Biggest Destination Wedding Stress factor - what's yours?

[TinkerSofi]

@@calgarybride2015 the resort is actually set up so it has like a corridor down to the beach, they have tennis courts and things like that along the way and apparently I've read somewhere that they have golf carts to go back and forth during the day if you really need it. I never thought it was a big deal because after all you eat so much on an all inclusive that a bit of a walk really won't hurt anyone. The only downside is that you can't go back and forth to the room 100 times during the day but that's ok. 

 

I was looking at some other hotels and the cheapest thing right now for that week is $1500, for a lesser quality hotel. My fiance explained that we're getting married and that's why we didn't chose something for $1300. It might be awesome for a vacation, but not really wedding material. Also, if they're thinking of paying for day passes 2 days that $160 already, so I mean, you might as well book with the group. We're not paying for their day passes and my fiance made that very clear to them. It's enough that we have to pay for them to attend the wedding while not getting any perks. They're really not helping us in numbers to get a free cocktail hour or other free events (i know this sounds super selfish haha but it's only because I know that they could easily afford to go). The only plus side is that because we're having a private reception the day pass for the wedding day is free. 

 

@@NJBride2014 I would also be extremely mad that he's trying to convince others to do the same. I have friends who are students and they're coming to our hotel and these guys who are graduated in a profession where they make good money are saying they can't go. We explained to them that they can pay per month, but apparently even $200 a month is too much. Grr, I'm super upset. My fiance said that it's not a big deal to him but I could tell from his tone of voice that he was pretty hurt. 

[calgarybride2015]

@@calgarybride2015 the resort is actually set up so it has like a corridor down to the beach, they have tennis courts and things like that along the way and apparently I've read somewhere that they have golf carts to go back and forth during the day if you really need it. I never thought it was a big deal because after all you eat so much on an all inclusive that a bit of a walk really won't hurt anyone. The only downside is that you can't go back and forth to the room 100 times during the day but that's ok. 

 

I was looking at some other hotels and the cheapest thing right now for that week is $1500, for a lesser quality hotel. My fiance explained that we're getting married and that's why we didn't chose something for $1300. It might be awesome for a vacation, but not really wedding material. Also, if they're thinking of paying for day passes 2 days that $160 already, so I mean, you might as well book with the group. We're not paying for their day passes and my fiance made that very clear to them. It's enough that we have to pay for them to attend the wedding while not getting any perks. They're really not helping us in numbers to get a free cocktail hour or other free events (i know this sounds super selfish haha but it's only because I know that they could easily afford to go). The only plus side is that because we're having a private reception the day pass for the wedding day is free. 

 

@@NJBride2014 I would also be extremely mad that he's trying to convince others to do the same. I have friends who are students and they're coming to our hotel and these guys who are graduated in a profession where they make good money are saying they can't go. We explained to them that they can pay per month, but apparently even $200 a month is too much. Grr, I'm super upset. My fiance said that it's not a big deal to him but I could tell from his tone of voice that he was pretty hurt. 

 

Your description actually sounds like most of the resorts in the Mayan unless you get an oceanview!  They are large and spread out.  While not my first choice (I liked our smaller resort in Varadero better) it isn't the end of the world.  I didn't find I needed to make much trips back to the room, just packed the things I thought I would need with me.   Everyone is different though.     August 2015 is a way away and you could easily save up!  We only gave our guests 8 months, which even still gives people time if they wanted too.  PS - and that isn't selfish!! especially given their excuses, it's actually a great argument too.  Never thought about them paying the day pass and it being the same cost in the end.   I would be super upset if they are the groomsmen too.   My fiance has 2 of his living in Mexico. His brother/wife are definitely paying to stay for the week because it means a lot to fiance.  Unsure re the other one because he has been flaky even being in the wedding party. 

[kmk2016]

@@calgarybride2015 when the tour operators set up your contracts, they have an attrition rate (high and low) so your 30 person contract likely had an attrition that allowed 50 people which is why it wasn't an issue for you to add more guests. (This is standard in hotel contracts), my problem is I have now gone over the attrition threshold (50 people booked the package with a other 20-30 still to book) so sunwing needs to price out a new contract. When I booked originally there was a sale that lowered the taxes significantly, which is now no longer in effect so even if he rate stays the same- the new contract will be $200/pp more expensive. Argggg

Edited August 14, 2014 by kmk2016

[calgarybride2015]

@@calgarybride2015 when the tour operators set up your contracts, they have an attrition rate (high and low) so your 30 person contract likely had an attrition that allowed 50 people which is why it wasn't an issue for you to add more guests. (This is standard in hotel contracts), my problem is I have now gone over the attrition threshold (50 people booked the package with a other 20-30 still to book) so sunwing needs to price out a new contract. When I booked originally there was a sale that lowered the taxes significantly, which is now no longer in effect so even if he rate stays the same- the new contract will be $200/pp more expensive. Argggg

 

We got 25% more space but we went over that in seats, and blew it out of the water in rooms, because I had way more book as singles then I ever thought I would.

 

That really sucks that this promotion is no longer in effect.   I also feared the same for my guests, so I kept telling them that it was based on availability  (basically you snooze you lose - although noone wants that for their guests).  Hopefully since you are booking a lot of people thru them (which I think they should consider) that your TA can pull some strings and the price will stand as is.  Good luck!

[kmk2016]

We got 25% more space but we went over that in seats, and blew it out of the water in rooms, because I had way more book as singles then I ever thought I would.

 

That really sucks that this promotion is no longer in effect. I also feared the same for my guests, so I kept telling them that it was based on availability (basically you snooze you lose - although noone wants that for their guests). Hopefully since you are booking a lot of people thru them (which I think they should consider) that your TA can pull some strings and the price will stand as is. Good luck!

 

Yup keeping everything crossed! I'm sure it will work out- I was just surprised that after only 1 month we are completely sold out on our contract with so many of our guests still to book. I was warning them too (and apparently lots listened) but for some I think they figured so long as they booked by the deadline (or a few weeks before) they would be safe! Haha- who knew I had so many planners in my circle! One of the girls who hasn't yet booked is my BM and has more money than anyone else in my bridal party. (Made millions in a recent divorce). She originally said she was going to wait for a seat sale- but when the booking info came out I told her this wasn't an option. She didn't book... Even after the other girls all kept on each other to book. Oh well...I'm not chasing her again and her price will be more- I'm not worried. I am paying for their dresses so will not do so for her until she is booked. Funny part is, I bought my bridal party tickets to Katy Perry later this month so all 6 of us are going together and I'm sure it will come up then since everyone else has paid.... We will see what she does!

[TinkerSofi]

Your description actually sounds like most of the resorts in the Mayan unless you get an oceanview!  They are large and spread out.  While not my first choice (I liked our smaller resort in Varadero better) it isn't the end of the world.  I didn't find I needed to make much trips back to the room, just packed the things I thought I would need with me.   Everyone is different though.     August 2015 is a way away and you could easily save up!  We only gave our guests 8 months, which even still gives people time if they wanted too.  PS - and that isn't selfish!! especially given their excuses, it's actually a great argument too.  Never thought about them paying the day pass and it being the same cost in the end.   I would be super upset if they are the groomsmen too.   My fiance has 2 of his living in Mexico. His brother/wife are definitely paying to stay for the week because it means a lot to fiance.  Unsure re the other one because he has been flaky even being in the wedding party. 

Yeah I think the resort is pretty big. My whole life when I went to the ocean we always rented apartments that were a few blocks from the beach so we got used to bringing everything with us so I don't think it's a big deal. I think I got a bit lazy when the ocean was right there and end up going back and forth 100 times haha but that's really a waste of time .

My fiance wasn't going to have any groomsmen, but these two guys really wanted to be part of the bridal party so he caved in. That's also another reason why it makes me even angrier. I'm kind of over it today, I just hope that at least they show up to the wedding and that they don't convince anyone else to do the same as them. 

 

[nadiakat17]

ugh, i feel like I am in the same boat as so many. I get so frustrated when people say they arent coming due to finances when they have more money then some of the rest of my friends and spend it on stupid stuff. I wish people could get it toegether and come!

[Lia33]

That's definitely frustrating when people say they won't be able to come due to finances! My own mother tried that on me but stopped when she realized that wasn't going to fly with me - my own mother! Luckily I think paying little by little through a TA will help and I offered to assist also (if she lets me). 

 

My biggest frustration right now is that my only grandmother will most likely not go. She says she doesn't have the energy to travel to Mexico (I don't think she's ever left the country). For her age she is in pretty good shape, always out and about, walks everywhere, and lives alone. She just does NOT like traveling. I'm feeling really guilty about it but at the same time, if I wasn't doing a DW, it would just be city hall (way too expensive to throw a traditional wedding in NY!). She will be present for our legal ceremony but I know she's still disappointed about missing the more elaborate wedding festivities. Looking into possible accommodations that may convince her to come. Will Mexico in July be too hot for her? 

 

Anyone ever deal with this with an elderly relative? Do they ever actually go to destination weddings?

Edited August 16, 2014 by Lia33

[kmk2016]

My grandma will be 87 for our wedding and booked last week. She was worried at first but got health insurance in case and we needed to promise we wouldn't desert her in the airport to fend for herself (hahah- as if that would EVER HAPPEN) I think she was just worried no one would want to hang out with the "old lady" but she is a blast and we are thrilled she is coming.

[Lia33]

@@kmk2016 - Thank you for saying that. I think the reality is my family does not like inconvenience. From the moment that she found out it would be in Mexico she was against attending. I know of another destination wedding where the bride's wheelchair bound grandmother attended. Even my aunt/godmother will most likely not attend (who is perfectly healthy). At least there will still be a city hall legal part that I'm having her attend - and this I rearranged for her benefit. We wanted to quietly get legally married before Mexico but decided to do it after Mexico (and where another white dress) for my grandmother's benefit although she still isn't really pleased. Guess I should really just stop trying to please everyone!