Sister in law help!

[jo&delo2010]

The final straw...she's prego now! She should be about 6 months at the time of the wedding.

 

I wish her a healthy preg. and a healthy baby! But you dont know how its gonna go and if she can even fly to Mexico. I even found out she had a miscarriage at the end of aug....so I dont know why shes already prego again. I think you are supp to wait 3 months. She came out running with the prego stick in her hand yelling its positive. I almost died! I think after having a miscarriage I would def. wait 3 months before telling the whole dam family...but thats me.

 

She had never been interested in the wedding and caused a huge problem at our engagement party. She is one of my bridesmaids (not my choice) and she didnt help them do a thing! She came 2 hours late and left early. She told my FI best friend that she doesnt understand why we are getting married so fast. BTW we are both 30 and it will be a month shy of 3 years that we have been together. She said alot of other stuff as well...at our home at our engagement party.

 

I have tried so hard to do stuff for her because it is his little sister. Neither of us got anything last year for our bdays or christmas....well she did send my card 2 weeks after my birthday. Its the thought that counts..right ? lol

 

I told my FI, im not jealous that she prego...its just that I dont have my mom anymore and I do seek that attention from his mom. (inside info) They treat her like the princess and their son not as good...I have seen it for myself! She got a 1600.00 LV bag and he got a 300 bracelet. They dont treat them = at all! So I guess i feel now that shes prego it will all be focused on her. I just want my day 2..like she had and everyone else. I told him if my mom were here and the majority of my family was going to the wedding I prob. wouldnt care what she does.

 

I'm really trying to focus on the positive!!!!! But its hard!

[Girasole]

That really sucks. My FI's brother & his wife got pregnant after we announced our wedding and plans. They are due at the end of December so I doubt that they will be attending the wedding in May with a 5 month old. I felt horrible because my FI really wanted his brother by his side but I decided that we are going to have fun, no matter who is there & celebrate our time together & our love. As much as we want them there we are still going to have fun & not let it ruin our day if they don't show up. Just think about how much fun u will have in Mexico with your future husband : )

 

Chrissy

[jo&delo2010]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Girasole That really sucks. My FI's brother & his wife got pregnant after we announced our wedding and plans. They are due at the end of December so I doubt that they will be attending the wedding in May with a 5 month old. I felt horrible because my FI really wanted his brother by his side but I decided that we are going to have fun, no matter who is there & celebrate our time together & our love. As much as we want them there we are still going to have fun & not let it ruin our day if they don't show up. Just think about how much fun u will have in Mexico with your future husband : ) Chrissy

For his sake I hope she goes! For mine I hope she stays home It should be interesting to see what happens!

His brother might go....cant the baby stay with her mother..unless she breast feeding or something.

[snoopAsh]

She sounds like a hassle. I wouldn't want her to come.

 

Just my opinion.

[IrishgirlinNY]

Your story sounds so familiar.

My fiances brother and his wife are having a baby about 10 mths before our wedding. He has said that they cant go, which really dissappointed him..he is the best man. He actually, as of now, changed his maind and said he is coming by himself, his wife and the baby will stay home.

His mother is also treats her 3 sons completely unequally, at the low end of the stick is my fiance. Both the other brothers are married. Got generous gifts and there is no gift in our future.

My mother passed away. I think this tops it all. It is the worst way to plan a wedding...without your mom. I have been leaning on my best friend (best friend for 18 yrs) and my sister. My future mother in law isnt the easiest person to deal with and isnt exactly the person that I want to try to lean on through the wedding process.

I know how hard it is to stay positive. All I think of is how this is supposed to be the best time of my life. It is never going to happen again. Its definitely hard.

Try to strong and think of what your mother would want you to have and feel. That is what is getting me through it. Whatever happens with your in laws, there is nothing that can change it. Just go with what happens. That is what I have come to accept.

Good luck!

[carolina24]

Ok, I understand that you want this to be your day and it really sucks that she's been so negative about things, but you can't be upset that she's pregnant so soon, that's her life, not yours. I also think that a wedding is about the couple!! I'm not a fan of having bridesmaids b/c you have to include someone. She has said horrible things about you as a couple and there is no need for you to put up with that for the sake of the family. In the end she is their daughter and her pregancy is going to overshadow your wedding, it sucks but it's the truth. On the other hand, the pregnancy is a perfect way for you to veto her as a BM (in a nice way). In the end, you are going to have to be the bigger person and decide how you want your day to be. Let go of the negative and focus on you and your FI, you're the only ones that really matter!!

[josee]

Don't know what to say... except how sorry I am for both of you. I sure hope that even if she's pregnant that she will allow you to have your DAY!!

[boscobel]

I'm sorry that you feel that she brings negativity to everything related to your / your wedding. But I think you may need to take a step back. This is YOUR wedding, not hers. You are living your life, and she is living hers. Sometimes we lose sight of the fact that not everyone's life is revolved around our weddings. I know I had those moments anyway. But you really can't be mad that she's pregnant. The fact that she recently suffered a miscarriage is all the more reason for you to be understanding of what she's been thru.

[Holly22]

I guess I have to read the whole thread because how can you be upset with someone for being pregnant? I guess it can go two ways. Maybe she is not being supportive about your wedding but now your not being supportive of her pregnancy. I would assume she came out running happy because miscarriages are devastating. She went through something horrible and is probably happy. Maybe in a nice way say it might be easier for her not to be in the wedding party? That way its not as much pressure on you. Thats the hard part about destination weddings. Not everyone can make it for personal reasons. My best friend just got married. She told me they are trying to get pregnant so we thought it was best for her to not be in the wedding party. My wedding is in April as well. If she doesn't then I will try and add her in later.

 

I'm sure alot of the focus will be on her. She is having their grandchild. I don't think she got pregnant to ruin your wedding. As long as you and your soon to be hubby are there I'm sure it will be perfect! Try not to stress... Its so hard not to tho : )

[pineapple princess]

OMG. Bless your heart! Relax, Relate, Release!!!

 

Just remember that you love love love your FI and the reason you are having her as your BM is for him, not her. Honestly, who cares if she is prego or not, or involved or not? If it doesn't bother your FI, the less she is involved the easiest it is on you right?

 

Remember that this day is about you and your FI and at the end of the day, YOU will be the one all dolled up and walking down the aisle (or the sand).

 

I promise you that she cannot take away from your day! Just make sure you keep inviting her to things and such -aka, keep making the effort. You want to make sure that you don't end up looking like the evil one!!!!

 

I know it is hard to keep positive, and i would be lying if i said that she was not going to get extra attention. especially if this is the first grandchild. But your wedding day will still be your wedding day!! And your SIL, pregnant or not, cannot change that.

 

But that is what we are here for. To remind you the reasons to stay positive when it is hard. We are all going through one thing or another.

 

HUGS!!!