Have people questioned your reason for doing a DW?

NikkiT1021 · September 28, 2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by IrishgirlinNY

Everyone in my family and his has questioned why we are having it in Jamaica. "Why can't you have a wedding like your brother?" That is everybodys response. My brother and his wife had a huge wedding in our area. My sister in laws parents paid for the whole reception (200 people) and my parents paid for all the extras. We do not have that luxury and are paying for the whole thing ourselves and our main focus is to get a house. To spend a fortune on a wedding here in NYC would be crazy since we want a house within a year of the wedding. We are sticking by our guns. The close friends and family we want there, will be there. Most of his family isn't coming because of the location. It doesn't seem to bother my fiance. Just stick with the wedding that you and your hubby to be want and focus on that. All the other people that don't like the idea can always look at pictures!

I live in central NJ and totally feel your pain! If we wanted to do our wedding on the beach in NJ and then at a resteraunton the ocean, wewould be spending close to $75,000!!! Being that my FI and I are paying for this ourselves and own our hous, there is no possible way we can afford that! However, so many people cant grasp the concept of a DW. We have gotten so much negative feedback from people. I'm done with getting stressed over it. Whoever doesn't come will def be missing out

jasminsas · October 5, 2010

I feel everyone's pain. I've been engaged for 3 months and I feel like I've already gotten the whole run around from both families.

I'm an avid traveler, absolutely love seeing new places, discovering different cultures, and meeting new people. Since meeting me, my fiance has caught the travel bug. I've always said I was going to do a destination wedding and now that I've picked a place I think everyone is in shock...they probably assumed we were just talking and like most couples change our minds. (My sister wanted a cruise wedding she was talked out of it by her mother in law and my cousin wanted a Cancun wedding but eventually changed her mind.) At one point, my fiance's family told us they were worried about rabid monkeys and safety issues in Costa Rica (our first destination wedding location). And my sister has already told me she doesn't know if she can make it; she told me two weeks after my engagement. She said it's financial and she might get pregnant. She said that before we told her the prices and the fact that it's more than a year and a half away; I was really hurt. I understand life happens and I would love to have a niece or nephew but the way she did was kind of callous. Especially since I would have gone anywhere for her wedding no matter what; I just knew I couldn't miss it.

I'm still a little sad about my sister but overall we've gotten to the point where we forced ourselves to accept the fact we can't and won't have everyone we want there. I don't think we were ready to accept that when we first told everyone and we felt bad. So we have told everyone that they are welcomed to come and if they can't then we know they'll be there in spirit and they are invited to the ATR. As far as my sister, I'll probably make her an honorary bridesmaid.

MsClarke724 · October 6, 2010

I have also been dealing with this - I think I am clear now - we will see

delgadot · October 6, 2010

My future MIL has not had anything nice to say either the latest complaint is that her husband doesn't like to fly but yet they have traveled more then I have....

The thing is you cannot please everyone and when it comes to your wedding day it is YOUR day so its is whatever you and your FI choose. Yes having a destination wedding does cost people money but I feel like if its what you and your FI want then those people that truly love you and your fiancee will be there!

For me I have a huge Hispanic family and we have 2 small children so there is no way we could afford to have a wedding at home so a DW was the way to go for us. So not only are we going to save tons of money, we will have the best pictures, and we will get to have the people who we really want there sharing our special day!

That is what it is all about! So Happy Planning Everyone!

EricaMarie · October 14, 2010

I am having the same problem, however my twist is that I asked all of the immediate family meaning both our parents and their siblings if they would support us having a destination wedding. I really did not want to plan it if a lot of our close could not make it. Everyone was very supportive and thought it was a great idea! I was soo excitied to plan. Once I sent out an e-mail announcing we are definetely having a wedding in Mexico now we are getting all the I hope I can make it. Its going to be expensice I dont know if we will be able to afford. I would have possibly changed my mind since I did have a location picked at home for a wedding and have not paid anything yet for a wedding in Mexico, but I am not because this is what WE want.

All of my dads siblings live in Mexico so this will be the first event my dad will ever be able to invite them to since it is too hard and expensive for them to travel here. This is the only way that I am going to be able to have some of all of my family to come.

I never would have thought that people would change their attitudes so quickly on me like this. I feel bad because it is mostly my FI family. He comes from a very small family so having a few people not come is a large part of his family.

Monique · October 14, 2010

Me and FH initially decided to elope and we asked a friend a piece to come as a witness...but when word got out that we were getting married a lot of our other friends and some family said they wanted to be apart of our celebration. So I started to plan for a small intimate wedding with 15-20 of our closest family and friends. However I have received some questions (mainly from my grandmothers) about why I'm having a wedding so far away and that more of the family would be able to attend if I had it a home. However having a wedding at home would cost 3 times as much especially when you consider how big my side of the family is....You have to just come to a point where you know that nothing else really matters but your happiness!

Aumuller · October 14, 2010

You're right Monique, you just have to do whats right for you. I have learned especially with weddings no matter what you do you can't make everyone happy. Even if you had the traditional ceremony at home someone would have a problem with it.

Originally Posted by Monique

Me and FH initially decided to elope and we asked a friend a piece to come as a witness...but when word got out that we were getting married a lot of our other friends and some family said they wanted to be apart of our celebration. So I started to plan for a small intimate wedding with 15-20 of our closest family and friends. However I have received some questions (mainly from my grandmothers) about why I'm having a wedding so far away and that more of the family would be able to attend if I had it a home. However having a wedding at home would cost 3 times as much especially when you consider how big my side of the family is....You have to just come to a point where you know that nothing else really matters but your happiness!

EricaMarie · October 14, 2010

I think we just need to stick to the planning and just take the comments with a grain of salt. Like others said whoever comes comes. It will be a great time no matter what.

hamme · October 21, 2010

My bf and I want a DW...one day. We have both decided to pay for the 6 people we want to come. His immediate family and mine. We are aware that our families would be burdened by the wedding financially, so we took that stress out of the equation for them. I know that other people in my family will talk behind our backs (no matter what the subject). I am now preparing for that conversation in the future. I will extend the invitation to anyone who would like to come to the wedding, but if you can not come- you are an adult- you choose how to spend your money.

People are jealous for the most part. I will try keep my spirits up. No matter what- We want a week long celebration, not just one day.

Twinsrock · October 29, 2010

Yes! PPl think I am being selfish for wanting it where I want it and say that many cant come. SO wrong! luckily lots of ppl do get it...

But i found a website that had a lot of destination favors and somehow it helped =) I was getting really overwhlemed with everything and this took one stress away from me..

check it out! http://storkandveilfavorsandgifts.com/category_35/Destination-Weddings.htm