Engagement Party Purpose?

[slapsappyhappy]

Hello,

 

I have always thought that engagement parties were solely for people grubbing for more presents. In my circle they are frowned upon as just another way to get more presents, and usually only people with money have them and they are at a catering hall. My sister's friends engagement party was like a mini wedding! It cost over $7,000 and had 3 courses and a cocktail hour! That is out of the question b/c that is the budget for my entire wedding!

 

My aunt was talking to me today and said that she hoped I would have one so that the families could get to meet each other before the wedding. I had not thought about that part before... I have a large family with a lot of aunt's and uncles and they have only met my FI's family on sad occasions. My aunt offered her backyard (which is pretty nice but now it is getting cold out) and plus we got engaged in July.

 

Is it too late because we have been engaged for 4 months?

Is there a way I could have an engagement party without appearing that I am grubbing for presents?

If I write "no gifts" on the invite will people still feel obligated?

 

I would love to have one just so our families could get to know each other, but should I just not bother or have something with just the families? so confused please help! p.s. I am from NY is it like this in other parts of the country?

[juliepfeif]

What if you not call it an engagement party? It could be a "Get to Know Your Future In-Laws Party." I think it's a nice idea so that everyone could get to know each other and be even more comfortable at the wedding. I've done party invitations where I add the line: Please no presents except your presence.

[lizzyl875]

You could have a casual get together instead. We're planning on having a bbq at my house in lieu of a formal engagement party. We just want people to celebrate with us and talk about the DW and meet each other etc. Low key and I like that phrase from the other post "please no presents except for your presents." Thanks for sharing that phrase, cute and to the point.

[caribbeanLover]

I had a back yard bbq engagment party. It was a blast and def a memory I will always have. I wouldn't change it for the world. i know what you mean, of friend of mine had an e party, at a hall, looked like a wedding!! (I think that is way to over the top)

I ask people very polity and nicely for no gifts. I think I got 1 gift card for a restaurant and 1 bottle of sparkling wine.

I don't think it's to late to have one, I think it would be a really nice way for both families to get together to know each other before the wedding (So at the wedding they will all know each other!)

Let us know if you decide to have one!!

[Meyer2010]

I agree with your view on engagement parties. IMO I think they are selfish and I know if I was invited to one I would have a hard time buying the couple presents for E party, bridal shower, and wedding! That's alot!

 

Well, it looks like you are getting next summer so I would think you would have family members on both sides throwing you bridal showers. I had 4 "family" bridal showers and one "couples" shower. My FMIL, my aunts (dad's family), my aunts (mom's family), my aunts (stepdads family). I was pretty lucky! My families got along great and it was alot of FUN!

 

I bet you will get someone in your families to throw you a bridal shower. Hang in there!

 

Good Luck!

 

~ Erica

[Sheree10]

My family threw us a suprise e- party over the summer and at that time we were engaged for six months. It was very informal BBQ/cookout with our family and friends. We got gifts but it wasn't expected, it was just to get everyone together to celebrate.

[nbulldog19]

I at first didnt want an engagement party either cuz i didnt want people to spend money getting us gifts, I just want them to save their money and come to the DW. But once my friend told me it would be more about getting together and everyone meeting each other, I let her do it. We just had our engagement party this past weekend at a friends house, it was a blast. She sent out an evite, and told everyone to bring a bottle of wine. We had a wine and cheese party, everyone mingled and had a great time. Maybe you could do something like that! Just a thought

[CHAKLIT]

We're having a basement party....nothing formal, just food, drinks & fun!!