Future in law drama, blah!

[mrscheeze]

thats terrible, maybe they are still going through the shock of it but im sure they will come around and support you guys good luck!

[SusieQ]

I only read the first page here hun.... Yeah it does suck... Guess what it is their issues and not yours. If the Inlaws-outlaws choose to be stupid, you are going to have to let the be... You want to get married on a beautiful beach somewhere hot? Do it!! Like everyone is saying to you it will be their regrets not yours in the long run. Congrats and good luck

[Tifuhhknee]

I have had people still asking me "Why not in the states somewhere?" REALLY?! If we had it in the US, people would still have to travel, you don't get these amazing AI deals, and it's just not nearly as beautiful. I'm simply stuck with "Because that is not what we want" and most people stop there.

 

We have purposely talked about choosing a resort in front of his mother to see if she will react. A good friend of my family actually congratulated her on our engagement and wedding in the future and FI's mother straight up said "Thanks but we can't afford to go to the wedding." This friend asked us "isn't it a year and a half away?" My point exactly.

 

She still blows money on little things that make me feel like she is not gonig to attempt to try and make it. FI's godmother is still telling us not to worry about her. We honestly aren't... but my heart hurts for my FI because his immediate family is not supportive! He 12 & 15 year olds are gung ho about it and talk about it all the time, but realistically I don't know if they will pay for these kids to go. If we can afford to help those 2 make it at the time, sure, we will.

 

The "FU" brother that said we are going to hell came in for Thanksgiving. His GF has recently moved away from here also, so things are calm on that end. The brother was in town for 4-5 days and we only saw him for about 2 hours of it. He wasn't unpleasant but his GF was. She's too materialistic for me and I had no interest in what she was talking about. Everyone was telling my FI they couldn't believe he and his brother didn't speak while brother was away, blah blah. HELLO the phone works both ways! His brother did not call him either! But even when he lived here, they didn't call each other to just talk about what was going on in each other's lives or even talk about that face to face. Phone calls were more of hey what are you doing wanna go bowling? Etc. So there isn't really a change and he doesn't miss his brother for obvious reasons.

 

Overall, we are completely happy. I am so thankful that my family has been so supportive of him and myself. At Thanksgiving everyone was asking his brother how grad school was going and no one gave FI any acknowledgement of his graduation that is this weekend. He was hurt by that. On the other hand, all of my family asks him all the time. So at least he has us!! And his godparents and a handful of cousins are down with coming to Mexico. We will see how it plays out.

 

This got long! But that's all the update I have for now. Just wish we could decide on a resort already!! haha

[Tifuhhknee]

Just an update. FI's older brother came in town for Christmas holidays. They had this awkwardness between them and it was apparent. He kept texting FI saying "we really need to talk" and finally on his 4th day here they sat down with their dad as a mediator and talked. Brother said right off that he was sorry for what he said. That's all FI wanted (and I had told him his brother would NOT be invited unless he apologized, sounds bad, but it's how I felt).

 

Of course that couldn't be it. Brother says BUT he feels like FI is rushing into things (we planned a wedding on our EIGHT year anniversary... sure we are rushing.. haha), that he is making a mistake, that I pressured him into proposing (SO not true, I had no idea! never asked for a ring or anything), and that "people" say I run our relationship and his life and he has no say-so in what we do. He "knows how Tiffany is" (me) and he "knows" that I will only do what I want to do.

 

So wow. I am a control freak b*tch and FI is the biggest pushover ever? LOL FI was gracious though, he said it sounds like "people" are jealous because we have been together so long, like to do things together, and still have a good relationship. Also that his brother doesn't know us or hang out with us, so how would he know what we do and don't do. It's a mess, but at least Christmas wasn't as awkward as Thanksgiving since we had to be around FI's brother and his girlfriend. We are still pretty sure they will not be attending our wedding. IDK if his brother will make it to our AHR either because his school out of state will probably be in session. Who knows. IDC.

[marak]

OK. I've skimmed through the posts, but seems his family might be getting defensive b/c they cannot afford to make the trip (or can't fathom to save that amt of money for one event). Ummmm, I'm not good at PC...is his fam PWT?? Now don't get me wrong, dirt floors are low maintenance, PBR sculptures are art and couches on the porch do make for comfy conversation spots, but..one has to wonder here..going to hell for what? Mexico is one of the most Christian countries in the world, if that's the concern? Just sayin'. Hang in there. My heart goes out to your guy, cause his spot is not an easy one.

 

Sounds like you might be from two very different worlds, (if FBIL is saying you rushed into things after 8 years & you're going to hell). Give your guy some support and be patient with his family. Your fiance seems like a peacekeeper and that may be one of the things you love about him. Pick your battles wisely and concede when necessary for his peace of mind. It's your wedding, but what is a wedding w/o the people that mean the most to both of you? Whether they are right or wrong, they are important, and that means, unfortunately...to both of you.

 

I like this gremlin...he has a helmet. Wear yours, and foshizzle.

[Tifuhhknee]

Up until getting engaged, his family seemed to be very similar to mine. His parents are still married, my parents are still married. None of us are rich when it comes to money out the wahzoo, but by no means is either family struggling. Both his parents work, both of my parents work. Maybe it's that they have 5 kids and I am only one of 3. I really have no idea. His mom comes from a big family (one of eight) and my dad comes from a huge family (one of thirteen). I think the main thing is that his mother thinks this will cost her about 2 times what it actually would (even though we told her otherwise). Everything is up in the air for now with them.

 

The worst part of it all is that his sister (the next child younger than him) just got engaged for Christmas and his mom is SUPER excited about that and talking about her future and her wedding (a year after ours). From the get go, they didn't show that excitement for FI. My heart hurts for him when it comes to his mom and older brother's reactions to his decisions. At least his dad and the other 3 siblings are supportive...