Gifts for Maids of Honours and Bridemaids

[isaidyes]

I have two maids of honour (two bestfriends) and one bridesmaid (cousin) in my wedding party. I'm having a hard time deciding if I should give them gifts or not.

 

We paid their deposits as a gift - $250.00 and gave them each an additional $100. At this point we are going a little broke as we paid the deposits for the groomsmen too.

 

I ordered pashmina's for the girls. We also ordered mugs from Discount Mugs (if they ever come)...do you think it would be bad if we don't buy they anything else?

 

I'm kind of in a rock and a hard place because financially we can't really afford to do more than we have already done.

 

Thoughts?

[murphysmom]

Hmmmm....this is a tough one and I admit I haven't yet reached this part of the planning. I am stress because I recently learned you are technically supposed to pay for their hotel accommodations!! How in the world am I supposed to afford this when my budget is increasing by the day??!! It's sometimes difficult to balance etiquette and budget.

 

In your case, I think the deposit's and the pashmina's were very thoughtful gifts. I personally would think this is okay. However, the only other thing I would suggest is a piece of jewelry that is not too expensive? Something that goes with the dresses and that they will wear again. I received a very lovely heart-shaped necklace from a bride last year when I was a bridesmaid and I love it and wear it all the time. Another idea is perhaps seeing if the hotel will give you a group discount for mani/pedi's. Or maybe just pedi's. I would imagine this depends on the price of your hotel but this would also be another good idea...just a little something extra they can benefit from on the actual day itself.

 

As for groomsmen...I'm leaving this up to my fiance so I haven't even given this a second thought! We're having our wedding in Cabo, so knowing my fiance he will give them cuban cigars and a bottle of nice scotch or something.

 

Good luck!

[isaidyes]

Hi,

Thanks for your note. I too have read that "technically" you are supposed to pay for your wedding party to travel with you..but really...who can afford that? In the beginning of our wedding planning we told our friends that if they experienced any financial hardships we'd be happy to help - we did end up doing this for the best mans wife. We aren't that wealthy and honestly just wanted a nice beach wedding with our friends and family.

 

I hate to say it but the girls hosted my shower and it was NOT that good lol. There was a lot of drama between the girls and my cousin and in the end I'm the one that suffered. I guess it just left me with a bitter taste in my mouth about doing something for them.

 

I had considered giving them pedicures however quickly changed my mind. When we were booking our spa appointments I scheduled my appointment to start at 10, the girls (except my cousin) scheduled there's for 11 since they decided that since they were only going to get their hair done they would join me later. Maybe I'm a little sensitive but i took that the wrong way. I had kind of envisioned purchasing them "maid of honour" and "bridesmaid" tanks and all of us girls getting spa treatments together. Of course I would have bought the pedicures but after the intial "will join you later" comments I was kind of taken aback and bitter.

 

It's not easy planning a destination wedding and I counted on my friends to be there a little more than they were. I am NO brizella and really have asked nothing of my friends throughout this whole planning process.

 

good luck to you too!

[Rainfall]

I think that the deposit and gifts you have already done is enough. I am paying for the girls dresses, sandals and jewelry.. I am not sure if I should include anything else as my budget is surly already over.

[isaidyes]

Thanks Rainfall. I am second guessing myself if I'm doing enough or not. I so hear you about the budget thing....

[*Meagan*]

We bought our entire bridal parties dresses (girls) and pants/shirts (men & boys). We are giving the girls earrings and the guys puka shell necklaces. And we purchased Oakley sunglasses for everyone as their main gift!

And for our junior groomsmen custom NFL jerseys!

 

It is really important to me and us that we showed appreciation to everyone.. so we are also doing OOT bags! And extra appreciation to our bridal party and parents (who we also got gifts for)!

 

It was a little over budget but I/we feel really great about it. Good Luck!

[Rainfall]

Quote:

Originally Posted by future_mrs2010 We bought our entire bridal parties dresses (girls) and pants/shirts (men & boys). We are giving the girls earrings and the guys puka shell necklaces. And we purchased Oakley sunglasses for everyone as their main gift! And for our junior groomsmen custom NFL jerseys! It is really important to me and us that we showed appreciation to everyone.. so we are also doing OOT bags! And extra appreciation to our bridal party and parents (who we also got gifts for)! It was a little over budget but I/we feel really great about it. Good Luck!

I want to get oakley glasses too but how do you choose when this is such a personal preference??

[isaidyes]

I agree. Oakley sunglasses seem like an awesome gift but how do you choose that for someone?

 

I don't know - I feel like we spent enough to be honest

 

Maid of Honours - we paid $450 towards their trip each

Bridesmaid - we paid $250 towards her trip

Groomsman - we paid $750 - $250 for deposit and an extra $550 to help his wife come

 

We also are doing the travel mugs.

 

I let the girls choose their dresses so they were in total control of the price. They also are in complete control of how to wear their hair or if they want makeup - and I told them to keep costs down we'd all go barefoot for the ceremony.

 

Don't get me wrong, if i'm out and i see something cute for them then i'll pick it up...but at this point i'm out of ideas you know? It would be great to get some tiffany's starfish necklaces for them but that's at least $200 a piece...

 

I don't know..am i off base here?

[futuremrsgoodrich]

I dont think there are hard and fast rules... (my wedding book says there arent?)

 

We paid prob 1/3 of the cost for each person in the bridal party.

 

I did get Tiffany necklaces for the girls, they are 100 each (the Alphabet note necklace) with the thought that everyone should own at least a little Tiffany

 

A handwritten thank you note goes a long way in my book

[clfaidl2]

i think it's the thought that counts. what you did for them sounds like enough. Especially, since you financially can't afford to do anything else. I agree if you add anything a good idea would be a cheap necklace or pedi's. But if you can't financially afford to do that then don't dig yourself in a hole. I know this wedding stuff gets to be expensive! Good luck dear