clear to me) if I selected a MOH and it wasn't my sister. I only had 3 girls total, so I went with no MOH. I had thought about having both of them as MOH but with only one other girl, I didn't feel that was right. I even worked it out so that each had their own "special" role. One stood by me at the ceremony, another one signed the license, and the third sat by me for the reception! So I say go with what you feel is best for you!

Stacy015 · March 3, 2010

I think you can do whatever you want

If you want all BM - go for it. He can still have a best man. I keep running into things like this and I just keep telling myself - there really isn't anything traditional about having a DW anyways. So I can really go with anything.

I have two sisters and couldn't decide - so I'm having 2 MOH. That's another option? They are both younger & would probably prefer to share some responsibility anyways

PVBride2010 · March 3, 2010

OMG i had this same problem but my BFF ended getting married so I made her Matron of Honor & my sister Maid of Honor but my BFF really lived up to the title with being there for me! I think whatever you decide to do, they both will understand, hopefully

Knbell22 · March 6, 2010

I was JUST in a very similar situation...I wanted my sister to be more than just a BM but I also wanted my BFF to be my MOH just because she is just like a sister to me and I always envisioned her by my side in my wedding so I struggled with the decision for quite some time until I started thinking and realized that there is no right or wrong way to do it so I decided to have my sister as my Matron of Honor and my BFF as my Maid of Honor. It works out perfectly because technically the Matron of Honor is the one that is married and she is My FI is still just having one BM and I am not worried about it one bit, in the end there are still the same # guys/girls. It also works well because my sister is the super party planner/creative genius and my BFF not so much..so they can nicely balance eachother out and help with the duties.

All in all, I 100% agree with the other ladies...you can have your wedding party and ceremony any way you please...Don't let the stress of it get you, you will be relieved when the decision is over! I know I was!

Best of luck