going baby crazy and not even pregnant or close to being

[purpleshells]

I know!! I know someone whos been through it as well, she was telling me that 25% of all girls go through a miscarriage.....thats 1 out of 4 of us here that will go through it.......thats so high......

 

we are here for you!

[svetayasofiya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by purpleshells I know!! I know someone whos been through it as well, she was telling me that 25% of all girls go through a miscarriage.....thats 1 out of 4 of us here that will go through it.......thats so high...... we are here for you!

Well, hopefully I increased all your odds of NOT having one. It's been two weeks exactly today, and I am doing MUCH better. It almost all seems a bit like a dream (the pregnancy) or a nightmare (the mc). I am really looking forward to getting my period so we can start again! Let's just pray I don't have to go through this again. It's very draining...

Ok, this thread is officially now back on track to happy baby planning!!

[Natie1971]

Happy baby planning!!! I am glad you're getting back on track. Enjoy! Have fun! Don't let it stress you too much. It happened to me twice and I was a wreck (to put it lightly), but it all worked out. My kids are now 18 and 14.

[Jen1407]

Happy baby planning, hope everything works out for you

[hat0112]

After a discussion with the FI I was wondering what everyone was planning with the babies involving day care and work. Are you planning on staying home and watching the kids? Are you going to work and put the kids in day care? Are you going to work and have a family member watch them? Are you going to work part time and have them in a day care or with a family member part time?

 

I was never fond of day cares (no offense to anyone) and I always just figured I would either stay home or if we needed the money I would have my mom watch the kids. Well we can’t afford for me to stay home and my FI is dead set against my mom watching the kids (long story). I was just wondering what everyone’s thoughts were.

 

Thanks.

[RonNMel]

I am totally for day cares. I think it helps kids learn to socialize (be around other kids, sharing, rules of living with others, to learn to trust and respect adults outside the family) and makes for a much smoother transition to kindergarten and school later on. I think it's all about choosing the right day care, the one that fits your parenting style. To me, that would be one that brings the kids outside to play often, that has a variety of activities during the day, and where they don't spend too much time in front of the tv.

 

I also am lucky in that I am a teacher and I'm allowed to return to work not completely full time. I can either choose to work 3-4 days a week, or get extra days off to take when I need during the year. Of course that comes with a smaller salary, but it's a good compromise to not working at all.

[svetayasofiya]

I totally agree with RonNMel. (funny we are both from Mtl! haha) Obviously I would love to be able to stay home for the first couple years, or work part-time, but it's just not financially feasable for us.

There are pros and cons to everything. Also, not only is daycare good for kids, it's good for mom too! I am sorry but there is nothing more annoying than someone who can't have an adult conversation after they have children...

[hat0112]

Well I always knew that even I would have to have a job when I have kids not for money reason, but for my sanity. I know I will need to be out in the world and talk to people and have conversations about things other than children.

 

I think a part of me is upset knowing that if I put my child in day care I will miss all of their milestones and their most important moments like their first word and their first steps. I think that is what upset sets me most; that and knowing that another person is caring and nurturing my child for 40 some hours a week.

[RonNMel]

Just because they do spend lots of time in day care, doesn't mean their milestones are all gonna happen during that time.

 

As for someone else spending more time with your child, it's just the same as when they enter school. They may create a bond with other adults, but it never comes even close to the bond they have with their parents. Don't worry, you'll always remain #1 in your child's eyes. ;-)

 

And I agree with you, svetayasofiya. I know having a child changes your life, but it doesn't mean that the mom should completely disappear as a person. Same goes for the couple. I firmly believe in continuing to see friends with AND without your child, and going on date nights with your SO, even having a hobby.

[lyndsay_h]

We decided to get married before we had our second child just because we knew we'd get married eventually but if we waited until we had another it would mean no wedding for a few years. But then a few months into our engagment my FI went from not being sure about another child to wanting one NOW! So we gave it a try for a two months, then stopped because we definitely could not pull off a destination wedding with a baby younger than 3 months. I was disappointed, but now that I've experienced all the stress of the wedding planning I'm sooo glad it didn't happen then. So now we wait until November to try again!

 

Baby planning is hard not to obsess about...and seeing that no on the test stick sucks...but aside from the outcome of a wonderful daughter I really hated everything about being pregnant. So it taught me to enjoy the freedom my body has now, things seem to happen in their own time so just enjoy the time between you and your husband while you don't have a kid zapping all your energy and attention