Issues/Challenges with FI

[Eliana]

Oh I have to just say something to someone about my FI!

I love him with all my heart and he is the best man in the universe when he wants too! But last night, I went to bed being so maddddd at him for calling me selfish... When he said that to me, I asked him, give me one specific example or any examples or things I do that make you feel that I'm that way to make sure I can change them!!!!!!!!!!!! and he said "well stop thinking about yourself". I'm like that's not an exampleeee and that's not something that's going to help me change what upsets him.... how am I supposed to stop thinking about myself at the end of the day, I'm the only one that has to live with my mind talking non stop and if I don't do all I want or need or desire on life NOONE else will do them for me...what makes me so mad is that when we have a fight or I get depressed....I eat like a pig and get so fat!!! (I've gained 30 lbs since 2008!!!)

I'm just so frustrated with him right now... I'm not even sure what to do or what to change to make him realize I'm not selfish... I do everything he asks from me and I always go above and behond for his family as I don't have any family here (all of them live in Argentina).... I'm just not sure what to change...help...

[~Nicole~]

I'm sure this will blow over as it sounds like a typical irrational petty argument. The fact that he can't give you a specific example likely means that he's just saying it to make you mad. I do that sometimes, and my DH does it to me sometimes too! So I wouldn't freak out about it. I'd just ignore him when he's being immature and picking ridiculous arguments. If he's anything like my DH, the more he KNOWS something is bothering you, the more he'll do it lol. So pretend it doesn't bother you is my advice lol. Good luck!

[Eliana]

Thank you for the advice... I will try to ignore it maybe that will work.

[**~Linda~**]

I don think that you have anything to worry about really. Sometimes people just tend to say crap for the hell of it. Maybe because they have had a crappy day or just because they have nothing else to say and for arguments sake decide to talk SHHHIAT!... Don't stress over it and try and let it go...

[BachataBride]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Nicole~ I'm sure this will blow over as it sounds like a typical irrational petty argument. The fact that he can't give you a specific example likely means that he's just saying it to make you mad. I do that sometimes, and my DH does it to me sometimes too! So I wouldn't freak out about it. I'd just ignore him when he's being immature and picking ridiculous arguments. If he's anything like my DH, the more he KNOWS something is bothering you, the more he'll do it lol. So pretend it doesn't bother you is my advice lol. Good luck!

I'm with you Nikki!
DH and I argue/pick fights or stupid shit all the time. We'll call each other names, or nit-pick every fault (real or made up!). It's so stupid really...and causes more drama then we need in our lives. But hey...it happens.

If he can't give you an example, then he's full of shit. Just ignore him! Good luck hun!

[Loveisintheair]

I agree with the other ladies as well that it is probably just a moment and he will be loving on you tonight :-)

 

But also take some time and reflect to see if you can think of your own examples that he may see as selfish. Marriage is a selfless act. I promise I only speak this because I went through it with my FI. He would tell me I was selfish but I thought he was selfish. But when I thought about it and reflected..I was a little bit selfish and still am in many ways. Once I realized it I was able to change it up some.

 

All that to say most of the time its nothing but miss an opportunity to make your relationship better.