Am I A Bad Bride? - Long

[DWbridetobe]

You're note a bad bride at ALL! Just remember that this is YOUR wedding. Make it what YOU and your FI want it to be. I feel you on most of these issues... I'm dealing with them as well. Just keep looking towards the finish line, where you'll be married, happy and have some wonderful memories of your wedding.

[blckrevpower]

it's all about you and your FH, no one else.

I think the majority of brides on this forum have been through what you are going through now.

[Melidell]

You're not a bad bride. It sounds like everyone else has way too much invested in your wedding and in what they think you "should" or "shouldn't" do. Please. It's your wedding- they had their own. Come, or don't come, but just shut up about it already.

 

What really stuck with me was the complaints about your dress. Now, I don't know you and haven't seen your dress but unless it's comprised of a pasties/g-string combo they were way out of line. It's not 1865, it's a destination wedding and you never tell a bride that you don't like her dress period. Come on, people!

 

Good luck, and I know it's easier said than done but try not to let them get to you!

[~Katie~]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hoyt75 It seems to me that too many people get caught up in all the pretty details of a wedding and forget what it's all about. The most important thing to us is just to get married, to make that commitment to each other in front of the people we love most. Nothing else really matters to me, I just want to get stinkin' married! Am I the one being selfish? Maybe my wedding isn't really about me, maybe it's really about everyone else being happy. I understand that people can be upset about not being able to join us on our wedding day, but it's okay, we'll see everyone that can't make it (including 100's of other friends and family) when we get back. Maybe I am the worst bride on the planet.

You are far from being a bad bride! You could be by turning round to your FI's family and just shouting 'you pay for it all then'!!!!!!!!

I think a lot of us have felt the same way. We got a lot of stick for deciding on a DW wedding, and even had family members trying to change my mind on location! eventually we stuck to our guns and kept telling them this is where we want to get married (we got engaged in Mexico and had the most amazing holiday there ever so it felt so right to go back to get married there).

It's amazing when you start to plan a wedding how soon it feels like it's not all about you, but all about how you can please everyone else!

You HAVE TO, HAVE TO, HAVE TO stick with what you and FI want - at the end of the day, when it's all over, you can look back and not regret a thing because you did it the way you want it. You're not making people come and spend money - if they want to, their choice. as soon as someone mentions the word 'wedding' it seems EVERYONE has an opinion, and voices it. I'm sure loads of us on here are in the same boat, so don't worry.

Just ignore it all. and everytime someone pipes up just say 'this is the way we want our day to be'. I'd like to see someone argue with that without hearing themselves sound really selfish.

Good luck, and feel free to rant away

[Sloan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melidell You're not a bad bride. It sounds like everyone else has way too much invested in your wedding and in what they think you "should" or "shouldn't" do. Please. It's your wedding- they had their own. Come, or don't come, but just shut up about it already. What really stuck with me was the complaints about your dress. Now, I don't know you and haven't seen your dress but unless it's comprised of a pasties/g-string combo they were way out of line. It's not 1865, it's a destination wedding and you never tell a bride that you don't like her dress period. Come on, people!

I totally agree. Who tells the bride "your dress is too revealing". Who cares if it is? It's 2010 afterall and unless you're a Mormon or some other conservative religious sect that cares about that kind of thing, I'd tell the family to stuff it.

I'm pretty sure 99.999% of the brides on the forum have gone through most of the same things you've expressed. I told my family and friends, if you don't like it that's too bad and I wont listen to your bitching and complaining. I never heard anything further. My friends were pissed that I didn't have an AHR, but when I asked them if they had the funds to pay for it.... well no one offered and I never heard anything further on that subject. Hah! I stuck to my guns and it worked out in the end. Yes, I only had 9 guests at my DW but I could have cared less if no one showed up. I had a great time and so did my husband.

[hoyt75]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melidell You're not a bad bride. It sounds like everyone else has way too much invested in your wedding and in what they think you "should" or "shouldn't" do. Please. It's your wedding- they had their own. Come, or don't come, but just shut up about it already. What really stuck with me was the complaints about your dress. Now, I don't know you and haven't seen your dress but unless it's comprised of a pasties/g-string combo they were way out of line. It's not 1865, it's a destination wedding and you never tell a bride that you don't like her dress period. Come on, people! Good luck, and I know it's easier said than done but try not to let them get to you!

Hahaha! It's really not that bad I swear! Although I did consider wearing a nice neglegee for my wedding dress just to piss off my fmil! It's really not bad though, it's a little low cut in the front and totally open in the back (it does have a back though!)

It just get so frustrating when you're trying to make people feel like they're apart of something, and no matter what you do, it's still not good enough. And I totally understand that people are upset about a dw b/c we're asking lot out of people. But, they don't want to go, or can't afford to go, it's really no big deal. I just wish people would step back and realize that it's not their wedding. They got they're chance to do what they wanted and now it's mine.

[svetayasofiya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by latoya1908 .... People kill me thinking they have a say in your life decisions and even worse....YOUR MONEY!

Well said sister!


I don't want to sound like a negative nelly but let it roll off your back like you don't care, because when you get closer to the actual event like I am, people seem way less concerned about your wedding and more focused on the fact that they are going on vacation. It's a big deal to us, but not to most... sad, but true.

[KittenHeart]

Awww honey you're not a bad bride! Welcome to the DW brides club:) Unfortunately, a lot of the girls on the site have experienced almost identical or worse scenarios.

 

It's absolutely your wedding and you do exactly what you want, I still can't figure out why people feel that their opinion hold's any weight in YOUR decisions for YOUR wedding.

 

Sorry the families are being dramatic, stick to your guns though and have it your way! This is supposed to be the one time/day you can do that right?

[JennandMike08]

its your official initiation....its not a full out DW without the hassle and stress from family

[bride2b10]

I know - I wonder how many people actually DON'T have to go through any of this? I'm sure they're the minority