Are your FI's parents contributing?

[atalanta]

Who pays for what is really tricky. There is what tradition dictates and there is what makes sense for the couple.

 

My fiance and I decided that we would pay for our wedding ourselves in part because I did not want the wedding that my parents could afford to give to me and in part because I thought asking my FI's parents to shell out for a second wedding for my fiance would be unfair.

 

Because of our fixed budget and what we prioritized (number of guests, great food and alcohol in taste and variety, great venue, and coordinator), there are many things that we will not be able to afford (professional photography, professional videography, new wedding bands, bouquets for bridesmaids and boutonnieres for groomsmen). Like so many of the families of the ladies on this board, my family knows that we are paying for this ourselves and has begun to make offers to help how they can. For example, my mom has offered her wedding dress, my sister has offered us her time share for our honeymoon, and my uncle has offered us his home for our welcome/rehearsal dinner/party. We are so grateful for these offers.

 

Our wedding is not for a year yet, but I'm interested to see whether my FI mother will offer anything. We are not expecting anything from anyone, but I think her offering something/anything would be a nice sentiment that would show that she's interested in helping to make this a happy event for us. As my dad would say, "Put your money where your mouth is".

 

 

 

 

 

[atalanta]

How did this turn out?
 

Originally Posted by Raazzy5711 

So glad I found this thread.  My father is extremely well off but extremely selfish and cheap!  He has a townhouse in the neighborhood I want to live in that he rents out so I plan on having him come up to visit me for the day so we can have a "talk".  My plan is to present him with three options:  He signs over the townhouse out right and I pay for the wedding myself, he lets me move in there and cover the mortgage and help with a flat amount or he doesn't let me move and he pays for EVERYTHING!!  LOL!

 

Just need to work on how I will present this to him...

 

[anichols8]

FI and I are paying for everything.

[Soon2BNJersey]

Hell No my FI family is not paying a dime and BTW I am pissed about it.  that's why they are gonna have the worst seats in the house. LOL  Just Kidding... or am I?  We'll see. 

[vav11238]

The FIlL's aren't even coming (due to distance - Scotland to DR is crazy) which we understand. And they are retired. My folks are paying for it all. Which my dad insisted because he's old fashioned like that. I tried to reason with him - that a retired man should not be throwing money around and needless to say, I was shut down. Which is why we're getting married in DR. A New York wedding would have been minimum $30,000 - MINIMUM! 

 

I am secretly hoping FILs get us a really good gift though. Like the Kitchenaid mixer I've had my eye on for forever! 

[elisamarie]

Me and my fiance are paying for everything ourselves. His Dad is not even coming - even though we offered to pay for his entire trip! Long story, but jeez, it`s your SON! Anyways, for what we are paying for our wedding without help from either of our families is still cheaper than if we had a wedding here since a lot more people would come and the price would surely skyrocket. There are a lot of people coming who we thought would never come so we`re happy about that. Neither of our parents are in any situatation in which they could help us out.

[elisamarie]

HA! that`s hilarious - sit them in the back!

 

Originally Posted by Soon2BNJersey 

Hell No my FI family is not paying a dime and BTW I am pissed about it.  that's why they are gonna have the worst seats in the house. LOL  Just Kidding... or am I?  We'll see. 

 

[Sllefebvr]

No they are paying for nothing... and they even had a dinner with the two of us and my parents top "secretly in their own way i feel" make sure we weren't going to ask them for money.. They were asking us how we were going to pay for it etc. gheesh I dislike them.

[kat2012]

My mom and FILs are not able to even come to our wedding, forget about contributions. It is gonna be FI and me covering all the expenses...

[Jamie5280]

My FFIL told us that traditionally the groom's parent's pay for the reheasal dinner. So, that's what he's doing.  Don't get me wrong,  I am grateful for any money, but it made me chuckle!!  Seriously, we are not in 1955.  I think FFIL thinks that my Dad is paying for everything else, which is definitely not the case.  My FI and I are paying for pretty much everything on our own.  So, FFIL is paying for the rehearsal dinner    I'll take what we can get!!!!