Biggest Destination Wedding Stress factor - what's yours?

[NJBride2014]

The resort doesnt consider it part of my wedding group if they don't book with my contracted block. The guests booked on their own from a third party site so they are only considered guests of the hotel so any event they go to that I have planned is extra for them. That's the resorts policy. I'm hoping not too many more people book this way because it really starts adding up.

[candle23]

Who doesn't consider them in your group - the airline or the resort?  I assume the resort still would if they are staying there, but just not the airline.

I agree, send reminders.

But I read your post in another thread that some of the 54 have booked, just not with you? If yes, can't you just use that as an RSVP?  minus the menu they want, etc.  gives you a soft number.

The problem is that if they didn't book with my TA (which I am totally fine with!) then I am not really certain if they did book or not!! I just need their RSVP back and I will know for sure! Some people who I assumed would book haven't and those I thought wouldn't come have booked! Who knows?! I do have a soft number of who's coming....but the number is pretty vague, like we are somewhere between 60-85 people. It's a pretty big difference when I am trying to guess table decor and paying for dinners! Hopefully they start rolling in tomorow!!!

[calgarybride2015]

The problem is that if they didn't book with my TA (which I am totally fine with!) then I am not really certain if they did book or not!! I just need their RSVP back and I will know for sure! Some people who I assumed would book haven't and those I thought wouldn't come have booked! Who knows?! I do have a soft number of who's coming....but the number is pretty vague, like we are somewhere between 60-85 people. It's a pretty big difference when I am trying to guess table decor and paying for dinners! Hopefully they start rolling in tomorow!!!

I totally understand 100%.

Id send out the reminders. Some people thanked us as they had forgotten. Others just ignored them and we assume they aren't coming. My travel agent was SUPER busy the last day because of everyone waiting till the end. We ended up with 40 plus my family of 4. It was finally nice to have a better number. Your end is in site yay!

 

 

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[TinkerSofi]

Start sending out reminder texts or phone calls now. People will wait until the very last minute and it sucks. A quick reminder will give them the push to book. Thats what I had to do last month I had people booking up until the last day and even someone booked just last week on their own which is another story because now they aren't considered part of our wedding group and I have to pay extra for them. People forget deadlines so a quick reminder is good.

oh man that sucks . I've been pretty honest with guests when they ask whether I get any perks if they book with our group.  I told them we get some free people and that we can have things like cocktail hours, etc. People are always surprised that destination weddings still cost quite a bit of money. They think it's as simple as fly in, get married on the beach and chill for a week. Maybe that's why they take their sweet time to RSVP. It's so frustrating! 

The inability to talk to vendors in person to plan it out. I feel like I'm a slave to emails all the time.

it is hard to let go of the control and just kind of trust reviews and things you can find online on vendors. It's also very hard to tell people exactly what you want through e-mails. 

 

I'm actually pretty surprised that I'm not e-mailing my WC very often. It's been about a month since I sent her anything. I'm not sure if I should be freaking out that I'm underplanning or if I'm too laid back and I trust that everything will work out in the end. 

[kmk2016]

So an update from our planning.... I heard from my TA today and have an all new (unexpected) stressor! Haha- Our wedding date is not until February 2016, and our RSVP/booking deadline is September 21st of this year. We heard today that we have 50 people booked on packages and 8 more in land only bookings that have all paid. Our contract pricing was for 30 people, with an attrition that allowed for a total of 50 packages- so we have hit that number! There are still several people who are planning on booking and we have over a month left in the deadline we gave our guests! Now we are at the mercy of the tour operator to give us an equally good price for more seats/ but there are no guarantees.

(Expecting another 20-30 people based on who still needs to book and their recent indications that they were coming)

 

In addition we have 23 people booked and paid for first class/elite plus with our sunwing flight- and there are only 27 seats on the plane in this category. When you book with sunwing as a bride/groom you get upgraded to this level,

However we have used practically all of the seats and sunwing was shocked! They don't know what to do- since it's 1.5yrs away, and if they honor all of these bookings there will likely be nothing left for other brides on this flight (if there are any). I'm of the mindset that the early bird gets the worm- and we should get them all if we booked/paid for them... Since we shouldn't be punished just because we were organized!

 

I'm worried some of my guests may get bumped which wouldn't be fair... And that other guests who still book before our deadline, will pay more than I had hoped! (We are already at $2000/pp for 7 nights all in with flights/transfers/tax.

 

Arggggg

Edited August 14, 2014 by kmk2016

[TinkerSofi]

I just got off the phone with my fiance and we're both so disappointed. His two really good friends just told him that they might go to a different hotel because the one we chose is too expensive and there's a 10 min walk from the hotel to the beach (within the same resort). These are guys who spend their money on the stupidest things ever and now they're saying that they can't pay that much. It makes me feel guilty that I chose that hotel and disappointed. They can spend $1000 on drinks for some bimbos on a weekend but they can't go to his friend's wedding for $1700. They said they would pay to get into the hotel for 2 or 3 days to hang out with us but I have a feeling they might back out altogether  . I just feel really bad for my fiance because a lot of his friends are backing out, or they just won't respond to his calls to check if they got the invitation. 

So an update from our planning.... I heard from my TA today and have an all new (unexpected) stressor! Haha- Our wedding date is not until February 2016, and our RSVP/booking deadline is September 21st of this year. We heard today that we have 50 people booked on packages and 8 more in land only bookings that have all paid. Our contract pricing was for 30 people, with an attrition that allowed for a total of 50 packages- so we have hit that number! There are still several people who are planning on booking and we have over a month left in the deadline we gave our guests! Now we are at the mercy of the tour operator to give us an equally good price for more seats/ but there are no guarantees.
(Expecting another 20-30 people based on who still needs to book and their recent indications that they were coming)

In addition we have 23 people booked and paid for first class/elite plus with our sunwing flight- and there are only 27 seats on the plane in this category. When you book with sunwing as a bride/groom you get upgraded to this level,
However we have used practically all of the seats and sunwing was shocked! They don't know what to do- since it's 1.5yrs away, and if they honor all of these bookings there will likely be nothing left for other brides on this flight (if there are any). I'm of the mindset that the early bird gets the worm- and we should get them all if we booked/paid for them... Since we shouldn't be punished just because we were organized!

I'm worried some of my guests may get bumped which wouldn't be fair... And that other guests who still book before our deadline, will pay more than I had hoped! (We are already at $2000/pp for 7 nights all in with flights/transfers/tax.

Arggggg

 that's awesome that you're getting so many people to go! I'm sure everything will sort itself out, although I hope it means that no one has to be downgraded. Your friends are so organized haha, unlike mine 

[kmk2016]

I just got off the phone with my fiance and we're both so disappointed. His two really good friends just told him that they might go to a different hotel because the one we chose is too expensive and there's a 10 min walk from the hotel to the beach (within the same resort). These are guys who spend their money on the stupidest things ever and now they're saying that they can't pay that much. It makes me feel guilty that I chose that hotel and disappointed. They can spend $1000 on drinks for some bimbos on a weekend but they can't go to his friend's wedding for $1700. They said they would pay to get into the hotel for 2 or 3 days to hang out with us but I have a feeling they might back out altogether . I just feel really bad for my fiance because a lot of his friends are backing out, or they just won't respond to his calls to check if they got the invitation.

Oh that is soooo sucky of them!!!!

 

Is there any chance you can reach out to them directly (not your FI) and explain to them how much it would mean for them to be there for your FI and that staying at the same resort is really really important? If they still push back, could they look at using vrbo to book a room at fives since there are condos on that property? It's not ideal... But would be a bit cheaper (maybe).

 

I'm thinking maybe if you go direct to them and just say hey- I need you to step up and do this... Maybe they will listen to you.

[TinkerSofi]

Oh that is soooo sucky of them!!!!

 

Is there any chance you can reach out to them directly (not your FI) and explain to them how much it would mean for them to be there for your FI and that staying at the same resort is really really important? If they still push back, could they look at using vrbo to book a room at fives since there are condos on that property? It's not ideal... But would be a bit cheaper (maybe).

 

I'm thinking maybe if you go direct to them and just say hey- I need you to step up and do this... Maybe they will listen to you.

Maybe that's a good idea. According to them they're living paycheque to paycheque and it's too expensive for them. Plus the fact that they don't want to have to walk to make it to the beach (since the beach at azul fives is not right on the hotel). I honestly thought they would be the first ones to book since they are in the best financial situation out of all of our friends, but I guess people surprise you sometimes. My fiance and I decided that we're going to try and not make a big deal out of it and as long as they're there the day of the wedding they can do whatever they want. It still leaves you with a bit of a bitter taste but oh well. 

[NJBride2014]

The same thing happened to my fiance. His best friend/groomsmen who he's known since he was 3 isn't staying at our resort either. He booked a much cheaper resort and will only be joining us for the wedding day which I feel kind of defeats the purpose of him even coming since we are having pre wedding events. He didn't even tell us he booked somewhere else until my TA informed us on our last day that he never booked. Our wedding is a month away and he still hasn't spoken to my fiance about not booking with our resort. Oh but he's going to the bachelor party this weekend and dropping $400 for Atlantic City. I don't get it he knew about the prices and deadline for 16 months and didnt have enough time to save. Its disappointing because my fiance drops everything to help him out when he needs it but when its my finances turn he ignores him.

 

The crappy part also is this friend/groomsmen actually convinced some other guests to cancel with my TA and book the resort he's staying at. So for all of these outside guests we now need to pay day passes for them to be at the wedding. My fiance says they will pay for their own passes since it was thier choice to stay at another resort but we'll see if that actually happens. I have a feeling we'll end up paying for it. Its funny because the friends that were the first to book are guys my fiance has only known for a couple of years. They are so excited about coming and couldnt wait to book their trip. Other people who you would think would be there no matter what are actually the disappointing ones.

Edited August 14, 2014 by NJBride2014

[calgarybride2015]

The same thing happened to my fiance. His best friend/groomsmen who he's known since he was 3 isn't staying at our resort either. He booked a much cheaper resort and will only be joining us for the wedding day which I feel kind of defeats the purpose of him even coming since we are having pre wedding events. He didn't even tell us he booked somewhere else until my TA informed us on our last day that he never booked. Our wedding is a month away and he still hasn't spoken to my fiance about not booking with our resort. Oh but he's going to the bachelor party this weekend and dropping $400 for Atlantic City. I don't get it he knew about the prices and deadline for 16 months and didnt have enough time to save. Its disappointing because my fiance drops everything to help him out when he needs it but when its my finances turn he ignores him.

 

The crappy part also is this friend/groomsmen actually convinced some other guests to cancel with my TA and book the resort he's staying at. So for all of these outside guests we now need to pay day passes for them to be at the wedding. My fiance says they will pay for their own passes since it was thier choice to stay at another resort but we'll see if that actually happens. I have a feeling we'll end up paying for it. Its funny because the friends that were the first to book are guys my fiance has only known for a couple of years. They are so excited about coming and couldnt wait to book their trip. Other people who you would think would be there no matter what are actually the disappointing ones.

It's so so true. Directed at you and @@TinkerSofi

I have friends who can clearly afford it based on the things they do (drinking gambling traveling big huge shopping addictions) and they are the first to say they can't afford it. Like others have said - if they want to be there they will. I have friends a lot less close to me that jumped at the chance.

It's a shame about him talking others into staying at another resort - that actually would bug me more than him staying there. It's your freaking wedding, not his!!! And heck no I wouldn't be paying their resort daily pass either. We hadn't even considered doing so when we talked about people staying elsewhere.

 

 

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So an update from our planning.... I heard from my TA today and have an all new (unexpected) stressor! Haha- Our wedding date is not until February 2016, and our RSVP/booking deadline is September 21st of this year. We heard today that we have 50 people booked on packages and 8 more in land only bookings that have all paid. Our contract pricing was for 30 people, with an attrition that allowed for a total of 50 packages- so we have hit that number! There are still several people who are planning on booking and we have over a month left in the deadline we gave our guests! Now we are at the mercy of the tour operator to give us an equally good price for more seats/ but there are no guarantees.

(Expecting another 20-30 people based on who still needs to book and their recent indications that they were coming)

 

In addition we have 23 people booked and paid for first class/elite plus with our sunwing flight- and there are only 27 seats on the plane in this category. When you book with sunwing as a bride/groom you get upgraded to this level,

However we have used practically all of the seats and sunwing was shocked! They don't know what to do- since it's 1.5yrs away, and if they honor all of these bookings there will likely be nothing left for other brides on this flight (if there are any). I'm of the mindset that the early bird gets the worm- and we should get them all if we booked/paid for them... Since we shouldn't be punished just because we were organized!

 

I'm worried some of my guests may get bumped which wouldn't be fair... And that other guests who still book before our deadline, will pay more than I had hoped! (We are already at $2000/pp for 7 nights all in with flights/transfers/tax.

 

Arggggg

I went over my numbers too but Air Canada went with it and everyone got the same price. We reserved 30 and took close to 40. Hopefully you find the same from Sunwing.

 

I also agree with the early bird gets the worm. I honestly can't understand how they can pay for elite but get downgraded. If elite is sold out, elite is sold out. No??

 

Hope it all sorts itself out.

 

 

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I just got off the phone with my fiance and we're both so disappointed. His two really good friends just told him that they might go to a different hotel because the one we chose is too expensive and there's a 10 min walk from the hotel to the beach (within the same resort). These are guys who spend their money on the stupidest things ever and now they're saying that they can't pay that much. It makes me feel guilty that I chose that hotel and disappointed. They can spend $1000 on drinks for some bimbos on a weekend but they can't go to his friend's wedding for $1700. They said they would pay to get into the hotel for 2 or 3 days to hang out with us but I have a feeling they might back out altogether . I just feel really bad for my fiance because a lot of his friends are backing out, or they just won't respond to his calls to check if they got the invitation.

 

that's awesome that you're getting so many people to go! I'm sure everything will sort itself out, although I hope it means that no one has to be downgraded. Your friends are so organized haha, unlike mine

Trying to picture your resort. Is the beach technically at a sister resort (like the Bahia principe group?). Cause I've been on resorts were my room to the beach was easily 5-10 min walk!!! And that was one resort not multiple.

 

I was telling my fiancé tonight that close to everyone on this board has a frustrating story to tell. Hugs to us all.

 

Ps - $1700 at this point is a good price. We were hard pressed to find our $1565 so jumped on it - now it's close to $1900. If they are paying a lot less where it's justified to stay there (ie not a couple hundred dollars) they may be disappointed at the quality.

 

 

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Edited August 14, 2014 by calgarybride2015