Destination Wedding--selfish?

[donutdjn]

i feel for you - you have to do what is right for you and not keeping others happy x

[MDLady]

Quote:

Originally Posted by saza175 Hey everyone...after the "selfish comments" now I'm hearing plenty of negativity about the drug war going on in Mexico.... my fiance is letting these people get in his head too. UGHHH!!!! I never knew going to paradise for a family member's wedding could create so much drama and negativity! wowwww.... Also, I'm hearing all the talk about how we're not going to get any gifts blah blah blah because people are spending so much just to go. I'm losing it LOL

Oh yeah, I was told about the gifts as well. But honestly, I didn't care about the gifts as long as I had my family and friends there. I think some people just can't think outside of the box and what you "should" and are "supposed" to do.

[giraffexx]

Quote:

Originally Posted by saza175 Also, I'm hearing all the talk about how we're not going to get any gifts blah blah blah because people are spending so much just to go. I'm losing it LOL

My answer to that when I get that comment is that I am not getting married to make money or get gifts, I am getting married because I love my fiance and want to spend the rest of my life with him. That shuts people up pretty quickly!

[Leez309]

I've always known that I wanted to get married on a beach. My standard reply to people who have issues with it is that FI and I will be on the beach this time next year getting married. We would love to have you there with us, but even if no one comes FI and I will be on the beach this time next year getting married!

[Missjacks]

Quote:

Originally Posted by saza175 Hey everyone...after the "selfish comments" now I'm hearing plenty of negativity about the drug war going on in Mexico.... my fiance is letting these people get in his head too. UGHHH!!!! I never knew going to paradise for a family member's wedding could create so much drama and negativity! wowwww.... Also, I'm hearing all the talk about how we're not going to get any gifts blah blah blah because people are spending so much just to go. I'm losing it LOL

Thats why FI and I purposely did not have a registry so guests wouldn't complain about having to give gifts AND attend the wedding. We just said their presence at the wedding would be a gift alone. Its funny how people that have been to a DW that we invited are soo excited to come along, and those that never been to a DW are the ones complaining. I think its the fear of the unknown.

[Hunieduew]

Hi Megan,

 

You said you sent out 200 invitations--that is about how many I will be sending out. I know 20 people ended up going, but how many of the others sent you an envelope (if you don't mind me asking). Just wondering...

 

Thanks!!

[CanadianLindsey]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DAP8479 I am glad to see that I am not the only one having all these issues. I am the last of my immediate family to get married. My two other sisters got beautiful expensive weddings at home. My parents have told my FI and me that they are tapped out. We didn’t want to go broke over a wedding so we decided to do a destination wedding. My two best friends (who I wanted to be bridesmaids) have told me that they will not be attending due to their financial situations. My parents are also not excited over the idea. Everyone on my side is giving me grief over the cost. I feel so sad that my FI has so many supportive people on his end and on my side I am getting so much resistance. I wanted to call the whole thing off but I read this thread and I now know the most important thing is that a DW is what my FI and I want and that’s all that counts!

Good for you!!
My FI is in the same boat as you, his parents are the only family that can come. But we have always wanted to do a DW and now a lot of our recently married friends are saying how they wish they would've had a DW instead of giving into the pressure to do the traditional wedding. Just be selfish for once!!!

[Mere]

We are getting married-just the two of us-so I don't have to worry about making everyone happy. FMIL wants an AHR-she can have it as long as she plans it and pays for it. The AHR will be for FI's family and FMIL's friends-this made her happy-whew! I have always wanted to run off to a beach-just the two of us.

[ScarletSass]

It is a wonderful thing to opt for a destination wedding BUT it is an AWFUL thing to guilt people into going who otherwise cannot afford it! It is also awful to tell someone one price point and have them agree to go and then opt for a destination wedding that is DOUBLE what you have told your guests it will be. It is selfish to think that any and all invited guests will come and doubly selfish if doing so to try to get your trip for free. A destination wedding is something that should be done with no expectation by the bride and groom to their invited guests.

[Wedding Time]

A friend of ours had a simple party with these guys http://www.discoinsussex.co.uk before they left, so families and friends dont feel left out.  The whole party + buffet / venue was about £1000 at a local venue, they got some prezzies and no drama, then went to Barbados with immediate family.  Worked out cheaper.....and kept most happy.