Biggest Destination Wedding Stress factor - what's yours?

[jandl2013]

Most definitely...I think it's a great way to capture the bridal shower, part of the wedding reception, by dad and MIL 60th bday/thank you dinner, and excursions.  This is awesome so i'm going to put my deposit down and put the app on my wedding site.  Yaye!

[jandl2013]

So I guess i'll mention my biggest stress factors now.  Where do I even begin...I've had so many prior to now.

 

1) Planning a wedding someplace (St. Lucia) where our family and some friends seemed in complete opposition to going.  Eventually, even though he said he was good with our plans, I realized my fiancé was opposed to which lead to major frustration.  Due to us changing our date after my out of control house renovation, the flights and plans etc just didn't seem feasible so I changed everything to Punta Cana which I feel was more economical and also easier to get to since we have family coming from NY, MD, FL, NJ, England, Canada, and Jamaica.  The flights to St. Lucia were not only expensive, but LONG meaning long lay overs and many connections and I couldn't do this to my older guests so that was that.  People seem a lot more on board now that we have chosen a location that's a bit more affordable and easier to get to

 

2) Dealing with some his family that tried to get us to get married in NY even though a) we don't live there and my family is 20x larger than my fiancé's family so it would have been a madhouse!  My family will travel, but to avoid all my family trying to come, places like MD, NY and Jamaica are off limits.  I'm not trying to have a family reunion; it's our wedding so I had to eliminate the stress that my family would cause.  He finally understood when he went to one of my family functions that only included some people in the US...he was SHOCKED.  Suffice to say, he shut up and was on my side after that. Their opinions no longer matter to us because we are already being somewhat accommodating.

 

3) In my fiancé's excitement, he chose grooms and I was really not trying to pick anyone to be bridesmaids to avoid drama and cause anyone unnecessary financial stress.  I chose BM's, but i'm realizing that when you have a group of good friends who have never been married and really haven't been bridesmaids, they may be disappointing in their enthusiasm and/or assistance. I understand that people have work, and school but I don't get it if you show virtually little interest.  I decided after months of wedding planning stress, I decided to get a better attitude about it.  I will revisit the Bridesmaid thing once everyone has actually booked their trip.  No point in getting upset when no one has booked yet.  That will save me time and energy and possibly friendships.

 

4)I just sent out my save the dates a week ago, so a majority of my guests have not booked yet, but I refuse to stress because I have learned from this site and what I've seen that people will drive you crazy if you let them.  I have made it clear that i'm sending the invites and whoever comes will be there and whoever won't be there won't.  That goes for all the family and all the friends.

 

5) My future sister-in-law has been a pain in our !ss so much so that my fiancé almost cursed her out and I had to stop him from going to her house to do so...she actually did deserve it because if my siblings did some of what she has been doing for months, it would be a really big problem and i'm the oldest so i'm not dealing with the craziness.  She treats my fiancé like he is her spouse/banker/child all at the same time so he is beyond frustrated so i'm going to stay as far away as possible.  I'm hoping she stays home if she can't get her act together because there is no need for unnecessary drama.

 

6) Finding time, patience, and creativity for DIY projects.  I'm not very creative and until August when I got laid off job, I did not have a lot of time or patience to deal with this so I ended up paying for save the dates and invitations.  There was just too much information and I lacked half the tools for some of the projects.  Timing, but hey it's done at least!

 

7) Getting laid off initially stressed me out but luckily my fiancé and I had already started our budget AND he moved into my house literally a week before I got laid off so the timing worked out.  We already had paid for our site visit, so we were able to determine that we could still have the wedding and stay on budget so that was the blessing in all of this.

 

I initially didn't like the wedding planning because trying to gather all the information for the resorts, making deposits, and just combing through piles and piles of information while dealing with outside stress factors like our families and friends.  Now that we have the room blocks, the wedding/reception site, menu, plans, videographer (still working on a photographer), sent out the save the date and our wedding website, I finally feel like I have time to enjoy the wedding plans.  My fiancé is way more supportive and active especially after we went on our site visit last month.  And i'm doing thing all while in classes for the semester until I find another job.  I had to cut a few things, but luckily not too much.  We just need to stay on budget and not get out of control.  Now I just need to go try on some dresses!!

 

My current mantra: relax, breathe, and everything will work itself out if you have a plan!  The point of this wedding was to have a lovely wedding that we would be able to remember forever.  The day is about US, and though we do want our guests happy, our happiness is important!  Good luck fellow brides, and may your wedding be all you dream and more!

[Sehausle]

Need advice about my biggest pet peeve:

 

Two weeks before my big day one of my guests made a comment insinuating there was a possibility of her getting engaged during her stay at our destination wedding. While our wedding is not until Saturday, she is arriving Tuesday with her boyfriend, 2 days before most everyone else (including us) arrive. We have a small party of 21 including us and the majority know this guest so I know everyone would be at the very least congratulating her and what not. Am I a complete jerk that I don't want to share this trip with her? I am trying not to be bridezillaish but I was hurt when she threw how much she spent in my face and said that if she wanted to get engaged on her vacation that was up to her. Do you think I am in the wrong when I feel that this is just inappropriate?

[csho]

Need advice about my biggest pet peeve: Two weeks before my big day one of my guests made a comment insinuating there was a possibility of her getting engaged during her stay at our destination wedding. While our wedding is not until Saturday, she is arriving Tuesday with her boyfriend, 2 days before most everyone else (including us) arrive. We have a small party of 21 including us and the majority know this guest so I know everyone would be at the very least congratulating her and what not. Am I a complete jerk that I don't want to share this trip with her? I am trying not to be bridezillaish but I was hurt when she threw how much she spent in my face and said that if she wanted to get engaged on her vacation that was up to her. Do you think I am in the wrong when I feel that this is just inappropriate?

I can understand why you wouldn't want it to happen, but at the same time, it is their vacation as well and if they want to get engaged then that's their prerogative. If I were in your situation I would be a bit ticked off too, but at the same time I honestly think it won't really change your vacation or your wedding. Everyone is still there to celebrate your day with you and that's what they came for. So if they do get engaged people will congratulate them, but the wedding is still about you and they'll be more focused on you anyhow.

[jandl2013]

I agree Csho!

[flo628]

Budget, pleasing family and friends, and planning from afar are my biggest stressors!

[eberry]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sehausle 
 

Need advice about my biggest pet peeve:

 

Two weeks before my big day one of my guests made a comment insinuating there was a possibility of her getting engaged during her stay at our destination wedding. While our wedding is not until Saturday, she is arriving Tuesday with her boyfriend, 2 days before most everyone else (including us) arrive. We have a small party of 21 including us and the majority know this guest so I know everyone would be at the very least congratulating her and what not. Am I a complete jerk that I don't want to share this trip with her? I am trying not to be bridezillaish but I was hurt when she threw how much she spent in my face and said that if she wanted to get engaged on her vacation that was up to her. Do you think I am in the wrong when I feel that this is just inappropriate?

I agree that this week is your time and it's not appropriate for another couple to steal your spotlight.  Honestly, I'd be more than just a bit insulted if someone did that to us.  My fiance already warned his unmarried family and friends that they are not allowed to get engaged at our wedding. You're not at all being bridezillaish.

[g9genine]

Planing on a wedding for a year + , trying to settle on a location that will do a Sunday legal wedding, then finding out a friend u know who got engaged a year later has decided w/in a month of being engaged they are planning a destination wedding a week before the date you have chosen. Oh and my groom is supposed to be the best man ? Just saddens me that we possibly may not make it to each others wedding.... But life must go on, I suppose . Stressors big and small will be there, remember to stay grounded, focus on hapiness and to a wonderful future! Here here!

[sharmer]

trying not to jump the gun on everything! haha I'm so excited and anxious and love this sort of planning/craftiness that I want to do it all now even though it's 7+ months away!! HURRY UP JUNE!!

[csho]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharmer 
 

trying not to jump the gun on everything! haha I'm so excited and anxious and love this sort of planning/craftiness that I want to do it all now even though it's 7+ months away!! HURRY UP JUNE!!

haha I was engaged 13 months prior to our wedding date... and our wedding is still 6 months away and I have most stuff done and all my crafts and ideas worked out! Its soo much better to have the time, especially if you want to diy because that way you can think of ideas and wait for sales etc to save money!