"Please, No Boxed Gifts"- Huh?

[classadiva]

Now....I am a little older than the average bride, so maybe this is something new, but my FI and I received an invite to a AHR that included the phrase "Please, no boxed gifts." I have to say, I was not only a bit taken aback, but my initial reaction is that this is a bit tacky. Essentially, are they not simply asking that you bring a check? Did I read this wrong? This is especially true since there was no registry information included and no website to look at to find out where the couple is registered. I don't know...maybe it's me and this type of wording is perfectly acceptable. LOL

[~*Kathy*~]

I would assume the same thing if I saw that and I agree, I think they could have used better wording. I think many engaged couples would actually prefer cash so that they can go pick up what they want or need without having to put together a registry. I don't think you should feel obligated to give them cash if you're not comfortable doing so. They should understand when they say something like that that some people may not be comfortable with the idea of giving money as a gift. Just my two cents and I certainly don't think it makes you a bad guest if you don't.

[amandseth]

I also agree with you, it's a very tacky way to ask for cash. I've heard of some people adding a cute poem that suggests they would prefer monetary gifts, but NEVER have I heard of anyone actually telling you what NOT to get.

My fiance and I are moving to Taiwan after the wedding, where my fiance intends to get his PhD, so we faced the same issue of not wanting to accumulate a bunch of stuff. I ran the poem idea by my fiance, but he thought even that was too tacky. So we've just left it on good faith. We haven't registered anywhere, and those who ask about a registery, we just politely explain that we will be moving overseas and thus unable to take things with us, so we haven't registered. People seem to get the hint.

[~Jessica~]

I think it is pretty tacky! I agree with Kathy don't feel like you need to get them $$, I say get them what you feel comfortable with. I am sure most people will ignore that part of the invite anyway!

[*Lo*]

Wow. I've never seen that before. And although it seems that most couples prefer monetary gifts I honestly think it's rude to put that on an invitation.

[SusieQ]

Yeah I agree very tacky... We do not want gifts period and have said that on our invites. We both have been married before and have had homes that we just recently combined. We just cleaned out all of the seconds we had of everything.

[autjo]

Tacky! Tacky! Etiquette says to not even put gift/registry info on the invites because it takes away from the actual event. Leaving "no boxed gifts" up to interpretation of the guests sounds like a terrible idea! That just makes the couple look bad. I think you should buy a blender, take it out of the box and wrap it up as the gift

[classadiva]

Whew...I thought it was me!!! LOL The truth is that these days, I purchase gifts from the registry for the bridal shower and ALWAYS give cash as a wedding gift. I have no problem giving cash as I think most couples would prefer it. However...the wording just did not sit right with me and seemed a bit off-putting. IMHO, if someone cares enough about you to purchase ANYTHING for you...you should humbly accept it!!

[classadiva]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SusieQ Yeah I agree very tacky... We do not want gifts period and have said that on our invites. We both have been married before and have had homes that we just recently combined. We just cleaned out all of the seconds we had of everything.

That is so thoughtful of you!! I'm sure that your guests appreciate that you did this.

[classadiva]

Quote:

Originally Posted by autjo Tacky! Tacky! Etiquette says to not even put gift/registry info on the invites because it takes away from the actual event. Leaving "no boxed gifts" up to interpretation of the guests sounds like a terrible idea! That just makes the couple look bad. I think you should buy a blender, take it out of the box and wrap it up as the gift

LOL.....I wouldn't do that...but....others might not let them off of the hook so easily. My mother always says...if they knew better...they would do better.

BTW...I thought that it was indeed bad etiquette to place the registry info in the invite.....glad that you confirmed that. Truthfully...I do not mind that so much since I like being able to purchase something for the shower off of the registry.