The First Family Fight...Children at the Wedding

[*JillD*]

I have to agree that I think your wedding day should be about love, family, & friends and about the commitment the two of you are making to each other.

 

Our daughter will be at our wedding, she's my maid of honor, and if our friends and family were willing to spend the money to come to our wedding, there is no way I would tell them they couldn't bring their kids, regardless of whether or not our daughter was going to be there. I think a lot of people make a trip for a DW into a vacation and they shouldn't be penalized because they have a family.

 

Everyone has their own opinion, but if you don't tell your guests upfront, I don't think its fair to tell them they have to use a hotel babysitter. Honestly, I would not be comfortable leaving my child with a stranger in a foreign country.

[Fotini]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nrvsbride I'm sorry to laugh but this topic reminded me of the episode on Sex & The City when Carrie goes to the babyshower and has to take her shoes off and then at the end of the babyshower the shoes are gone. Anyways the whole episode was a debate about people with kids vs. single women who don't have children. For some reason this reminded me of it. I guess my point is there are some women who love the little ones at their wedding and there are some women who heart seeing only guests that can wear Manolo's. Personally I heart both the muchkins and the manolo's!

ROFL.....I'm with Glenda on this one, this is all about perspective....and at the end of the day it is not a clear cut answer... i know kids that are holy terrors, and the parents couldn"t care less if they were jumping on tables and digging thier hands into the cake!!!

[LCBride2007]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fotini ROFL.....I'm with Glenda on this one, this is all about perspective....and at the end of the day it is not a clear cut answer... i know kids that are holy terrors, and the parents couldn"t care less if they were jumping on tables and digging thier hands into the cake!!!

as long as the parents are the ones that clean up the kid after he's done that - let 'em dig! lol i bet it would make for some good pictures!

[SarahMc]

We had a small wedding and two kids attended - my neice and nephew. They were the flowergirl and ringbearer. They usually aren't too well behaved at stuff like that, so we were worried about Connor jumping in the pool at the reception or some similar situation. I'm so glad they came though and one of my favorite memories from the reception is dancing with them and Connor running around with the garter on his head. I would have missed them if they weren't there and sometimes those not so perfect moments with kids make your wedding that much more memorable...

[-Kate-]

Think of it like this...

 

When you say we want an adults only wedding, everyone knows what you mean. It's not like you made this whole concept up and no one has any clue what it is. It's a term we understand bc thousands of people have this type of wedding and we know it is an option. You are entitled to have whatever kind of wedding you want. Hell, you could have a kids only wedding! It's YOUR wedding so do what you want.

Guess what? That family member who wants to bring their kid - they already had their wedding and did it how they wanted. They had their shot and this is yours.

[rodent]

I was once the brattiest flower girl ever, so it would be wrong of me to not invite kids.

 

I personally love seeing kids at a wedding. I think people have very different views of their dream wedding. Some think of it as their big day to shine other think of it as a fun day with celebrate with family. I guess it should be what you want because it is your day, but I know if I was a parent it would upset me. Maybe it's not fair, but I don't think I'd go to a wedding my kids were not invited to.

 

I made a big effort to pick out a kid friendly hotel where kids stay free. Everyone has said they don't plan on taking kids so they can make it a romantic weekend. I think it will be more fun that way so we can all stay out late or travel around more, but I wanted to make it their choice. I'm not saying that's the right thing to do, but I would feel bad to do it any other way.

[gkashmira]

We had a few kids at our wedding but they were amazingly well behaved and very cute. They had a great time dancing with everyone and we all had fun dancing with them!

[rodent]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LALA That family member who wants to bring their kid - they already had their wedding and did it how they wanted. They had their shot and this is yours.

That's true. You shouldn't have to accomidate people. But I do think if a person does have a adult only wedding they shouldn't be upset if people decide not to go.

Everyone has really different views of what a wedding should be & people always have something to be critical of. So I guess you do just have to stop worrying about other people & do what makes the two of you happy. Still, I think it's always important to be considerate of guest, but you don't have to cater to them. You want them to enjoy the wedding after all.

[-Kate-]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mlb36 That's true. You shouldn't have to accomidate people. But I do think if a person does have a adult only wedding they shouldn't be upset if people decide not to go. Everyone has really different views of what a wedding should be & people always have something to be critical of. So I guess you do just have to stop worrying about other people & do what makes the two of you happy. Still, I think it's always important to be considerate of guest, but you don't have to cater to them. You want them to enjoy the wedding after all.

I totally agree. We are not having an adults only wedding. Kids are funny and I'm all for them being a part of a celebration. That said, none of our guests thus far are bringing their kids. Not even the couple that had their second child just last week! They are all using this as a vaca from the kids.
With adults only you can't be upset if people don't come for that reason. But IMHO you shouldn't have a right to be upset for any reason a guest comes up with not to come.
FI's best friend isn't coming bc they just had a baby 2 months ago. By the time we have the wedding the kid will be 6 months old. When he starts to get bothered by that I tell him they have the right to be whatever kind of parent they want to be and it's not our right to be upset. In the long run, the wedding is just a day. His friend has been there for so many other days of our lives that we can't get mad for missing this one.

That turned into a ramble. Sorry!!

[*JillD*]

I think if you're getting married close to home and you want an adults only wedding, I don't think it should be a big deal for someone to get a babysitter for a few hours.

 

However, if you're getting married in another country I think its a lot to expect a family to be able to find a sitter for one child, let alone multiple children. I know in our family, its very easy for us to get babysitters, we have a lot of people we can ask, but I have friends and extended family that don't have sitters that would be available to take their kids for a week or they may not want to leave them at home for a week.

 

I guess the bottom line is you just can't get upset with people if they don't come because you told them no children were allowed.