To vent or not to vent - FMILs unite

bride2b10 · January 7, 2010

Not really sure if it's even worth venting. I know what you girls will (correctly) say. It's our day, we should do what we want, what makes us happy, etc. etc.

But regardless...

We are doing a beach ceremony reception. My FMIL is "ashamed" to tell people that they will be eating on sand. She thinks it's completely inappropriate for the formality of the event and is basically telling my FI daily how unhappy she is and how this is awful and "people will have sand in their food" (interesting how not a single girl on this forum has had this issue), and "HOW can people be in sand? what about girl's shoes?" blah blah... (she's one of those that likes fancy halls with gold chandeliers)

anyhow, I really feel bad for my FI bc he is close with his family and wants them to be excited and I think they are ruining this whole thing for him. And I'm not trying to make this casual either...we are getting a lit dance floor, lights, decorations, etc etc so it's not like I'm going there to have a back yard bbq

Honestly, are we just copying and pasting each other stories? I swear I've read this one before...

Thanks to all in advance

DanielleNDerek · January 8, 2010

Can your fi just say to his mom "mom I hear your concerns but this is what we want and its been decided. I dont want to talk about this anymore." i bet your fmil loves it when she sees it.

marak · January 8, 2010

Get her a pedi for the sandy dogs and tell her to...

J/K!!! I don't envy you gals with FMIL issues. Mine initially did not share our excitement about a destination wedding, but she came around...ummm is coming around. She's a sweety, so I am thankful for the little things in life.

Really, I think a lot of bitching and moaning occurs pre-wedding, but 99% of it fades away when the sound of the waves lapping on the shore calms the beasts. I mean really, no....ick, shutter to even type it...bleh...."gold chandelier" is even in the same ball'room' with a beach sunset.

Maybe a quick reminder to her that very fancy lobsters live in the sand will help.

bride2b10 · January 8, 2010

maybe a chandelier center piece? she's just one of those people, she doesn't care for the beach and to her non of that is "beautiful". I mean really, a romantic sunset ceremony overlooking the Caribbean.. doesn't compare to 4 walls and a carpet

McToasty · January 10, 2010

That sucks. lol. I'd be so tempted to tell her to take the 10ft pole out her a$$, but of course, we can't. All we can do is try to be patient. I feel bad for your FI too. It's such an important day, he would obviously want them to be excited for him, and her attitude just puts a whole downer on things. Eh. What can you do. My dad actually asked me if I was sure that we wanted a DW (this was just last week - we booked the resort last June and he knew about it), and if there are "only" 20 people coming, maybe we should just cancel it. I just explained that it's what we really want, and even if it was just us two, we wouldn't cancel. Maybe just choose a smaller package. Lucky for me tho, he's the type to just be quiet about it after. Sounds like your FMIL is the type to go around yapping to everyone about her qualms.

Wish you all the best!!! *hugs*

McToasty · January 10, 2010

That sucks. lol. I'd be so tempted to tell her to take the 10ft pole out her a$$, but of course, we can't. All we can do is try to be patient. I feel bad for your FI too. It's such an important day, he would obviously want them to be excited for him, and her attitude just puts a whole downer on things. Eh. What can you do. My dad actually asked me if I was sure that we wanted a DW (this was just last week - we booked the resort last June and he knew about it), and if there are "only" 20 people coming, maybe we should just cancel it. I just explained that it's what we really want, and even if it was just us two, we wouldn't cancel. Maybe just choose a smaller package. Lucky for me tho, he's the type to just be quiet about it after. Sounds like your FMIL is the type to go around yapping to everyone about her qualms.

Wish you all the best!!! *hugs*