"wtf" is wrong with people?

[JaimeLynne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dragonfly We have always had issues over his family, because they never liked the fact that I was white, they are not close to our son, they don't even remember his birthday, and I was hoping this would change things by spending time with us, and Liam, and they would learn to love him. I don't know how I am even going to be able to look at all of them right now!! I am just so angry and hurt. Kelly~

Oh Kelly, there's no other way to say it - this just sucks. I completely sympathize for you. I would be feeling the EXACT same way. Seriously, what is their deal? Does it have anything to do with culture differences (not racial, but cultural)?

Oh, and I must add - how can ANYONE turn away or think less of sweet, sweet Liam. That pisses me off most of all. He didn't ask for any of that. That is just horrible of them. It makes me absolutely sick to hear so I can't imagine what you and Everton must feel (and eventually Liam, if he isn't already aware of it).

Anyways, I am so sorry to hear all of this. Just remember that you can't control other people's actions. Ultimately we are all the creators of our own destiny and the last thing you need is to be sucked into their b.s. They are unfortunately choosing to create a grim reality for themselves in regards to this wedding and family connections. As sad/frustrating/hurtful, etc. as it must be I would say go on planning your gorgeous wedding without them. And it will be just that - gorgeous.

Best wishes to all of you,
<3 Jaime

[CourtneyV]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Martha Coming up with $1000 CAN be hard, you guys. You may not know if these people live pay check to pay check. You dont know how many bills they have. You really just dont know. We have switched locations several times to try and save money for our guests. When it comes down to it, we are going to probably dish out a lot of money to help them... You just never know what people's finances are REALLY like.

That's very true, but why the heck would they put down a deposit if they can't afford it? I'm sorry, that's just not fiscally smart. And if you really want to make it, but can't afford it, then a chat or a heads up BEFORE the final pay date is probably the smart thing to do. I will have plenty of guests who won't be able to afford it - fine, that's ok. You don't put down a deposit and then neglect to save up $1000. Not only have you invested the extra time and energy into making the arrangements after they RSVP'd, but now you have to make arrangements for those of your guests that are left high and dry because of this. UGH! This makes me angry and they're not even my guests!!!!

On the flipside. My family put down our deposits for my cousin's wedding, we saved our money for the trip and when we went to place our final payment on the day the final payment was due... THE DAY IT WAS DUE, we found out from the TA (not my cousin, the TA!) that the wedding was cancelled. We went anyways because we would have lost out on $500 worth of deposits, but that's the flipside to Wedding Deposit Blues! lol

[dragonfly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nini_Bride That's very true, but why the heck would they put down a deposit if they can't afford it? I'm sorry, that's just not fiscally smart. And if you really want to make it, but can't afford it, then a chat or a heads up BEFORE the final pay date is probably the smart thing to do. I will have plenty of guests who won't be able to afford it - fine, that's ok. You don't put down a deposit and then neglect to save up $1000. Not only have you invested the extra time and energy into making the arrangements after they RSVP'd, but now you have to make arrangements for those of your guests that are left high and dry because of this. UGH! This makes me angry and they're not even my guests!!!! On the flipside. My family put down our deposits for my cousin's wedding, we saved our money for the trip and when we went to place our final payment on the day the final payment was due... THE DAY IT WAS DUE, we found out from the TA (not my cousin, the TA!) that the wedding was cancelled. We went anyways because we would have lost out on $500 worth of deposits, but that's the flipside to Wedding Deposit Blues! lol

Courtney that is so rude also, I guess there is always going to be the rude and inconsiderate, not much we can do about it. The thing that gets me is it's not 1 or even 2 people, but 12 people, Everton's entire family, so it's not just about not being able to afford it. Has anyone had a whole entire family cancell last minute, it certainly makes me feel like they really don't care about us, which is something I have said for years. Everton's going to have a hard time convincing me otherwise.

Kelly~

[PaulaV]

My goodness Kelly! Unbelieveable! I am so sorry to hear you have to deal with this issue.

 

I like Maria's paper sack idea.

 

I am ready to start throwing some rocks!

 

[-Kate-]

My new motto - and feel free to adopt it - is "F' them". I have had similar trouble with FIs family (Tammy's post at the beginning of the thread is about them - and rightfully so.) They have this heir of entitlement like deadlines don't apply to them bc they are family of the B&G.

 

After stressing about his family I finally said F them. If they come they come. If they don't oh well. This day has jack to do with them. If the come and start bitching while there, I'm going to walk away. I'm done humoring selfish people.

 

Sorry - that turned into a vent!

 

Anyway - try to stop stressing. they are adults. If they want to get themselves there they know how. It's out of your hands. You two will get married and have an amazing wedding. If they miss that it's not your fault.

[starchild]

Oh Kelly people really show their a@@es when things get crucial, don't they? I'm in an "interracial" marriage and never had to deal with either side having a problem but I know it happens and how freakin sick is that? Hate only begets more hate. That could be it's own thread!

 

As for the flakey booking habits, I've been there. We gave people 9 months and a travel agent that for $150 down will reserve your trip and let you pay what you can when you can up until 30 days before you leave. We also presented packages that were like $600pp for a basic trip. These are all working adults. That means if they took $50 out of each paycheck they could pay it off in 6 months. They had 9.

 

Now, 2 months before the wedding some of the slackers asked how they could get on the payment plan.....HELLO! Nevermind that if they had been participating they would see that the info is on our website or in the 2 mailings I sent them months in advance, but by then it was just plain too late to start a payment plan! WTF??

 

I say if they can't come it's sad for Everton but a blessing in disguise for you....keep those haters away from your wedding if at all possible. They have a problem with your skin tones? That's their loss and they can have that problem stateside where you won't be paying for them to eat and drink.....fu@kers!!

[Heidi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by starchild Oh Kelly people really show their a@@es when things get crucial, don't they? I'm in an "interracial" marriage and never had to deal with either side having a problem but I know it happens and how freakin sick is that? Hate only begets more hate. That could be it's own thread!

Oh boy do I feel you on this one Kelly!!! Interracial relationships are tough! Some people are so ignorant about that....like skin color really means ANYTHING in a relationship! AARGH! I have people saying to me 'think about your children and what they will have to face being mixed race,' etc etc etc. And the looks we get from some people are just plain WRONG! ah, now I'm getting all heated on this topic....

[Christine]

Kelly I am so sorry you are going through this and mostly that they treat you and Liam so poorly. Will's family was the reason we changed our location and they honestly can drive home after the wedding because they live like an hour away and his grandparents are not coming because "everything they need is in Brentwood" where they live and his aunt is mad at the hotel for something stupid so she's not coming! people are so ridiculous!

Kelly you will have a beautiful wedding and all your children (who are you and Everton's family) will be there and it will be wonderful...and as Kate said "f" them

[Nrvsbride]

Eeew I am not going to go off on a racial rant but I just wanted to say that I really cannot fathom how it is 2007 and people are still making comments about interacial couples. My FI is Irish (I'm Spanish) and I've had rude people in his neighborhood ask if I'm the nanny!! Who does that? Uggh I really feel for the brides on this forum that have people making snide or disparaging remarks, it is sooooo not acceptable!

 

Okay now that my little rant is over with, Kelly I am sorry to hear that his family has not booked yet. What are they going to do? I guess people always think they can do things last minute, but once they realize that it will be more money they will probably complain that it is too expensive. Hmmpfh. Kate is right if they can't make it that is their problem, not yours. And the only people who matter are you, E, Liam and the rest of your children. I hope everything works out for you, I know you must be stressed.

[JulieG]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hln321 Oh boy do I feel you on this one Kelly!!! Interracial relationships are tough! Some people are so ignorant about that....like skin color really means ANYTHING in a relationship! AARGH! I have people saying to me 'think about your children and what they will have to face being mixed race,' etc etc etc. And the looks we get from some people are just plain WRONG! ah, now I'm getting all heated on this topic....

You know what your children will have to face, being so good looking that everyone will want to be their friends and when they get older be in love with them. I am sorry, but I have never met a "mixed race" person who is not exceptionally good looking. People need to understand that love is love, it does not see colour or race or religion or even sex, you can't help who you love, and you should never ever need to!