MOH who says shes coming but still no response..

[purpleshells]

thats what i decided to not have any in the end

[purpleshells]

so heres the final update.....we spoke last night...... I said I was not quite sure what she was trying to say in the email..she said, she was simply sorry and i said for what? she said for not being able to come.... I said well you did not mention that in the email but I figured since you ignored me for 2 1/2 months you werent. then she became silent.... I then said what was the big deal if you could not come because of school.plenty ppl cannot come thats part of a DW it does not bother me, I knew this from the get go that most people would not be able to attend. silence again.... I said, are you sure thats the real reason you ignored me for almost 3 months......silence............................... .................................................. ............................................... then I got upset with her not really sounding that sorry or that caring about the whole situation; U know your lucky I was able to bring your MOH dress back,eh? silence...................... I said well happy new year, wish you the best good luck with everything.......and once again silence....

 

and that was the end of that friendship.....

[*Linds*]

Jessica- wow! I can't believe that's how the situation turned out!!!! I have a BM that I am 50/50 about her doing the same thing to me. I love her to death, but she is extremely unreliable.....

 

Sorry you are dleaing with this so soon before your big day, but it sounds like you have been extremely realistic and reasonable!

 

Wishing you the happiest possible wedding day!

[Stephers09]

I am going through the same thing!

wow, its really unfortunate that we all seem to be losing our MOH's! people that are so close to us

I mean i understand if people can't make it for money reasons, school etc, but they need to be upfront and honest right from the start - do accept your position if you are on the rocks about it...

[purpleshells]

i know!!! I mean really, whats so hard... "sorry we cannot make it"...but people seem to choose the most hurtful ways in telling you.... lets ignore them for months and hope they will understand. like um.....are you human, this is a wedding we are talking about, not coffee....

[justgotengaged...nowwhat?]

Hi everyone - just curious how long you girls have given your MOH's/BM to decide and tell you yes or no about coming to your wedding? This seems to be very common - important people backing out or treating you like the plague when they don't want to tell you they can't make it. What a shame! I suppose we have all gone through this.

My fiance's best man is his cousin, and he has not booked yet (he lives in another state, far away). Our wedding is in April, the 26th. How long should I give him to book, before mentioning to my fiance to ask another of his friends to be his BM? My fiance is almost TOO nice and does not want to nag his cousin, but we are getting down to the wire here and I am getting anxious! He did tell us he ordered his passport, and we are going to help the BM and other groomsman with their wedding atire - but I think we should have a deadline to get a final answer from him.

 

Thoughts?

[purpleshells]

i had given everyone a deadline...sent the invitations 2 months prior.

[purpleshells]

8 months before the wedding

[SusieQ]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jstar83 8 months before the wedding

Just my thoughts here... you have started a new and wonderful chapter in your life and sometimes when one door opens another closes. I really don't think your friend had put her heart around where you are right now in your lif and what you needed from her... damn straight answer would have covered it... If she said up front.. Love you but just can not do this at this time!!! you would have been disappointed but moved on. Instead she needed to get the whole feel of "oh she really wants me to go and if I leave it last minute, it'll be about how hard I tried and I didn't quit trying to come until the last minute when i knew it was impossible... It became about her and her struggle to get things together and come to your wedding...
Amagine you could have choose this same person to be godparent to you future child.... yeah sweetie let that door close, open the new door to your life...

[kerrij]

I'm another one going through something similar. I think girls are more sensitive to all this, especially when they are single or just broke up, i'm goign through it with someone too, she keeps telling me that we are in "differnet chapters in our lives" i'm like, why?! just cause i'm getting married? i still do everything the same as before, we still hang out we still chat, but now it's different, i hate it.

one girl commented, friends stick together through good times and bad...and well it sounds like you tried to stick through for months, but your friend just let you go, she didnt stick through. sucks. i'm sorry you went through that...just keep smiling and know you have a man that you will always have as your best friend for the rest of your life.