Mom gave me an ultimatum to come to MY wedding!?!

[egsarah]

SO yet another update.

 

My mother emailed me today...after how many weeks? Basically... she told me that I was a horrible self centered child (for not agreeing to her ultimatums)...so I'm pretty over ANY guilt that I felt. We leave for the wedding in less than 8 days so I'll let you all know how it turns out. I have NO qualms over asking her to leave or having my wedding coordiator ask her to leave after all of this. Plus about 90% of our guests know whats been going on and think that she's ridiculous...so at a minimum I don't have to be embaressed by her behavior.

 

Its just a shame that shes acting this way....

[creoletexan]

Hi egsarah,

 

I just wanted to say that I will probably have to have the same talk with my mom, but she still has 7 months to get it together. Right now, she is only at the stage where she is trying to convince me to have my wedding in Baton Rouge, LA and saying nobody on her side of the family will come anyways and that my bridal party will drop out, just out of spite. I might have to follow your approach and just be up front with her. I'm glad you are taking it wonderfully!

[echo2_62]

egsarah - while it sucks that you've had to deal with your mom like this, I almost think its a good thing that she's kept her behaviour consistent simply for the reason that it lets you be resolved about where you stand with her and realize that you have not been unreasonable with your requests to her AT ALL!

 

While it's horrible to think you'd have to have your mom escorted from your wedding (ceremony, reception or whatever!), I think it's something that will be good to follow through on because she needs to realize that her actions and words have consequences too - something I'm sure every mother tries to teach their children!! She is the one who is being self-centered here, and not allowing her daughter (you) to make her own choices regardless of whether she believes it to be a mistake or not.

 

I wish you all the luck when you leave for your wedding in a week and sincerely hope that your mom puts a zip on her lips!!! Remember that this is YOUR day and remember that it will be AMAZING!!!

[FutureMsMoulton]

Wow-- I am so sorry that you are going through this. My family and I are kind of in the same boat. We HATE the guy my sister is dating and don't want to see them engaged or married. The difference is we tolerate him-- I refuse to talk to him or acknowledge him at this time. If they get married I won't be in her wedding, but I will attend and keep all nasty comments to myself. As a family member you may not agree with someones choices but you should accept them and respectfully keep the negative comments to yourself. I am sorry to hear that you mom hasn't realized that she needs to shut up and let you lead your life now. I hope things work out for you.

[mrscheeze]

im sorry you are going through this but im sure your wedding day will still be the best day of your life! good luck

[egsarah]

Well girls...GOOD NEWS! She didn't speak to me much but was completely civil to everyone else. She seemed to get along with my husbands (gosh thats weird to say!) parents and family which was particularly good seeing as it was the first time they all met. There were a few zingers in there that Joe and I were the only ones that caught but we didn't let it bother us. It was nice for her to be able to see how happy we are together (since she really didn't believe it) and how happy everyone else was for us too. Hopefully in a few years she'll calm down and see that her little girl is all grown up.

[boscobel]

That's great news! I'm glad she was able to get it together and act like a grown-up, if not the mother-of-the-bride. Congrats!!

[DanielleNDerek]

thats great. i'm so happy she didnt take away from your trip and she acted somewhat adult. hopefully she'll make a full turn around and show you guys some love.

[echo2_62]

That's such good news to hear! I'm glad that you were able to celebrate your day without incident and everyone enjoyed themselves. Congrats to you and your new hubby!

[~Nicole~]

I'm so glad it worked out! And congrats on your wedding!!