Biggest Destination Wedding Stress factor - what's yours?

[Afaybik]

I would have to answer as "mother of the bride".  The biggest stress factor is my daughter second-guessing every decision that she makes and then waiting until the last minute to do everything.  Wedding is less than two weeks away and she still has soooo much to do!

[Jamaica2012]

I agree, the guest situation has been a stressor but I keep reminding myself that it can't be personal! I have had a hard time with my guests telling me one thing before I officially decided on having a DW and then changing their mind once I decided. 

 

For example my sister who I am pretty close with (especially her children) told me initially that she totally wanted me to have a DW so that her and her family would have a reason for an "awesome vacation"  Well she later told me that bringing children to Jamaica would not be a vacation for her and her husband!  At the time this was very upsetting to me because I am very close to those kids and wanted them all there! If she would have told me they may not be able to come....I may have not gone with a DW??

 

Anyways, I have gotten over that problem. If she wants them there, they will be there.  If they don't end up being there, I will survive and the wedding will still be beautiful even if I don't have a super cute ring barrer or flower girl....:-(  I now understand that having 3 children under the age of 8 would be a lot of work and $$$$.

 

 

 

 

[ScorpioBride]

I completely agree too, for me the biggest stressor has been guest concerns. There are many who say they are coming but with just over 60 days to go they have not even thought of booking, even when I sent them airplane seat sales and let them know that the resorts are filling up. For most people they haven't wanted to book the flights yet because "$500 on a return ticket seems like a lot of money to spend at once", but my point is that when the flights go up to $900 in a few weeks that is a LOT more money!!!! Why do people not get this? So yes, I am totally worried that people who said they were going to come will not come because they left planning too late and the prices go up for everything. How is that my problem? Gah! My meager guest count of 16 will probably drop down to 12 or less

 

Originally Posted by Jamaica2012 

I agree, the guest situation has been a stressor but I keep reminding myself that it can't be personal! I have had a hard time with my guests telling me one thing before I officially decided on having a DW and then changing their mind once I decided.

 

 

 

[BridetwoBe]

The uncertainty!

[elisamarie]

My biggest stress factor is that my parents haven't seen or spoken to each other since their divorce 14 years ago. It's going to be awkward and uncomfortable. I've lost a lot of sleep about it.

[stluciabound]

His family has been a nightmare. They have done nothing but guilt trip us for 9 months about our "selfish" decision to have a DW. So far they have refused to come,which has made it very difficult for my FI to get truly excited. I finally went over the other night to confront them about how they are treating him/me/us. I actually got an apology! Here is to hoping they come around and cut their crap... ugh, yes that part has been stressful!

[LaurieB]

OMG I literally read every post in this thread, I am sweating because my laptop is blowing hot air on me and I haven't moved for an hour and a half!!  I am a Destination Wedding specialist, TA, who only books group travel and destination weddings(35 weddings groups booked for 2011/2012 winter).   I thought I understood the stress of the guests booking, and from my perspective they definitely wait until the last week and a half of a booking period (I provide invites for my DW couples and on it I always put a Book By Deadline, not RSVP so people get the message!!!)   I am also planning my own destination wedding for NOV 2012 at melia las dunas, and while I've mentioned it to my family in passing, I have a feeling my parents are going to find issue's with it and try and control some things.   So I'll have to have a sit down with them and lay out some ground rules, explain our reasoning and let them know this is it!!

 

Booking so many weddings I deal with all sorts of different perspectives, many groups are on board and very excited, and some people feel obligated and forced into it, others are outright rude about the bride and groom's choices.  I feel like telling those ones to not go, but that's not really in my job description.   I just keep my mouth shut about the negative people but always pass on positive messages to my bride and groom's as well as updates every time someone books so they aren't left wondering.  I laughed out loud about the girl who said her FI banned her from talking to her TA because she got Twitchy with her...too funny, but it happens. 

 

Anyways, looking forward to my own wedding, I am still not 100% sure I'll do a DW, but our families are half in PEI and half in Alberta so I feel like having a wedding in one spot is like picking the side you love more..and I have a very hard time choosing!!  Plus it'll be just as expensive for the side that travels to come to the wedding as it would be to go to a resort and this way both of our families can meet!  They may never meet if we don't stay at an AI for a week together.  Thanks for providing me with a full night of entertainment!!  (and the sweats)

[lmadore]

MY biggest stress is trusting my that with over a year to go that my bridesmaids will not bow out for whatever reason,  just because things happen right?  I am thinking of just nixing the whole idea of bridesmaids and just having my MOH (my sister who I know will be there) and telling the two ppl (only one of them I think would really care) that just decided to make it simpler.  I dont know.  I like to make it as simple as possible.

[stluciabound]

Ok,I totally get your stress.We ran into this. We originally were trying to do the "big traditional" thing at home and decided later it was not an option and decided to go the DW route, which I am more and more convinced was the best decision, despite some really tough opposition from his family. He originally made his brother the best man and I made HIS sister my maid of honor. They were both thrilled, until we announced the change in venue. They are currently both boycotting. It is a crappy feeling, but here is the realization I have come to... I asked all of my wedding party when we were planning to have the wedding at home, since then plans have changed obviously. If they end up booking, then they will continue to be a part of the wedding party, and if they don't then I guess they won't. Oh well.  Who really cares? There is still plenty of moral support and help you will want/need along the way and if they are interested in being a part of that then great! But, if not, still, who cares?? As long as you and your FI are there then nothing else matters and everything else is just a bonus. Once you are comfortable with that, the rest is just detail. I struggled with this for a bit and now I just own it. I know that I won't really be able to finalize details until about 2 months out or so due to the nature of a DW so I am just trying to go with it and have ideas in my head for any size wedding party/guest list. That way when I do know for sure there are no disappointments, I will just know which idea I will go with. Keep your attitude and options open and it will all fall into place. Try not to stress and good luck!!!!
 

Originally Posted by lmadore 

MY biggest stress is trusting my that with over a year to go that my bridesmaids will not bow out for whatever reason,  just because things happen right?  I am thinking of just nixing the whole idea of bridesmaids and just having my MOH (my sister who I know will be there) and telling the two ppl (only one of them I think would really care) that just decided to make it simpler.  I dont know.  I like to make it as simple as possible.

 

[cbandemer]

MY BIGGEST STRESS FACTOR IS NOT HAVING COMPLETE CONTROL AND THE SLOW RESPONSES FROM THE WC.