I really need to vent...Long

Preciousmi811 · November 11, 2009

Total Big Baby! I think you need to give in for a little while and reassure him everything will stay the same and once he calms down like in a week, then you can tell him what a jack ass he's being. My FI is famous for saying really crappy and mean things that he doesn't mean. When me and FI are fighting like you guys are I always give in and baby him and then we end up having a great weekend. After he calms down then I am able to talk with him and have him actually listen. Men are such babies, you guys seem totally in love and just hit a rough patch, I mean what couple not in love take showers together all the time?

jk1101 · November 11, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by FutureMrsLewis

Sometimes fi gets like this when something is bothering him and he doesn't want to bore me with the details. So instead he bottles it up forever and then explodes at me (when I had absolutely nothing to do with it). Maybe there's something else bothering him? Maybe when he seems relatively calm, just say "Hey, are you alright? Is something wrong?" and have a chat about it. It sounds like you two really love eachother, and you can't throw that away over a little argument

Yes he doesn't know how to tell me things - act first, talk later

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scubadiva

I have been there also. It sucks that you feel you have to be cautious around your fiance. It took me a bit to find out what was bothering my FI and once that was figured out it has been better. We have our days and if we didnt fight I dont think it would be "healthy". Not every thing is so easy realationships take work. Just hang in there and I would think he would come around. Just keep doing your thing.

fighting is healthy but I HATE IT!!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChristinaP

I hope you are feeling better. Just know that you are NOT alone... I doubt there is not one couple I know that don't experience "communication issues" at some points. Not knowing you are your situation well, it sounds like like your FI is/was having a hard time with change and some people just don't adjust well. Here you are back to working hard at something you are enjoying and he was used to having you home all the time instead and needing him to support you as you went through a bad time. Maybe he doesn't feel as needed in your life now that you have some of your indepenance back?

yes and Damaris said it too - he was totally used to having me home - he only works part time hours so he has a lot of free time so he loved having me home when he came home. Now I'm gone 12+ hours a day. It's culture shock!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abbie

michele, that just stinks

how are things now that the weekend has passed and you are back at work again?

hang in there, i agree its DEF stress of wedding planning and all. the dude probably is feeling overwhelmed. listen to his mama, you are right she knows him best! just keep walkin on eggshells until you know he is feeling more secure about your new job and maybe have a convo about it all. but plan out what you will say ahead of time so it isnt putting him in a corner about anything so you can have a good discussion and not another fight.

HUGS and good luck!

Thank you guys so much for the support!

Ok, so the weekend ended up well - I went with FI and his friend to a benefit on Sunday - it was a live music thing, which we both love and exactly what we needed - we were dancing and happy and had a great time.

Last night when I came home we had a long talk about him missing me when he comes home early and not being good at TALKING about it and how we need to just spend time together really bonding ever night now so really just making a conscious effort to just be, if that makes sense. And we'll take it one day at a time.

shortnsweet7675 · November 11, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by jerseykitten

Thank you guys so much for the support!

Ok, so the weekend ended up well - I went with FI and his friend to a benefit on Sunday - it was a live music thing, which we both love and exactly what we needed - we were dancing and happy and had a great time.

Last night when I came home we had a long talk about him missing me when he comes home early and not being good at TALKING about it and how we need to just spend time together really bonding ever night now so really just making a conscious effort to just be, if that makes sense. And we'll take it one day at a time.

I'm so glad to hear things are going better for you two.