To tell or not to tell?

[gracefulsteph]

Amy's thread got me thinking..............and I didn't want to steal her thread. FI and I have started of talking about getting married here instead as well. Seems like way too much paperwork and hassle to deal with that I would rather not have during my wedding week.

 

Here's my question.............do we tell family that we got married here?

I'm very torn on this decision and just wanted to hear everyone's thoughts!

[MsShelley]

I am kinda torn on this and we discussed this as well...

IMO, when we were talking about it, we weren't going to tell anyone, so everyone thought they were actually attending our wedding. I just felt some people would be like they already got married and not go... But I can see pros and cons to both...

[TammyB]

hmm, IMO I wouldn't tell anyone. Unless there is someone that can't afford to go to your DW, but you really wanted them to be apart of your wedding

[TracyK]

We are getting married before we go. The only people that will know will be both sets of parents, my brother and my best friend. The only reason we are telling them is my soon to be MIL and my bro absolutely refuse to get on a plane and I want them to be a part of it. My best friend because she would kill me if she ever found out. I am swearing them all to secrecy!

[LCBride2007]

we told people only if they asked - we didn't want to hide anything, but also wanted people to feel, as we did, that our mexico wedding was teh "real" wedding.

[DreaW]

We were not going to tell but we ended up telling my parents (who said they have to be there and it's really the day we are getting married) and E's parents.

Well then word got around that we are doing it on Friday, so now we have a couple of people coming with us that are not going to the wedding in Cabo....

a couple talking about 10 or so, and then we are having a mini dinner celebration.

 

It will be fun, Erik didn't think it was a good idea at first and said I was planning two weddings...but hey we have friends and family they really wanted to be there to celebrate with us....

[Rachelle E.]

I think it's definitely up to you.

 

My friend Monica who is getting married in Sept (Dreams PV) already did her legal marriage at the JP the beginning of this month. Only their parents attended and other than the parents, I think only the wedding party knows about it. They're not telling all the extended family etc. I think in large part because they just don't want to answer a zillion questions about it. Like, "Well since you got married here, why didn't you just have the wedding here?" Stuff like that.

 

I'd say it probably depends more on how the two of you feel about it and how sensetive or grumpy/prone to griping (to be quite frank!) your various friends and family are.

[AmyInMI]

After thinking more anout it, we are only going to tell our parents. I am hoping they may be able to come out there with us and see the ceremony as well.

[foxytv]

We are not telling anyone .. although I've discussed it with my Mom and BF. Tom says we'll just do it and not say a word -- but Mom really wants to be at the "legal" cermeony. However, to us, it's the DW that is the "real" wedding. We are just going to a JOP or maybe a quick trip to Vegas. Closer to that time, there's a chance we might have to tell the parents ... but I don't think they can keep their mouths shut. lol.

[amym567]

For those who are thinking about getting married at home because of the paperwork and/or blood test, I have to tell you that it wasn't that bad at all for us. I am a HUGE baby, but the doctor came to our room and was in and out in 5 minutes. It was a small needle, and I barely felt it. Everything was also very sterile and safe. Also, there really wasn't too much for the paperwork either. Now, I haven't started the change-my-name-process yet, so I may have a different opinion later, but one of the main reasons we got married there, was because of the dilemma of do you tell your guests, or don't you, and what day is our "real" anniversary. Just my 2 cents!

Amy