What I would and wouldn't do again...

[blkladylaw]

I would do these again:

 

Wear hot pink shoes...they were a hit...everyone loved that they were not normal wedding shoes and so did I! The pop of pink poking out from the dress in my pics was great!

 

Lake Las Vegas Chapel Fiorenza & reception on La Contessa yacht cruise...it was perfect, beautiful, my guests loved the locale and it was very unique!

 

Design my own table decor/centerpieces and buy the supplies myself and ship it to have them setup for me..so much cheaper

 

Do black/white/fuschia color scheme...very easy to find things and find bargain deals on items for a black/white wedding.

 

Lose the 40 lbs that I lost. I felt so much better in the dress from when I first tried it on 5 months prior. Not just a good move for the wedding but just for my health and preparing for a pregnancy in the future hopefully.

 

Register for honeymoon activities, spa visits and on cloud9living.com for things to do at home when we get back. We were also on Target but no one used it...except one person got us a Target gift card.

 

Short engagement...from the official proposal to the wedding date was 5 months...though I started planning one month prior to the official proposal.

 

Add pink floralytes to the vases for my centerpieces...it added a nice touch as it got dark.

 

Skip all the chapel decor again...the chapel was so nice by itself that I am glad I just sprinkled fuschia rose petals down the aisle and at the altar...simple is best. I found that guests were wowed by the location, architecture, water views, etc. No one cared about the decor items so I am glad I spent money on the location versus decor/flowers.

 

Use silk flowers and petals again for centerpieces, mothers corsages, decor. No one cared real vs. fake.

 

No one missed the garter toss and bouquet toss. I gave my bouquet to my grandma and two silk bouquets to our mothers who are both single.

 

Photo frame signature guestbook. It is more practical and will get used to frame a wedding photo vs. a traditional guestbook.

 

Give luggage scales as a favor. People appreciated them with the current luggage fees much more than some unnecessary item with our names stamped on them.

 

Just buy the copyright released CD of the pics and order them yourself for much cheaper on one of the many online sites like Shutterfly.com. You can even make photo books bound in leather online for way cheaper than the photographer was going to charge me. I'm glad we did this versus buying expensive packages.

 

Stay at the Ritz Carlton at Lake Las Vegas in Henderson

 

Stay at the Trump hotel in Las Vegas. One of the most amazing hotels I have stayed in. They upgraded us to an exec suite with one of the first jacuzzi tubs I have seen that can accommodate both of our very tall frames.

 

Stay at the Grand Hyatt in Kauai for honeymoon

Stay at a vacation rental home with our own pool in Oahu for our honeymoon

 

Make CDs to play on the yacht cruise versus a DJ. No one missed it and everyone loved the music and have been asking for copies.

 

Create a DVD slideshow of photos of us from baby to childhood to teens to college to post-college to early dating pics of us all the way to the bachelorette party photos. It was a hit and all the photos of us growing up had people laughing. The funniest part was that I included photos from the bachelorette party that gradually showed me getting drunker and leaning over more and more in my chair and I put the words Going, Going, Gone with the last pic showing me completely passed out in the chair. Everyone was dying of laughter at the end.

 

Marry Mr. J...one of the best decisions of my life.

 

Splurging on unique invitations by Trish at Embellishments.

 

Throw a party in our suite at the Trump the next day. Our room was too big and too nice not to share with beautiful views. This was not preplanned...we decided that morning and texted and called our guests. We went to the store and got some liquor and snacks and popped in our Ipod into the player in the room and had a great time before we went to Club Poetry.

 

Reserve a VIP area at a Vegas club. Since our reception was more of a yacht cruise with just slow dancing and romantic music...we booked the club area for the next evening for some dancing. This was one of the highlights of the event. I would definitely do this again! Club Poetry was amazing and gave us great service. P Diddy and Donny from Making the Band were there. We had such a good time.

 

Rent an Audi SUV. It came in handy having to transport family around and carrying all our luggage and boxes of wedding items. It was fun to drive and stylish. It was a mixed thing though....we did get tired of giving rides and picking people up ....and driving up and down the strip is exhausting. We have such awful commutes in DC already that having to spend so much time driving was a pain. We had assumed our moms/grandmoms would just get to certain places we were having things on the Strip by catching a taxi or something but they called us all the time so we drove a lot.

 

Do my own hair and makeup. I was rushing near the end so I didn't get to do all the fancy makeup tricks that I had wanted to do but I don't think it mattered much and my pics came out more natural looking. I had bought fake lashes and forgot to use concealer but it came out fine. I set my hair with mousse and rollers for lots of curls and just pulled the sides back and used pearl/crystal pins along the sides and the middle....voila...bridal hair. I had left foam rollers in all day so my curls would not fall. I had played with the style before I left so I did it like about 2 minutes before I walked out to go down the aisle. It came out just fine and I am glad I didn't spend extra money on this.

 

Edit the pastor's script. We personalized it with our own wording and also added a charge to the family and friends who had to say "I do" to the pastors charge to provide emotional support to us during our marriage. Everyone loved this and it made them feel more a part of the ceremony.

 

I would not:

 

Stress about hemming my table runners. I was hemming these with hem tape in the finals days and as it got closer and I didn't have time I was just leaving the edges raw cut...no one noticed or cared. Much wasted time...they were cut in a straight line and that was sufficient and they looked nice as is.

 

Try to buy a new car during the week before my wedding. My transmission died on my car before we left for the wedding and I have a long work commute so I was pressed to find a new vehicle before I left because a brand was having a sales event. It added more stress having to research cars, test drive, etc.

 

Stay in Honolulu, Oahu again...we split time with Kauai because my husband wanted to have a "city experience" so it was a compromise. Honolulu was like being in hectic DC and Vegas all over again with traffic and not much that we can't already get at home in the city. He ended up agreeing that he wishes we had more time in Kauai and had just stayed there the whole time. While on Oahu we spent most of our time driving to things that were closer to the North Shore. If I stay on Oahu again I would stay someplace other than the Honolulu area. I am glad we did a private home rental in Kahala though versus staying in Waikiki hotels.

 

Wait until the last minute to finalize burning our music CDs and making the DVD slideshow. I figured it would be quick easy based on past experiences and I ended up having technical problems. I was up all night the night before we left and instead of packing I was frantically trying to burn the music from my Itunes playlist to CDs for the ceremony and reception music and get a photo slideshow to burn to DVD. Neither was working and I kept getting errors up until the taxi arrived to go to the airport. I had still not packed and had to frantically throw a bunch of stuff in suitcases while the taxi waited and while my fiance freaked out. I finally just burned the slideshow file to CD and hoped I could find someone to get it on DVD in Vegas. I also got the CDs to burn after I updated my computer programs like seconds before we pulled off! The photo/video studio for my chapel only used Mac programs and couldnt do anything with my Windows based file but they tracked down a retired colleague for me who was so nice to do it for us. We went to his home in Vegas and he made it loop a few times and put it on DVD for us. He even made backup copies of all our music for us and formatted them to be sure they would play in all versions of CD players. What an angel!

 

Do dinner at the Wynn buffet the next day with the family. I heard it was one of the best. Our guests that liked seafood loved it for the king crab legs etc. but the buffet was just OK to me. They did have a wide selection though. I wasn't wowed by anything I had. My southern grandma was not familiar with most of the foods...sushi etc...a lot of the choices were too fancy. The sushi was not great...I've had way better. I couldn't finish the one piece I had. We shoudl have done Maggianos or something like that instead.

 

Play slot machines...I generally always lose on these.

 

Don't forget to reapply lipstick and touch up make up throughout the evening. I did forget ...and notice in pics that my makeup had faded after eating and as the night went on.

 

I wouldn't spend so much time helping with the setup before the wedding. The caterer kept telling me to leave and that they had it but the control freak in me had to stay and help do my gift bags. I am glad I was there to help give some direction for a few things that they weren't sure what I wanted done. I had shipped boxes of my decor and favors direct to the caterer with written instructions. But once I had given the guidance and showed how the favor bags would be set up...I should have left. By the time I got back to the room to start getting ready my family had started arriving and distracted me for the final hours. I ran out of time and didn't get to get my nails touched up as the french tips white part started coming off. They were like that at the wedding ...I had to hide my hands all night!

 

Be clearer on the RSVP card about what # of guests means. Some put 1 but meant just themselves and some meant themselves plus one. My headcount was off at the end. I am torn about the use of RSVP cards. Out of 60 invitations I got 20 RSVPs back in the mail and maybe 5 by email via our website. We had about 6 people not show who RSVPd yes and never updated us that they were not coming and some who even confirmed the week prior that they were coming. $700+ down the drain. Completely inconsiderate. One of them has offered to send money to cover their spot.

I'm sure there is more...I'll add later.

[rodent]

Quote:

Originally Posted by blkladylaw Just buy the copyright released CD of the pics and order them yourself for much cheaper on one of the many online sites like Shutterfly.com. You can even make photo books bound in leather online for way cheaper than the photographer was going to charge me. I'm glad we did this versus buying expensive packages.

check out mpix.com. it's about the same price as shutterfly, but much nicer quality. the metallic prints are great!

[yamille]

BLKLADYLAW- It sounds like you had a wonderful wedding. Thanks for the input. Congratulations!

[Julia]

Bisha, those are some great tips! I think the site you're looking for to vent on FIP is 'ihatemyinlaws.com' ... not that I have any need for it!! lol!

[blkladylaw]

Thought of some more...

 

I Would...

 

put most every wedding expense, catering and all, on my AMEX card and a US Air Visa and used points to upgrade flights to first class, a $200 certificate off of our car rental and $100s saved on our hotel rooms. Use points to save money! Though of course pay them off with cash at month end and don't carry large balances though.

 

Use live.com cashback to save money if shopping for wedding items online...I am getting about $600-$700 back from using this site to buy things I needed for the wedding.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by blkladylaw I would do these again:   Wear hot pink shoes...they were a hit...everyone loved that they were not normal wedding shoes and so did I! The pop of pink poking out from the dress in my pics was great!   Lake Las Vegas Chapel Fiorenza & reception on La Contessa yacht cruise...it was perfect, beautiful, my guests loved the locale and it was very unique!   Design my own table decor/centerpieces and buy the supplies myself and ship it to have them setup for me..so much cheaper   Do black/white/fuschia color scheme...very easy to find things and find bargain deals on items for a black/white wedding.   Lose the 40 lbs that I lost. I felt so much better in the dress from when I first tried it on 5 months prior. Not just a good move for the wedding but just for my health and preparing for a pregnancy in the future hopefully.   Register for honeymoon activities, spa visits and on cloud9living.com for things to do at home when we get back. We were also on Target but no one used it...except one person got us a Target gift card.   Short engagement...from the official proposal to the wedding date was 5 months...though I started planning one month prior to the official proposal.   Add pink floralytes to the vases for my centerpieces...it added a nice touch as it got dark.   Skip all the chapel decor again...the chapel was so nice by itself that I am glad I just sprinkled fuschia rose petals down the aisle and at the altar...simple is best. I found that guests were wowed by the location, architecture, water views, etc. No one cared about the decor items so I am glad I spent money on the location versus decor/flowers.   Use silk flowers and petals again for centerpieces, mothers corsages, decor. No one cared real vs. fake.   No one missed the garter toss and bouquet toss. I gave my bouquet to my grandma and two silk bouquets to our mothers who are both single.   Photo frame signature guestbook. It is more practical and will get used to frame a wedding photo vs. a traditional guestbook.   Give luggage scales as a favor. People appreciated them with the current luggage fees much more than some unnecessary item with our names stamped on them.   Just buy the copyright released CD of the pics and order them yourself for much cheaper on one of the many online sites like Shutterfly.com. You can even make photo books bound in leather online for way cheaper than the photographer was going to charge me. I'm glad we did this versus buying expensive packages.   Stay at the Ritz Carlton at Lake Las Vegas in Henderson   Stay at the Trump hotel in Las Vegas. One of the most amazing hotels I have stayed in. They upgraded us to an exec suite with one of the first jacuzzi tubs I have seen that can accommodate both of our very tall frames.   Stay at the Grand Hyatt in Kauai for honeymoon Stay at a vacation rental home with our own pool in Oahu for our honeymoon   Make CDs to play on the yacht cruise versus a DJ. No one missed it and everyone loved the music and have been asking for copies.   Create a DVD slideshow of photos of us from baby to childhood to teens to college to post-college to early dating pics of us all the way to the bachelorette party photos. It was a hit and all the photos of us growing up had people laughing. The funniest part was that I included photos from the bachelorette party that gradually showed me getting drunker and leaning over more and more in my chair and I put the words Going, Going, Gone with the last pic showing me completely passed out in the chair. Everyone was dying of laughter at the end.   Marry Mr. J...one of the best decisions of my life.   Splurging on unique invitations by Trish at Embellishments.   Throw a party in our suite at the Trump the next day. Our room was too big and too nice not to share with beautiful views. This was not preplanned...we decided that morning and texted and called our guests. We went to the store and got some liquor and snacks and popped in our Ipod into the player in the room and had a great time before we went to Club Poetry.   Reserve a VIP area at a Vegas club. Since our reception was more of a yacht cruise with just slow dancing and romantic music...we booked the club area for the next evening for some dancing. This was one of the highlights of the event. I would definitely do this again! Club Poetry was amazing and gave us great service. P Diddy and Donny from Making the Band were there. We had such a good time.   Rent an Audi SUV. It came in handy having to transport family around and carrying all our luggage and boxes of wedding items. It was fun to drive and stylish. It was a mixed thing though....we did get tired of giving rides and picking people up ....and driving up and down the strip is exhausting. We have such awful commutes in DC already that having to spend so much time driving was a pain. We had assumed our moms/grandmoms would just get to certain places we were having things on the Strip by catching a taxi or something but they called us all the time so we drove a lot.   Do my own hair and makeup. I was rushing near the end so I didn't get to do all the fancy makeup tricks that I had wanted to do but I don't think it mattered much and my pics came out more natural looking. I had bought fake lashes and forgot to use concealer but it came out fine. I set my hair with mousse and rollers for lots of curls and just pulled the sides back and used pearl/crystal pins along the sides and the middle....voila...bridal hair. I had left foam rollers in all day so my curls would not fall. I had played with the style before I left so I did it like about 2 minutes before I walked out to go down the aisle. It came out just fine and I am glad I didn't spend extra money on this.   Edit the pastor's script. We personalized it with our own wording and also added a charge to the family and friends who had to say "I do" to the pastors charge to provide emotional support to us during our marriage. Everyone loved this and it made them feel more a part of the ceremony.   I would not:   Stress about hemming my table runners. I was hemming these with hem tape in the finals days and as it got closer and I didn't have time I was just leaving the edges raw cut...no one noticed or cared. Much wasted time...they were cut in a straight line and that was sufficient and they looked nice as is.   Try to buy a new car during the week before my wedding. My transmission died on my car before we left for the wedding and I have a long work commute so I was pressed to find a new vehicle before I left because a brand was having a sales event. It added more stress having to research cars, test drive, etc.   Stay in Honolulu, Oahu again...we split time with Kauai because my husband wanted to have a "city experience" so it was a compromise. Honolulu was like being in hectic DC and Vegas all over again with traffic and not much that we can't already get at home in the city. He ended up agreeing that he wishes we had more time in Kauai and had just stayed there the whole time. While on Oahu we spent most of our time driving to things that were closer to the North Shore. If I stay on Oahu again I would stay someplace other than the Honolulu area. I am glad we did a private home rental in Kahala though versus staying in Waikiki hotels.   Wait until the last minute to finalize burning our music CDs and making the DVD slideshow. I figured it would be quick easy based on past experiences and I ended up having technical problems. I was up all night the night before we left and instead of packing I was frantically trying to burn the music from my Itunes playlist to CDs for the ceremony and reception music and get a photo slideshow to burn to DVD. Neither was working and I kept getting errors up until the taxi arrived to go to the airport. I had still not packed and had to frantically throw a bunch of stuff in suitcases while the taxi waited and while my fiance freaked out. I finally just burned the slideshow file to CD and hoped I could find someone to get it on DVD in Vegas. I also got the CDs to burn after I updated my computer programs like seconds before we pulled off! The photo/video studio for my chapel only used Mac programs and couldnt do anything with my Windows based file but they tracked down a retired colleague for me who was so nice to do it for us. We went to his home in Vegas and he made it loop a few times and put it on DVD for us. He even made backup copies of all our music for us and formatted them to be sure they would play in all versions of CD players. What an angel!   Do dinner at the Wynn buffet the next day with the family. I heard it was one of the best. Our guests that liked seafood loved it for the king crab legs etc. but the buffet was just OK to me. They did have a wide selection though. I wasn't wowed by anything I had. My southern grandma was not familiar with most of the foods...sushi etc...a lot of the choices were too fancy. The sushi was not great...I've had way better. I couldn't finish the one piece I had. We shoudl have done Maggianos or something like that instead.   Play slot machines...I generally always lose on these.   Don't forget to reapply lipstick and touch up make up throughout the evening. I did forget ...and notice in pics that my makeup had faded after eating and as the night went on.   I wouldn't spend so much time helping with the setup before the wedding. The caterer kept telling me to leave and that they had it but the control freak in me had to stay and help do my gift bags. I am glad I was there to help give some direction for a few things that they weren't sure what I wanted done. I had shipped boxes of my decor and favors direct to the caterer with written instructions. But once I had given the guidance and showed how the favor bags would be set up...I should have left. By the time I got back to the room to start getting ready my family had started arriving and distracted me for the final hours. I ran out of time and didn't get to get my nails touched up as the french tips white part started coming off. They were like that at the wedding ...I had to hide my hands all night!   Be clearer on the RSVP card about what # of guests means. Some put 1 but meant just themselves and some meant themselves plus one. My headcount was off at the end. I am torn about the use of RSVP cards. Out of 60 invitations I got 20 RSVPs back in the mail and maybe 5 by email via our website. We had about 6 people not show who RSVPd yes and never updated us that they were not coming and some who even confirmed the week prior that they were coming. $700+ down the drain. Completely inconsiderate. One of them has offered to send money to cover their spot. I'm sure there is more...I'll add later.

[Alyssa]

this is one of my favorite threads - i can't believe i can finally post to it!

 

What I would do again:

· Marry my DH – he is an amazing man and an even better husband!

· Have a DW wedding!

· Get married in Hawaii – even with the distance – it is one of the most beautiful settings and for a lot of our guests – a once in a lifetime trip

· Kona Village – all day – that place is insane!

· Have a large bridal party – my friends and I have been together through so many good and bad times – it really wouldn’t have been the same without them!

· Bring our own stuff to decorate the reception tables

· Spend time/$ on nice paper products

· OOT Bags – our guests loved them and used a lot of the stuff while we were there!

· Paid per drink and not open bar – we saved SO MUCH $$$ and even went under budget on this item!

· Ask our guests to all wear shades of tan/white/beige – it was very cool and I can’t wait to see the group pics from Mark/Gwyne

· Ask one of our good friends to videotape – we are so grateful to have our ceremony on tape and can’t wait to see the DVD!

· Have a WC – especially for the day-of – LIFESAVER!

· Make sure we had a super gourmet, high-end menu – our guests (and us) LOVED it and are still talking about it!

· Ship stuff out to HI before hand (since it is USPS it was not that expensive and saved us a lot of extra carrying of stuff and bags)

· Check our luggage all the way through and not really have any carry-ons

· Boudoir photos – my DH loves his book and now I get the young, sexy pics for when I am pregnant / old.

· Spent the night with FI before the wedding – it was such a special time and energy in the air – I wouldn’t have wanted to wake up without him there.

· Get there a couple days early to get settled in

· Have our own, private honeymoon on a different Island for a week

 

What I would have done differently:

· Have my hair done at the salon (only b/c where we got ready was not air conditioned)

· Left enough time to do a walk through of the ceremony and reception sites before getting dressed

· Left more time for pictures (although Mark & Gwyne said they got 1500 pics over the 4 days so who knows) but I know we missed a couple family pics I wanted to get – I don’t think DH and I left enough time.

· Pre-assembled the OOT bags into Ziploc bags I could have just emptied into the canvas bags – we wasted a lot of time assembling them when we got there.

· I would have liked to have a prepared speech for our reception to thank everyone and all that – I was too excited and nervous and mumbled something stupid and then said ‘go eat’ or something lol

 

What I wouldn’t do again:

· Stress out so much the first 2 days – I was so worried about assembling the OOT bags and all that stuff I didn’t even stop to enjoy being in Hawaii for at least 36 hours – that was stupid!

· Invite all my bridesmaids, moms and other friends to get ready together (12 in total) – it was way to chaotic and actually stressed me out – my fault

· Pack so much extra stuff that we really didn’t need

[Blkatz]

this is my favorite thread! I love to hear everyone's after thoughts-it really helps me through the planning stages

[blkladylaw]

and more thoughts....

 

I Would NOT

 

suggest getting there the day prior to...I wish I had more time to get settled in and take care of final details but hubby is in grad school and didn't want to miss 2 weeks of class vs. just 1 for the honeymoon

 

forget to prepare a speech ahead of time or at least think about what to say...I skipped it and let hubby do it for us

 

suggest that our moms, grandmoms, 2 family friends that came with my mom and my 3 close girlfriends all get ready in the bridal suite with me beforehand or at least have them arrive earlier or already dressed; they arrived around 3:30pm wedding starts at 5pm; 3:30-4:15 was greetings, the awh my baby is getting married moments, a bunch of questions, trying to get them all together to head to the bridal suite next to the chapel and me trying to finish packing up my things to checkout of the hotel at the Lake so we could go to the other hotel on the Vegas Strip for the rest of our stay; then I was in a mad rush 4:15- 5pm to get ready and do my makeup and get dressed while fielding a zillion requests for bobby pins, makeup, borrowing curling iron, nail clippers, etc etc which all stressed me out; one of my girlfriends finally locked the door to my separate lil area in the suite so I could focus and de-stress while she helped me finish; all the while the wedding chapel coordinator was giving countdowns and pressing us to come out so I just put on basic everyday makeup....foundation, lipstick, blush and eyeliner....never got to eyeshadows and concealer or the sealant to prevent sweating off makeup or false lashes; I ended up going down the aisle a lil late

 

I would DO AGAIN

 

no formal bridal party....my closest 3 friends were there and did everything a bridesmaid would do except walk down aisle and stand for me...they got to just have fun and wear what they wanted; no stress in organizing other people...it was perfect I highly recommend skipping bridesmaids/groomsmen

...especially for older brides like myself; our parents and grandparents went down the aisle and my brother escorted me in his military dress uniform...it was perfect; they were all told what to do right before they walked out; no rehearsal dinner required

 

have my brother escort me down the aisle in lieu of father who I am far less close to....he looked so sharp in his military uniform and it was a special moment between us before he leaves for Iraq in the spring that we will never forget

[blkladylaw]

Alyssa we got married on the same day!

 

this is one of my favorite threads - i can't believe i can finally post to it!

[mrslbs]

i am obsessed with this thread - soooo helpful, keep them coming!!