downsizing

rdhbride · October 28, 2009

ok ladies, this question is for a friend. and i didn't have the answer for her but i'm sure some of you can help. so her daughter is getting married in july and sent out the save the dates to 250 people . now after really breaking all her finances down she can only really afford like 150. how do you properly downsize without hurting people's feelings? and also doing it tactfully. i did some research but really didn't find any info for this , so any help is greatly appreciated:)

SSNM · October 28, 2009

lol...there was recently a lively discussion on a very similar problem here:

http://bestdestinationwedding.com/fo...r-guest-51072/

To sum it up, there is no 'nice' way to do it. If you do, people will feel hurt. Although I COMPLETELY understand the situation, ettiquette says that once you send the STD/invite, you can't really un-do it. Her first course of action should be to downscale the wedding. If she can't downscale it enough, she could cancel it, elope, and then do a less formal (read 'cheaper') celebration afterwards or even as a 1st year anniversary celebration by which time she may have more funds available. She could also try to pool in more funds via either a stag and doe or via parents (or the bank). If none of the above are acceptable options...well, like I said, there is no nice way to 'uninvite' people. I really hope she can work it out.

estella1007 · October 28, 2009

My friend just had the same problem with her wedding last month. A lot of people who got save the dates never got invites, and some people questioned why, but for the most part they understood. With the economy the way it is, people understand. What she did was have primary, secondary, etc lists. As she got rsvp's back that weren't coming she would send out another round of invites. She also made sure not to invite any children unless they were in the bridal party. She also invited singles without a guest if they weren't in a serious relationship or dating someone. Cutting out children (even the teenage and young adults) and keeping it to only the adults saved her a ton of money too.

lrdavis23 · October 28, 2009

Well I'm all too familiar with this situation as SSNM knows, I posted the question she attached above. I was and still am faced with this situation however I have decided on a couple of ways to handle the situation and what I did like SSNM said was to adjust some of things that weren't necessary for the wedding to make room in the buget to accomadate our guest.