Sent a STD, to send a formal invite or not?

KJT1985 · November 3, 2009

We're getting married in February and sent out STDs back in June-ish. Since then, there's been some drama with my "friend" who I initially asked to be my MOH. I'm pretty bitter about our relationship since she doesn't even seem to care that she won't be at our wedding. I, personally, don't even feel like she made ANY effort at all and it really hurts me. Even if she wouldn't have made it in the end, I would have appreciated some sort of attempt. We were college friends and I spent some time with her family too (spring breaks and such) and sent them a STD because I didn't feel right ignoring them when I THOUGHT she'd be such a big part of the wedding (though, not expecting them to come)

Now that all this has happened (and her parents didn't even acknowledge the STD), I'm wondering if I have to send them a formal invite. They are really the only ones i'm considering not sending one to. But if I don't send them a formal invite (mostly for rsvp purposes and knowing full well they aren't going) should I not send her one as well? My fiance doesn't even think we need a formal invite since we sent out STD and people should have booked by now if they want to go (3.5 months away now).

I guess maybe part of the reason I don't want to send it is because it doesn't hurt as much to ignore the situation and to pretend like I have some control over it. If it matters, they don't have contact with anybody else invited to the wedding. My friend does talk to my mom and brother sometimes though...Is it wrong of me to not send an invite now? Would they even know if they didn't get one?

super19 · November 3, 2009

I would still send the family a formal invite. The drama that happened was between you and your friend, not her family. I wouldn't feel right about excluding them now.

It's totally up to you and I know these things are really difficult to deal with.

Good luck and keep us posted on what you decide.

KJT1985 · November 4, 2009

Thanks. It just feels sorta wrong not to send them one now. I guess I'm kinda sorry that I even sent them a STD in the first place...since I thought I was doing it for her, not for me.