my mother in law is going to drive me to drink!!!

[jenv]

so it's been a crazy christmas !!! had my mil in town for two weeks and she finally went home today!!! thank god!! i love her but she is driving me crazy!!! i'm glad she lives in kelowna.

the whole time she was here she was going on about our wedding what we should and shouldn't do and how she still thinks we should have a big wedding at home!!!

the last straw was when we had my fi sisters over and his mom decided to look at the bridal books that i have. she started off by telling me that my wedding party should pay much for there dress and they should just be summer dresses nothing fancy since were doing it on the beach. then we got to talking about my flower girls and i had told her that that one of my bm's will have a 9 month old at our wedding and i was excited to find out what she is having and if it was a boy i would use him in the wedding. my mil told me that it's stupid to have a baby in the wedding that i was being silly if i did that. the icing on the cake was when she told me i shouldn't pay alot for my dress i should get a used one since i'm only having a beach wedding!!! i told her that if someone else wants to do that, that is fine but i said my mom will have no part in me getting a used dress and plus my mom and my aunt are helping to pay for it so they definalty have a say not her. finally my FIL got mad at her and told her she has no say in any of it ....

sorry i was just PO'd about it all and need to tell someone cause i FI thinks i'm being silly and to next time ignore his mom...

 

hope everyone had a merry christmas and have a happy new year!!!

[vlynnw]

oh you poor thing, I'm so sorry but thank god she's gone. However, your fil is right what she thinks really doesn't matter and you can blow her mind with how amazing your "only a beach wedding" is.

[shellk]

sounds like you had lots of fun lol.i think your fi is right you need to learn to ignore peoples selfish comments you will get lots more of um.you just need to pretend to listen and say yeh yeh yeh then do what you 2 want.

[FutureMrsLewis]

If I had listened to FMIL, we would have been married 3 years ago in a courthouse and had a supper with both sets of parents at a restaurant somewhere lol

 

During your wedding planning, you will receive LOTS of input, 99% you won't want and didn't even ask for. But, these people will THINK they're helping, so let them think that, and then immediately ignore it and do whatever it is YOU want. And if it gets too much, just smile and nod Then come on here and rant about it later lol

[kris]

Agreed! My MIL drives me crazy sometimes too. She is a super nice lady but needs to tell you all the time that whatever your doing is the wrong way of doing it. I pretty much just always ignore her haha. I say dont let it get to you and just keep doing things your way. When she sees your wedding shw wont care about any of the ideas she had that you didnt listen too.

[DanielleNDerek]

She sounds super annoying. Good for your FIL for telling her to shut up, that was awesome. Unfortunately she's going to be your MIL for the rest of your live so your better off just ignoring her. And if i were you I'd NEVER bring up wedding plans in front of her. If she's going to be really opinionated about everything, in not a positive way than you dont need her help with the planning and i wouldnt even describe what your dress looks like or any other details. I would just say things like "oh its a surprise till my wedding day. i want everyone to see it for the first time as i walk down the isle" that kind of thing. or if she asks about stuff i would try the no comment approach like "i'm not sure what we are going to do. i have to think about it." Avoid wedding talk as much as possible. The less she knows the less she can comment on. If she isnt paying for anything than you really dont need to discuss it with her. Itd be nice if she was cool and you could have her join in on the wedding planning fun but if she's going to be a PITA than leave her out.

 

I'm so thankful that my ILs were not like this. They were always like "whatever Danielle wants. she's the bride" and very positive about everything. I'm sure it helped that their daughter had a DW too. And i'm sure your MIL has probably never been to a DW and your the one whose probably doing a lot of research and seeing what ideas other girls have. She has no idea how special having a DW can be, she's stuck in a big wedding at home mindset. Which is great for some people but not you. She'll get over that. And your going to hear that from a lot of people "why are you having a DW? why cant you just get married at home?" just say "that's not what i want" and ignore and ignore.

 

goodluck

[becks]

I agree with Danielle completely! My MIL was such a pain - wanting to go dress shopping with me (um, no thanks... my own mom can't be there, and you are out of line), begging me to dress people in sombreros (what?), wanting to decide menus...

 

Just don't bring up the wedding in front of her. And whenever she asks (and believe me she will), just tell her that you want it all to be a surprise. Be sure to get your FI on board with the plan - otherwise she'll start in on him, too!

[jenv]

thanks ladies!!! from now on i will not bring up the wedding stuff and if we do talk about it i won't let it bother me!!! i do love the fact that she lives about an 6 hour drive away and is not planning on moving to where we live anytime soon!!!!

wish all of you a happy new year!!!

[vdaybride]

Just know that "you are not alone, I am here with you" as the late great Michael Jackson once sang..my FMIL drives me nuts also. At least she is not giving your FI recently written love letters from old girlfriends from 10 years ago trying to cause drama because her only son is getting married. I said all that to say..it is their duty to drive us crazy and it could always be worse!! lol. I am happy that she is gone and that you practiced restraint. Now breathe deep and get back to planning your fabulous DW!!

[carolina24]

oh no, gotta love family. a bit of advise, have a talk with your FI. the two of you need to have a united front against her b/c she is going to stick her nose in your business from now on (imagine kids, your house, etc). nip it in the bud, imo.