Is it wrong to cut off booking at a certain number of guest ???

[classadiva]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SSNM I agree there are definately some options to do this in an 'ettiquette friendly' way, to use my previous term, to control the budget while accomodating all of the guests. I still don't think someone should be offended or hurt by someone else's limited funds. To address Classdiva's previous argument, while it may be possible to pull the 'RSVP' card, it may not help given that the OP is trying to cut it off at a certain NUMBER of people, not by a certain date. Also, if the wedding date and the 'RSVP by date' are very far apart, it may still look bad, i.e. why does a guest have to make such an big financial/time commitment so far in advance or risk being cut off? I know I probably would not be sure if I could make such a commitment until 1-2 months before as my money and time constraints can vary quite a bit in a year. If I was told I needed to let them know 8 - 10 months before I would just decline the invite.

You make some very good points. The guests were required to RSVP one month after getting the details for an event that is 8 months out. I probably would not assume that my "true" cut off date was October 15th!!!

Okay...so much for playing devil's advocate!!! LOL

[SSNM]

Quote:

Originally Posted by classadiva You make some very good points. The guests were required to RSVP one month after getting the details for an event that is 8 months out. I probably would not assume that my "true" cut off date was October 15th!!! Okay...so much for playing devil's advocate!!! LOL

I love devil's advocate! It's great to make sure that all bases are covered even when we think we have the answer! You never know when something comes up.

[**~Linda~**]

Just had this happen to me as well. We invited 100 guests thinking a proportional amount would come. To our shock we expected only 50 or so people to show up and so far our RSVP's are 50! and we still have people calling ....

We also thought about the whole budget thing but honestly i think its just a blessing and i dont think cutting off the booking is a good idea. It just to me as a guest would seem rude.

[*Meagan*]

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Originally Posted by lrdavis23 For me I had planned the budget, reception location, decor, gifts, excursions for our guest, a welcome dinner etc.... so the reason it affects the budget is not just the reception food, because when you add more guest it affects the cost of everything such as OOT bags, favors, reception cost, ceremony and reception decor, entertainment, excursions, the welcome dinner, etc... we had planned on making this a fun filled event for our guest by doing alot of extra little things for 50-60 people so we have to definitely adjust. I will be rearranging some things lol..... I have already started looking at ways to do things differently and how we can cut cost in other areas. I have discussed this with my family and they are willing to help with anything necessary to make this work. I do think it will be super fun with alot of people and we will have the time of our lives. I don't want anyone to think I am not happy or grateful for all the love that are family and friends have for me and FI... and it truly is a blessing. It is just very stressful sometimes when plans change, whether its money, location or details, etc.... I love this forum because it allows us to encourage each other and helps us get through the stressful times. thank you all for the advice it really has help me. I feel confident that things will work out and I will not be cutting booking off.

Is this an AI resort?

Personally I do not think you need a welcome dinner. I mean if you need to cut costs. Start with the welcome dinner and follow by excursions. I think it is great idea to a do a excursion all together but people also dont want you planning their vacation for them and it is a great way to cut costs. Instead do a volleyball tournament or something fun that involves everyone and not a lot of money aka budget breaker. I would also do one or other a sfor favors or OOT bags. They dont need both really. JMO! good luck

[*kellis*]

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Originally Posted by future_mrs2010 Is this an AI resort? Personally I do not think you need a welcome dinner. I mean if you need to cut costs. Start with the welcome dinner and follow by excursions. I think it is great idea to a do a excursion all together but people also dont want you planning their vacation for them and it is a great way to cut costs. Instead do a volleyball tournament or something fun that involves everyone and not a lot of money aka budget breaker. I would also do one or other a sfor favors or OOT bags. They dont need both really. JMO! good luck

I agree, if you are worried about breaking the budget, cut out the extras that don't involve the actual wedding FIRST then if you need to, you can start making changes to the wedding. While it would be great to have an excursion and all that, if I was going to a DW, I would in no way expect the couple to pay for me to go on the excursion. So that's an easy way to save money there. Doesn't mean to not go, but just paying for your and FI's ticket for that is gonna be a heck of alot cheaper then paying for everyone.

Also, a favor AND OOT bag is overkill if you are trying to keep costs down. No one will even notice if you only do one or the other. And while I love the idea of OOT bags, doing them for 150 people is not only costly, I can't imagine how much time will have to be spent on assemblying them and how much you'll have to pay to bring all that stuff down there for you. Even 50 is alot to me.

[Tam]

Hey, just a thought, but can you barter with the hotel at all if you have high numbers?

Like maybe get more of a discount per dinner or something??

[SSNM]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tam Hey, just a thought, but can you barter with the hotel at all if you have high numbers? Like maybe get more of a discount per dinner or something??

That is a really good idea, Tam! See if they can give you your room for free or throw in some of the add-ons you were going to pay for anyway. I mean, that is big business you are potentially bringing them and it wouldn't be hard to put in a contract that if you had 'X' amount of guests staying at the resort, then they will give you 'A', 'B', and 'C'.

[Tam]

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Originally Posted by lrdavis23 I agree Sheree10, it is alot to think about and I am going to take your approach and make a list of must haves, and optional things pending number of guest. I think the first thing I would cut would be the private welcome dinner like you said and just have an informal gathering at the bar/lounge. I may also have to cut paying for an excursion for all our guest wheewww I don't event want to think about how much that would cost to pay for 80-100 guest to go on an excursion lol.... but I think by teh end of December I will have a better idea of how many people will really be there, give or take a couple guest may book at the last minute but most people need more time to make payments. Has anyone had guest book a month or 2 before the trip ?

I may be having people book just before we leave.. not sure yet, but that's their answer right now... we'll see.

What if you did a cocktail cruise excursion ?? that's what we're going to do and there's different packages available. you can go all out or (what we're probably going to do... get a basic package).. even then it is still going to cost around $1200.. still a lot especially when we won't even have half the number of people you will.
I agree with cutting out a lot of the extras at least until you have firm #s and then try to barter a bit if you want to ??
Try to remember what will matter after it's all over.. will anyone think about how you guys didn't pay for a day trip? No, probably not.. but they will remember having an awesome time being with friends.
I have been stressing about centrepieces and then had that thought.. in the end, will it really matter?
HOpe this helps.. and remember people will realize how expensive things can get the larger the number of guests..
and don't worry, no one thinks you are being ungrateful with the #s..

[big3n09]

Everyone has given some good advice and suggestions to help answer your posted question. I actually sent our website to about 125 people to put the information out there. I was very detailed that our actual resort only has a certain number of rooms as well as if they didn't book by a certain date that the price would go up. I was only expecting 45-50 for our wedding but after sending out the website and before the price change I had 60 people booked. Since then 2 have canceled and 2 more have booked so it's hard to really estimate. IMO I do feel that you can have a cut off date but it should be a realistic one, not too far before the wedding, meaning between 30-60 days. I totally understand that if you sent them a STD it may be rude to cut them out but if you were having a local wedding and you had to give your head count by a certain date and they didn't RSVP, then what? That's what I mean by setting a more realistic cut off date because believe it or not some people may book a few weeks in advance. I have had 2 friends have destination weddings and they ran into the issue of having guest book weeks in advance and then they had to add them into their budget. I would try some of the suggestions that have been provided as far as adjusting your budget, I'm even going to myself. It is a blessing to have so many people want to come all the way to a DW but we still have to be real about what we can and can't handle. I'm shocked myself with our amount of people but I'm sure we'll figure it out and our DW will be all we hoped for. BTW my original plan for our STD's fell through so they are still sitting on my floor, hopefully they will get mailed next week. I'm only planning to send actual invites to those who have booked 8 weeks out, I don't see the point in sending one to those who aren't coming.

[lrdavis23]

Tam and SSNM, I have ask the TA if me and Mike can get our room for free since we have soo many quest that have booked, Im waiting to hear what she will say. I hope so because we now have 57 guest confirmed. I would hope the resort would do that being that we will have 30 + rooms booked with them under one event.