Today was a rough day…

[hockeymom97]

I just got off the phone with the airline and cancelled our flight reservations and sent an email to our TA confirming that we need to cancel our resort reservation as well. The wedding is officially postponed

 

So as some of you may or may now know, my mom hasn’t been in the best of health over the past couple of months, and I think I may have posted something about how the wedding planning was kind of stalled because my mind was on other things. Back in Feb my dad called to tell me that they found a mass in her colon…but he refused to use the word cancer…it was just a mass in her colon. And she’s young too…she’s only 60. Well she had surgery back in Feb to remove the mass…..then after surgery, one of her lungs collapsed and they had to put a tube in her chest…when they put the tube in they found spots on her lung….and then when they started to do more testing, they discovered that the cancer had spread to her brain. My dad was finally able to call it what it is on Feb 18th. It’s stage IV brain cancer and pretty advanced. Until they found the tumors in her brain, I kept thinking that she can fight this and everything will be better, and I still believed that my parents would still be able to travel to my wedding. But now reality has set in and while I’m still trying to be optimistic, I’m also realistic as well, and I know there’s no way she’s going to be able to travel. At first she tried to tell me that we should still go without them and have the wedding because she knew the beach wedding was what I always wanted, but there’s just no way I can even think about that right now. My dad told me the same thing – to go and have the wedding I always wanted. But in my mind, the wedding is the least of my concerns right now. We have no idea what’s going to happen day to day…she’s had to go back into the hospital once so far for a pulmonary embolism; she just started radiation treatment last week, and will need to start chemo once the radiation is done. Who knows what side effects she will experience and how the treatment will progress. So I told my parents I was postponing the wedding and that all my mom needed to focus on right now was herself. And that I would be here to help take care of her and help my dad with whatever they need. While I know in my heart I’m making the right decision, it’s still really disappointing to have to cancel our plans and postpone the wedding.

 

I may still check in from time to time, as I have my fingers crossed that I’ll still be able to have my beach wedding one day, and I’ve met some really great girls on this site as well But it will probably be sporadic since we really don’t know what the future holds for us right now. I’m so grateful to all of you for sharing your ideas and opinions and I don’t think there’s anywhere else I could have been so inspired! You ladies are so creative, thoughtful and supportive…so thank you for everything!

[SusieQ]

I have no words that could ease the pain you must be feeling.... Please feel the big hug I am sending you... You're in my thoughts and prayers...

[Erika J]

Heather- I am so sorry, but I have to say you maintain a wonderful attitude throught your post above. You are truly a strong and caring woman to make the choice you did and have such a realistic attitude on that decision.

 

Look forward to continue to see you around on the other random threads, I am sure you still have a lot to offer other brides.

[stacey]

Heather, I honestly dont know what do say. Except I am so sorry that you and your family is going through this. You and your family are in my thoughts.

[Jess3414]

I'm so sorry to hear this. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

[labloom]

So sorry to hear this. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[btn1091]

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this... i wish you all the best in dealing with this!! You are in my thoughts and prayers!!

[hockeymom97]

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers....I think the first few days were the hardest after I found out about the brain tumors. All I could do is cry...and I mean cry A LOT. I found out on a Thursday night and as silly as I am, I actually thought I could go into work the following day on Fri. WTF was I thinking? I went in and about every hour I was in the bathroom just bawling my eyes out until someone told me that I had no business being at work and to just go home. I could barely funtion the rest of the weekend. The worst was when I took my son to visit my mom that weekend because I wanted him to at least see her before she started the radiation and chemo and started losing her hair, losing weight, etc....it was really rough knowing what was lying ahead for all of us. I can't even imagine how scared she is. Each day gets a little better, but I think most of it rides on how well my mom is doing that particular day. When she has a bad day, I have a bad day. It really hurts knowing she may not be around much longer.

 

But thank you for letting me talk about it....and sorry for being a downer...I know this should be a happy forum

[*Meagan*]

Heather, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so truly sorry that you have to go through this. You seem in high spirits and that takes a lot but I think it will help you through this rough time. You can always find us on here for support and strength.

[**~Linda~**]

Im so sorry to hear your going through this. Keeping you guys in my prayers..