Adults Only? How To Tell Family/Friends w/ Kids?

[hoyt75]

Hi ladies! We decided to have an adults only dw, and we booked at an adults only resort, but how do you tell family and friends that have little ones that it's adults only. Despite what many may think we're not children haters! We love kids! Their are just so many children between both of our families and friends, that it would be insane!

 

The worst part is that no matter how many times we've politely told his brother and wife that we're having an adults only wedding, they still don't get it. She's even accused me of not loving her children!

 

So.... Who else is doing an adults only wedding, and how the heck did you tell your (potentailly crazy) family members and friends! I NEED HELP!

[FutureMrsRell]

We just flat out said it! We basically said "We want YOU to have fun!" We love kids too... especially our nephews and niece, but it's just not practical to have them at a resort all week. We are also having an AHR that is adult only (besides the two nephews and niece) but I let my mom tell our family friends that one would be adult only too! LOL! Some didn't take it so great, but whatever... like the kid is really going remember it?!?! It's YOUR day... MAKE it YOUR day! =)

[CristiandJamie]

I'm the only one left of my friends to get married and guess what... everyone of my friends got grilled by someone or some family member about something they did or didnt do at their wedding. There will ALWAYS be someone that will complain about what you are doing so I wouldnt worry about it.

 

I'm sure there are people complaining that I'm not getting married in TX or OH or even CO where we both live right now (I'm from the fort worth area too and he is from Cincinnati).

 

Do what makes you happy... I agree with FutureMsRell that it is your day! Also the ones that are complaining are most likely already married and HAD THEIR DAY! If they say you are being selfish, they should look into the mirror.

 

Sorry for the venting... but I know how you feel!

 

Cristi

[CristiandJamie]

It's me again....

 

Also I had a friend that had a destination wedding as well and changed her resort just so that her best friends kid could attend and you know what.... they didnt even go!

 

Again it's your day and dont make decisions based on what other people want (unless they are paying for your day then that might be different).

[vdaybride]

Be prepared that some of your family and friends won't make the wedding due to childcare issues or because they feel slighted. I say it is your day and if you don't want children, then stick to your guns! Good luck!!

[jk1101]

We're having an adults only wedding. My STDs and invitations were addressed just to the people invited...so "Jane and John Doe" rather than "The Doe Family". We have had to explain to people, sometimes over and over again, that we don't have kids and don't want them at the wedding and if they don't like it, they can stay somewhere else, or not come. It's our day and we're doing what we want. My sister has 2 little kids, who I love very much, and they aren't invited either. My sister knows I love them, I just don't love children at weddings.

 

Stay strong!

[Vikki]

We chose an adult only for our wedding and it was great. In fact my MIL's favorite part about the resort was that there were no children. Weddings are about you and your FI celebrating the beginning of your life together, not a family reunion or vacation. If they insist on having children make sure they understand they will have to stay off the resort and probably won't be involved in most of the activities planned for the other guests because of resort restrictions. Most adult only resorts allow day passes for children for weddings-but they are expensive and restrictive.

 

Good luck and stick to your plans, don't let anyone force you to change them.

[Outdoor_girl1010]

My FI has a 4 yr old little girl and it was his decision that she is not going. He felt that it was unfair to ask someone to watch her while they are on a trip and he didn't think it was fair to us either. The only thing is there is a big age gap between me and my borther I have a 15 yr old brother who is going. He has a sister that has a 15 year old son and a 11 year old daughter. My brother is going, but we told her no kids and she didn't under. My FI told her that is her brother and it would be like telling you or his other sister they can't go. I know her kid is the same age as my brother, but how I see it is he is my brother not someone kid. He was a little upset about it first, but I think she gets it now. And oh yea if her 15 yr old was coming then her 11 year would have to come too.

[carolina24]

I also addressed the STDs to specific people, and we have it listed very cleary on the website that there are NO children or "plus ones" allowed. Like everyone has said, it's YOUR day and no matter what you do, someone will be unhappy...be firm and stick to your guns!!

[*Krista*]

I too, am having a no children, all the family understood when it was explained to them, however, we did have one cousin who "assumed" she could bring her daughter because her husband is not coming, so she could come in his place. That was a hard conversation, but it had to be done. It wouldn't be fair for her to bring her daughter, and not allow all my other cousins - who I am actually much closer - with not to come....stick to your guns ladies! It's your day!