People keep inviting themselves!!!!! I've had it!

TaniBBurwell · February 11, 2010

This is what happened to my FI and I:

We sent out 75 invitations. However, we told our guests that they could bring as many guests as they want. We decided to not cap the guest list because we already knew that many folks who received an invitation would not be able to attend (due to finances, family fueds, fear of flying, etc.) You know, the people that you need to invite to prevent further family drama.

After we sent out the invitations, so many other folks started to ask for their OWN invitations. My aunt asked me if I can send out a seperate invitation to her friend (someone I didn't know). Needless to say, it was very easy to put my foot down and say no. But it worked out because this friend is coming to the wedding under my aunt's invitation.

I had a couple of college friends that requested an invitation. They would have been on the original guest list, but they always flaked out on me when it came to important events. Therefore, I felt they were not worthy of the invitation (at the end, they cost approximately $10 per invite). Instead, I sent them all the information for the wedding via e-mail. Of course, those friends declined my e-mail invite.

My FI was not so lucky. My FI got into an argument with my FMIL because we did not send a seperate invitation to her ex-SIL. Mind you- this is a woman whom I have never met during the 5.5 years of our relationship. I guess she really wanted to go because after my FI sent her the info via e-mail, she said that she will attend.

My FI also had a little conflict with is grandmother. She requested another invitation for her friend. And this is a woman my FI did not know well at all. My FI said no, thus causing even more conflict between him and his mom.

I am envious that you have a lot of guests attending your wedding. However, it's your wedding. Many guests lose sight of that. They think that no harm will be caused if you approve of them inviting themselves. However, they fail to realize the extra financial burden that you and your FI will ultimately bear.

In a polite and respectful way, tell these wedding crashers that the wedding and reception is only for invited close friends and family. You should also inform these wedding crashers that hotel security will not permit anyone who is not on the guest list.

blckrevpower · February 16, 2010

hopefully things will work out for you.

people are doing that to me too and we haven't even sent out std's. when they say something, i just smile because i know i'm not inviting a whole bunch of people to our wedding. we really want to keep it small.

we've invited 65 and expect about 20 to show.

Boo · August 10, 2010

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MDLady · August 10, 2010

Wow, how rude!!! I didn't have a single person ask why they were not invited before the wedding. Afterwards, some people asked when they found out that I was married but obviously if they didn't know about the wedding, they aren't close enough for us to invite!

Just because you run into someone on the street and they say congratulations, doesn't mean that you should invite them!!! And with a destination wedding, it is the perfect excuse to tell people that you just want to keep it small. Those "friends" or rather acquaintances should not expect to be invited if you are not very close!!!!