BMs aren't asking about throwing a shower ~ what should I do?

[sjmacphe]

Hey Jackobelle,

Just wanted to give you a shout out - I can totally see this same thing happening to me! I am sort of regretting my choice for MOH, not because we aren't close but because she is a new mom (and has a toddler) and very stressed/overwhelmed, also I am a control freak (who knew?) and a planner so its very tough for me not to want to know far in advance how its all going to work. I am trying to take deep breaths and just let things unfold the way they were meant to be. I think like the other ladies have said, maybe they are wrapped up with Christmas/holiday planning right now and if you still haven't heard anything from them in the next month or so maybe give them a call and maybe just ask if they wanted any addresses for your shower...At least you definitely have one shower, even if it is not the one you had envisioned - it is better than nothing. Hang in there! Let us know how it goes

[sjmacphe]

Hey Jackobelle,

Just wanted to give you a shout out - I can totally see this same thing happening to me! I am sort of regretting my choice for MOH, not because we aren't close but because she is a new mom (and has a toddler) and very stressed/overwhelmed, also I am a control freak (who knew?) and a planner so its very tough for me not to want to know far in advance how its all going to work. I am trying to take deep breaths and just let things unfold the way they were meant to be. I think like the other ladies have said, maybe they are wrapped up with Christmas/holiday planning right now and if you still haven't heard anything from them in the next month or so maybe give them a call and maybe just ask if they wanted any addresses for your shower...Try to be thankful at least you definitely have one shower, even if it is not the one you had envisioned - it is better than nothing. Hang in there! Let us know how it goes

[classadiva]

I agree that perhaps they are waiting to throw a shower much closer in time to teh wedding....most that I knwo of are within one month of the wedding. Why don't you have your Mom, M-I-L or family member ask the MOH if they are planning on throwing a shower because there will be a family shower and they want to make sure that the dates don't conflict?

 

My guess is that they are throwing you a shower..if not...why even ask to begin with? THAT would not be nice at all!!

[jackobelle]

Thanks for all the advice! I guess you guys are right, probably best to wait until the craziness of the holidays is over. Sjmacphe, I am such a planner too! I have to have everything organized well in advance, and it is difficult for me to understand when others don't! I was the MOH for one of my BMs and I had her bachelorette and shower planned months in advance, but apparently most people don't do things like that!

 

I had a good friend who is not in my wedding party ask about my shower & bachelorette today and I told her the situation. She said she has been thinking of some ideas for me that she'd like to help my BMs with and asked for their email addresses! I guess she is going to get the ball rolling!

 

Thanks again for all the suggestions! I'll let you know how it works out.

[ddk5576]

I am soo glad you posted this and you all have helped out tremendously! I have a similar dilemma.

Jackobelle- I am glad to hear things are moving right along now! I only hope I have the same luck!!

[nsimpson]

For the sake of calming your own nerves...ask, and ask with just a tad of urgency in your voice! I'm sure that if they're not already planning it, your questioning will give them a much needed push in getting started!

[barcelo1162010]

I would mention to them that your MIL is trying to plan the shower she is throwing for you. That you are trying to decide who all to invite to it; so just double checking if they were still planning on throwing one for you to...so you know which one to invite different people to. I would guess they are planning on it; March is still a ways off...right now everyone is worried about their christmas plans.

[jackobelle]

Thanks for the advice ladies! I talked to one of my BMs and mentioned, like you guys suggested that my FMIL is having a family shower and I was wondering if they still wanted to do a friend one for me...she was totally fine with me asking. I do think that it had slipped her mind, but she fully intended on doing it. We deided to wait until after christmas to make firm plans. I feel SO much better now knowing that it wasn't forgotten completely!

Thanks again for all the suggestions.

 

Sjmacphe - I hope your BMs don't forget about your shower, but maybe if you want to plan well ahead of time you could talk to your MOH and tell her you know how busy she is with her little one so maybe if she started planning early it wouldn't seem like so much all at once. ?? Good luck!

[foxytv]

My BM's kept dragging their feet over the bachelorette thing, so I planned it myself and invited a few close friends and we went to the beach for the weekend.

 

I had a non-BM plan my friends shower. I don't think there is anything wrong with planning your own bachelorette party (obviously, since I planned my own, lol).

 

Are you close to your parents (distance-wise)? If yes, then perhaps have your Mom contact a BM and ask if they are going to be doing a shower or if she needs to include your friends as well. Having Mom step in should get them off their butts.

[foxytv]

Hey jackobelle - lol, I just read the rest of the thread after posting and your response and see I am too late, but glad that you've got it worked out and that my advice about the shower was in line with what you decided to do!