Need a moment to vent!

[BahiaBride16]

Hi ladies,

 

I just need a second to vent about someone who is supposed to be one of my best friends!

My MOH called me last night and mentioned that one of my bridesmaids (a best friend from since we were babies, we'll call her said that she didn't know if she was gonna come to my bridal shower. Which is totally understandable if she has a prior engagement etc. So when I talked to B yesterday she mentioned my bridal shower, so I asked her if she was gonna come. She had the nerve to tell me that she wasn't sure and that it "just wasn't her type of thing", not that she had something else to do! Just that it wasnt something she really wanted to do! And so I said that it kinda sucks, and that if it was her shower I wouldn't even think twice about being there for her (even if it wasnt MY kinda thing).

 

And then she says "well it's my birthday the day before" (which I knew and had asked to take her for dinner prior to our convo) and goes on to say "and like I wanna spend MY whole birthday cooking for YOUR shower!" (b/c MOH had asked if she could bring a platter). She was SO rude and really hurt my feelings! First of all I didn't plan my shower and second of all who really cares if it's her birthday THE DAY BEFORE! She is supposed to be there for me isn't she??! I am so offended so I said well I hope you will be there for me, and she says back "well I took a whole week out of my life to go to Mexico for your wedding, isn't that being there enough for you?"!! WTF!!

 

I can't believe she is being so self centered, all I'm asking for is a couple days for her to be there for me, and she knows that if it was for her I would be there, no matter what! She even told me that she knows that!

 

Sorry for the long post, just had to get if off my chest!

 

Thanks girls :-)

[SusieQ]

Let's guess she is totally jealous of you, and would probably turn green if she did!!! I think that is the issue... She just can not stand or contribute to your happiness.... I have been cutting those people off at the knees lately and just saying "good bye"... Totally rude and selfish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lady_Di]

Sometimes, close friends can be real jerks.

 

If she doesn't want to come to your birthday because she'll be cooking...she doesnt have to cook! She can just buy something from the store. She's just being petty. Don't let it get you.

[finzup]

OMG.. based on that I would seriously consider kicking her out of the wedding party an uninviting her!! (ok then I would calm down)..

I'd probably write a huge letter and air it all out. In it I would be nice, pleasant and convey how hurt I was...

I'm sorry this is happening.. hopefully she will turn around. Maybe there's something else going on under neath her attitude and you can work it out.

[jk1101]

Wow - very harsh from someone who is supposed to be a close friend.

Did she already book her trip for your wedding?

if she has, maybe you could just tell her that it seems like the bridesmaid role doesn't seem to be working out for her and perhaps she'd like to just come as a guest...or she doesn't have to come at all if it's too much of an inconvenience to take the week off from work.

Maybe she's having some kind of personal issue that is spilling out into how she's interacting with you? Or like SusieQ said maybe she's just jealous.

 

A conversation is in order because she was very rude and you didn't deserve it....if she was a good friend, it wouldn't matter if your shower was on her birthday. She would come because that's what friends do.

[BahiaBride16]

Thanks for listening girls!! I think that she might be jealous (unfortunatley). There are 3 of us that are really good friends, and me and our other friend are both getting married within the next 8 months, so I think she feels left out. Which I can totally understand (I would feel the same way). But I also would try my best to keep that to myself and just be really happy for my friends! I'm feeling a little calmed down now, I still haven't talked to her since that convo, but maybe I will try tonight :-) We'll see...

 

Oh and yes finzup she has booked and paid in full already! And believe me I have thought about kicking her out of the bridal party! But I just can't bring myself to do it (I appearently have no spine...lol!)

[damaris]

She might be upset that she is not your MOH. Some people assume that because they've known you since you were in pigtails, that they should be your MOH.

[Krista_H]

Good for you for being so "mature" about it and not sinking to her level. I'm not taking her side by any means, but sometimes people have off days. Good luck when you talk with her.

[islandbride317]

HOW RUDE IS SHE, RIGHT?!?!

 

WTF is all I can say....and your wedding is just around the corner, too, which makes it worse that she is acting this way all of a sudden. Could it be that she is jealous that you're getting married and she isn't? I mean, birthdays happen once a year, but come on! It's your wedding, for "F" sake! I think that is mostly what her problem must be. Maybe you can speak to her privately, and just say, "Hey, what you said the other day really hurt my feelings. If it were you getting married, wouldn't you want me to genuinely be excited for you? Wouldn't it hurt your feelings if I, as your best friend, acted like I could care less about something that is so important in your life?" and then MAYBE she will get the hint.

 

GOOD LUCK, SWEETIE, and no matter what, your BDW girls are here for you!

[lil_reeves]

Quote:

Originally Posted by damaris She might be upset that she is not your MOH. Some people assume that because they've known you since you were in pigtails, that they should be your MOH.

I totally agree! She's acting catty for a reason and it could be that either she's jealous of you or jealous she's not your MOH. My FI has a friend who he's known forever who has been bitching and complaining he isn't in the bridal party, well we had one GM that had to back out due to a family emergency and FI asked this friend and guess who acted like he could care less? I think people just get weird about wedding stuff sometimes. Little things offend them that shouldn't.

Is she normally like this? Or is this just a cry out for attention? Those are the questions I would be asking before doing or saying something drastic and upsetting to both of you.