"wtf" is wrong with people?

[MikkiStreak]

What is Everton's position/stand point on this issue? Is he aware they are backing out? How does he think you both should proceed?

[tvt]

oh man, that sucks. what is wrong with people? get it together!

[KAMEYER70]

I can certainly understand how angry (more like furious!) you must be feeling. I am sure that Everton must be hurting, too. I mean, I would be devistated if my family decided not to come. I really, really hope they can figure something out and get those deposits paid by Thursday.

 

Maybe in the future, give them a fake deadline in advance of the real one.

[Can'tHardlyWait]

I don't have anything to contribute that all the girls haven't already told you -I am just SO sorry and SO angry for you! I really think that people, especially family, take the whole experience for granted and it's so unfair. It's like they think the wedding won't happen without them and you are expected to figure out a way to make everything work.

 

My only advice is not to put too much pressure on Everton. I am sure he is painfully aware that it is his family causing the problem and not anyone else - that has to be so hard for him...

 

I know that they will lose their deposits on Thursday, but are they going to be locked out of the hotel too? I guess what I am trying to figure out is if they can still try to come up with the money and book airfare and accomodations at a higher cost later on. It definitely sucks for them, but that is what they get for procrastinating

[dragonfly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikkiStreak What is Everton's position/stand point on this issue? Is he aware they are backing out? How does he think you both should proceed?

Everton tries to make excuses for his family, they have always been a hot topic for us, they have never really accepted me, or Liam. We argued last night because he barely said anything to them, I think they should be told how hurtful this is to us, I would certainly tell my family if it was the other way around. I do know he is hurting though, so getting mad at him I guess won't really help, but I am pissed and he is an easy target, since he won't let me yell at his mom. What is with men and their mothers, they always act like they couldn't possibly call them on any of their bs, where as girls usually have it out with their mom's, and solutions are found.

God I hope to never be that mom, when my boys grow up!

Kelly~

[Martha]

Coming up with $1000 CAN be hard, you guys. You may not know if these people live pay check to pay check. You dont know how many bills they have. You really just dont know. We have switched locations several times to try and save money for our guests. When it comes down to it, we are going to probably dish out a lot of money to help them...

 

You just never know what people's finances are REALLY like.

[dragonfly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by GalitInNY My only advice is not to put too much pressure on Everton. I am sure he is painfully aware that it is his family causing the problem and not anyone else - that has to be so hard for him... I know that they will lose their deposits on Thursday, but are they going to be locked out of the hotel too? I guess what I am trying to figure out is if they can still try to come up with the money and book airfare and accomodations at a higher cost later on. It definitely sucks for them, but that is what they get for procrastinating

I am trying to not be hard on Everton, but god if he doesn't talk to them, who will. I would never say anything or I may not have a relationship with his family when all is said and done.

I guess they could try a last minute deal, but it is getting to be last minute, and I hate late surprises, I am a planner and a control freak, and I am trying to be relaxed aboout this wedding, but come on, I feel like if they couldn't get the money together with a year's notice to hell with them! I want to confirm my dinner with the wc, and my welcome reception. They don't understand how much time and thought goes into planning a dw, I think people just assume we are going away and there is not much to do, if they show up great, if not oh well! I don't think they truly think of it as a wedding, with a reception, dance, and everything that goes along with a " at home wedding". Us girls put more thought into our guests then most at home wedding brides, simply because we are appreciative that people are travelling so far to be with us, well it would be nice to feel a little of that love back! Wouldn't it girls!!!

[dragonfly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Martha Coming up with $1000 CAN be hard, you guys. You may not know if these people live pay check to pay check. You dont know how many bills they have. You really just dont know. We have switched locations several times to try and save money for our guests. When it comes down to it, we are going to probably dish out a lot of money to help them... You just never know what people's finances are REALLY like.

These are people with 2600 square foot homes, and good jobs, and they tavel back and forth to jamaica 2 or 3 times a year. His aunt took off for Jamaica this week, how about paying for the trip you committed to instead of going to Jamaica. His sister is single and lives at home and has a good full time job. His mother also has a good job and her house is paid for. I am not talking about people who if they had put an effort in couldn't have come up with the money. We also thought Jamaica would have been good to get married they could have stayed with family, but they talked us out of it, because they wanted to go to the DR. They had over a year. I am a stay at home mom of 5 kids, so I know all about the value of a dollar, but when I give my word, other then some major event (and there isn't any), I follow through with it. I am leaving in 6 weeks, it's not like they gave any warning that there would be a problem. I would never push people to spend money they don't have, it just seems to me they didn't care enough to bother saving for it.

Kelly~

[Martha]

Hmmm....Ya, that sucks. Maybe they can manage to pay by tomorrow or can get a deal somewhere else? I am sure it would mean a lot to Everton to have his family there...if they have a problem with you or Liam, you would think they would at least do it for Everton. I am sorry you are having to go through this.

[michelle08]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Martha Coming up with $1000 CAN be hard, you guys. You may not know if these people live pay check to pay check. You dont know how many bills they have. You really just dont know. We have switched locations several times to try and save money for our guests. When it comes down to it, we are going to probably dish out a lot of money to help them... You just never know what people's finances are REALLY like.

Martha,
I totally agree with you that it's not easy for everyone to spend money, but on the other hand, that is why people (us brides) plan these things so far in advance. We spend so much time, in addition to the other things we have going on to overly accommodate our guests because we want them to be there. If they said no from the get go, then that would be a different story because then like you, they could have changed the location to one that was more affordable (eventhough they already changed it once for them) or even had it close to home if it was that important that they came and they couldn't afford it. My point is there would have been lots of options early on.

However, when you tell people and plan with people and commit to something then you have to take some responsibility and realize that when you don't follow through it doesn't just affect you, it affects everyone!! So as much as I totallly understand the money issue (I myself couldn't be in one of my best friends wedding 2 yrs ago because I just was going through a bad financial thing) I think Kelly has every right to be upset!!

On a side note...when I couldn't be in my friends wedding, it broke my heart to tell her that I couldn't come to Hawaii and I tried to look through all my finances to try and find a way to make it work and I knew that it would take alot for me to save and even then didn't know if I could break the bank just to go. So I made sure I told her early on that I couldn't do it because I owed that her to make other arrangements and not string her along!

Just my opinion.