breakup or forgive & not forget

[SusieQ]

Just me, I wouldn't be getting married right now. I have been through a bad marraige and one thing I have learned is don't go into one with issues already!!!!!!!!!!

If you love him and he loves you, those feelings will be there next year or the year after once he has come clean a 100% and dealt with his issues. marraige and a couple kids will only add to his stress and temptation to return to his addictions. My 2cents!!!

[karenk77]

honestly? and i told his mom this already..if it wasnt away then id 100% cancel it...my major problem(and a major pressure point) is that we already have 20 rooms booked, i have family from other countries that have booked, cali has booked..and more to come

and i know people will say dont worry about them better sooner then later, but i cant help feeling bad if that were to happen.

[*Linds*]

karen- as you already know my heart truely goes out to you! I cannot imagine how you are feeling. Try to put everyone else aside. If people that had booked and such were not a factor what would you do? This is the rest of your life we are talking about here...

 

I'm still saying work through it. Not a single relationship is without problems and getting married is about learning to work through the problems and not just give up and walk away. He probably needs your love and support to help him trhough his problem. It sounds like you need to hear him say he will do WHATEVER it takes to make ti work with you. Do you even know what it would take?

 

I've been following this non stop because I've been worrying about you since I read this!

[Destination Scout]

I have to say that I agree with Sammysgirl. I am so sorry that you are going through this. While you two can probably work through this, this is not a good way to start your life together.

The trip is a completely different issue. Can people get their deposits back? How much would you lose if you covered the cancellation? If you don't want to cancel the trip, just cancel the wedding and make it a vacation. Change the purpose of the trip and have a smaller wedding when you are ready.

[karenk77]

ok so update: i called his mom earlier today and basically told her i need to talk to her because im thinking of canceling the whole thing, and his parents love me, we have an amazing relationship, so his dad called him told him to come their after work and i went there..we had a talk, i basically told them exactly how i feel what i will and wont be willing to put up with they ofcourse agreed with me because ud have to be nuts not too, they said give it one last chance, i said i couldnt (which i dont know if thats true or not lol) and we just got home...check back in a abit lol

[karenk77]

awwwwwwww thanks sammygirl

[pinayflava]

Awww...i am hoping for the best and sending well wishes - please keep us updated!

[karenk77]

nothin new..we got home he passed out and im still confused! lol

[karenk77]

meanwhile i told the videographer id be booking his trip this week and i cant do that either lol, its like a joke..i give all my friends the best advice have kept couples together for looking at the bright sides of everything and then i get these cards dealt?

how? lol

[*Linds*]

Its hard Karen. I think you really have no choice but to do some serious soul searching, but you seriously remind me a lot of myself which is why I have become some worried about this. If your FI is willing to do whatever you may possibly require of him to fix this I think the right thing to do is to forgive and work through it.

 

One day you will need forgiveness from him...it is just inevitable.

 

My FI and i have been through a lot in our 3 years and I know that because of our really difficult times we will have a lasting marriage...

 

Keep me posted on how you are doing. Your FI must be emotionally exhausted and I would imagine you would be even more so. Try to do something that you enjoy to take your mind off of things..a nice massage or something? Just a thought!